Wednesday, January 16, 2013

Can I do this?

Just read an article on Bellanaija about a Tayo girl that lost a lot of weight. I'm so happy and proud of her but I also identify with the fat person she was.
I know soooo much about loosing weight; the dos and donts. There's a lady in my office who is really trying and I prescribe for her things she should do. Of course she wonders why I don't do exactly the same. Hmmmmmmm........

The year I got married, I enrolled in a gym, really tried to eat healthy and the idea really was to look beautiful in my dress. I kinda achieved that. But sadly, my heart and mouth disagree when I say I want to lose weight.
I don't have to fool myself, I know my problems. It all boils down to Indiscipline.

The control that cakes and chocolates wield over me is amazing. Heck it's embarrassing. I ALWAYS justify my reasons for eating cakes, ranging from my mood to my promise to skip meals or just "oh well I'm not like the fast being alive". And the moment I say am done, bam someone is kind enough to bring me cake. And when they do I don't say no, I keep them. I like to say I use it to entertain guests but I also know I'm the special guest of honour.

I hated my gym days. I'd get intimidated by slim girls trying to keep fit. I'd hate the instructor yelling "gimme 80 crunches". I wanted to see results immediately and I hated that people would say "omotee you're blowing up o" after boring vegetable meals and fruits and painful crunches at the gym.

I was really proud of myself that year though, it was the year I proved to myself that I can actually do anything I set my mind to do. Now I'm having a hard time finding that girl.
I'm a strong woman, an achiever but I'm so angry I'm not putting all my energy into losing weight. I've also examined my reasons for wanting to lose weight.
Yes I want to look fab. I want to wear nice things and feel good about myself. I want to be healthy. Doc already told me I need to shed weight before my next pregnancy so I don't get per eclampsia.
and maybe more than all these, I want to know I have total control of my body.

I know it's a long and tedious road to my achievements but I really want to try. It's a lot of discipline. Overhauling my whole life style. I can't run away from cakes, I know I need to get to a point where I see Chloe's cupcakes and just say nah babe, you dont need it.
It's just like an old friend who was trying to quit smoking  so he made the habit of keeping a packet of cigarette in his living room, like saying I know u r there but am not gonna touch u. 
i know to get on with it I have to:
- kill all the bakers in Abuja
- employ someone to slap me everytime I am about to take something unhealthy

Seriously though, I think I know all I have to do. Can I do them? Or can I trust myself to do them?