Introducing Me

Back again

2012-01-27T01:28:00.000-08:00

Not yet Uhuru....

2011-11-25T12:33:00.000-08:00

I cant explain what happened to me since the last time I blogged. Life just kinda went past so fast that its hard to catch up. Life just happened to me and I just didnt seem to find the words to put down.

But tonight I kinda found my voice (or fingers if you prefer).
Sadness and joy seems to have a way of making you come to yourself; you just slow down and see yourself again.

You know when you hurt so bad that you actually feel your heart ache? When the very essence of you seems to be drawing away? Yeah am there.

I'm not a perfectionist but I do try a great deal to figure how things work out for me. I try to have a plan and focus for my life. I also appreciate the fact that life does have a way of happening and messes up your plan.
I try to avoid anything that tampers with my peace, as much as I can. So when against all my plan my peace and joy is threatened, I hurt badly.
Its worse when its that someone you so hope and believe wont hurt you that bad just stabs your heart, twists the blade and isnt bothered a bit.
Sometimes you just need a heart of steel.

So I'm here tonight, crawling back to my safety nest where I can express my hurt, without fear or care. It wont solve my problems but hey, I feel good about letting it out.
Tears feel so comforting right now. I dont even wanna stop them. Feels good right now.

Rambled mindlessly enough for one night......

Soon I'll be on my way to Uhuru.... Will get there.

Pre Wedding, Wedding and Post Wedding PART I (Long Post Alert!)

2011-08-26T03:05:00.000-07:00

I dont know who informed blogger that i understand Dutch or whatever language it decided to translate my account to. Very silly, God pass dem sha!

PRE WEDDING

I thought I was going to be one of those brides who will take everything very easy and have no gitters or anything. I found out I was kidding.

The first issue was the bridesmaids horror: I had one of the girls who live in the UK and who is also a wedding planner choose the dress, buy them and send them so everyone can do the fitting. I wanted a simple dress that wont reveal boobs or be too short or have spaghetti strap cos my church is very conservative and has warned us that they will simply stop them at the door if their dresses turn out funny. I also wanted a shade of wine or maroon or something and I wanted the dress to be 10k tops.

She had a problem with EVERYTHING i wanted. I felt the only issue was getting a nice dress of 10k might be hard but not impossible. I think the first mistake was letting someone on the train choose the style cos she will inevitably choose something she likes and would look good on her without too much thots for the other girls. She suggested mono strap or tube.

Anyway, we agreed on one eventually. I sent the sizes of the girls and insisted that we make them a size bigger cos of where she was ordering from (Some American shop that has the factory in Hong Kong or somewhere). She did not agree, she said exact sizes. Long story short, I had to substitute 3 girls cos the dresses came in absolutely short and too small! Except for hers and a few other girls of course. She kept wondering why I didnt put girls who could afford any amount that could afford to pay more. I refused cos while I could, I wanted people who meant something to me on the train, not just a gathering of fine girls.

I refused to get angry sha cos she is a family friend and she will be coming all the way from UK. So I chuked it under bad biz and moved on. I made sure I didnt quarrel with anyone.

I didnt really like my make up too, I felt it could be better. Heck, the one I had for my intro was nicer. But thats a lesson for me and other brides to be, dont make choices for sentimental reasons, go with your gut feeling. I was not ugly o, but I knew it could be better.

We knew it was going to be a large wedding so I distanced myself from catering and halls etc I just told the decorators (who did very good jobs) what we wanted and the rest was left for both parents. It was largely their show anyway, lol.

My aso ebi was not dramatic at all. It was 6k (After plenty debates etc) and I got 60 friends and cousins to pick. I made sure I did not order more in spite of last minute pressures from some friends.

God has blessed me with wonderful friends and cousins who were there for me in all the ways that count and matter.

WEDDING

As with most Yorubas, the wedding was a 2 day affair: Engagement on Friday and Church on Saturday. Lots of activities.

On Friday morning, my make up artist who is also a friend did a special bath for me, something from the Hausa culture where they scrub u with palm oil and plenty other stuff. She first did the sugar scrub. Impatient me found it tiring sha.

While we were doing that, there were some traditional troupes from my mum's and grandmum's hometowns who were singing and dancing. My MIL and some women also came to pay courtesy call to my parents before the main event. I saw the video later, it was nice. But Yoruba can like plenty wahala sha! lol.

So we started dressing up quite early cos the engagement was to start by 2pm. I was ready by 12.45 or so. I hate rushing or going anywhere late and I didnt want anyone to say something ran late cos I wasnt ready on time.

We had a photo shoot around 1pm. The photographer insisted that its better we get some nice shots cos the lighting in the hall plus sweating wont let us get good shots. It turned out to be a very great idea. We went to a small water side where we both had some lovely shots.

The main event was sooooo long! I was tired and angry and just wanted to get it over and done with. I wasnt called to enter the hall until around 5 or some minutes to 6pm. I wanted to remove my nicely done gele and stretch my legs but instead i was hooked for hours. Thanks to my dad and his choice of "Alaga Iduro". Thats the spokeswoman engaged by the bride's family during engagement. The woman was booooooring and annoying and I have no idea why it took so long. I tried to smile and co-operate sha.

My MIL likes effizy o! All the things they brought for the engagement were all packaged differently. For instance, instead of having the young wives in the family carry in the tubers of yam in pieces, they put it all in one big basket that was built on a trolley. All the baskets were painted in gold and tied in blue ribbons.

Of cos of all the things they brought, the bride is mandated to pick just the bible. I wanted to pick something else o! lol.
I also could not dance well cos I was tired and angry and the band's equipment blew up or something so my entrance was not so grand. Hmmm. devil is a liar!

Meanwhile, Bubbly was such good sport all thu, in spite of the delay. He normally would be pissed and will just go quiet on everyone. But the guy was so sweet. And he danced!!!

One of my friends said Ömotee, dont bother competing with Bubbly on the dance floor o, the guy has displayed stuff that you cant compete with. She was not wrong. Bubbly's dance was serious!
Its a family thing I guess.

We left the venue around 8pm, tired but happy sha.

I got home, showered and packed my load in preparation for my husband's house tomorrow, lol.

\I locked my door and ignored all those visitors who felt they had the obligation to greet me and tried to sleep. I had the best CBM ever, she was so so wonderful!

Woke up early saturday morning. I was so calm but could not eat. Didnt want anything to upset my tummy or let my tummy bulge out, lol.

We got to church for 9.30 and the wedding was to start by 10am. Bubbly and his crew were already there. We were joined exactly 10.43am. I know cos immediately we were pronounced, Bubbly checked the time. The Pastor noted it and thot it was nice and told the whole congregation.

The message was brief and interesting too. The last thing the man said and I am sure to always remember was that"You both can fail at any other thing, but you must not fail to getting your spouse to heaven". Apt, touching.

Reception was another drama! They got some security guys to ward off independent photographers and some other nuisance from getting into the hall. U know those women who must attach some feather stuff to your chest ba? Ehen, those people.

Instead, the guys were bouncing everyone from entering the hall! They bounced my younger brother, my dad's uncle, Bubbly's uncle, etc At some point my MIL who went to the gallery in the hall was prevented from going back to her seat in the main hall. She simply yanked the guy off her way. Imagine what he said "We have our instructions". Most people gladly didnt take offense sha, they prolly knew those guys like to do over instruction. But it was very very annoying. You invite people for your wedding and they are prevented from entering, isnt that crap?? If they did that to me at someone's wedding, I'd feel bad, imagine.

Other than that, all went well, at least as much as we could see. We could not eat! I had just a few small chops before we entered the hall and some grapes. I lost my appetite. By the next day, I wanted all the food I missed out.

We did our first dance and we chose Donnie McClurkin and Yolanda Adam's "The Prayer". Bubbly heard it and fell in love with it. It was the best romantic 5 minutes or so of my life. Of course a few people were interested, some were busy with food or souvenirs etc Some where waiting for the proper dance.

At the end of the reception, Bubbly got most people crying with his vote of thanks. He chose to do it while prostrating! As in, he made all his speech save for the first 1 minute or so prostrating. Everyone cried except my mum. My mum had her water works on thursday morning while she was praying for me. My dad's tears were expected, he cries at other peoples weddings anyway, lol. I just saw everyone with tears in the hall and he got a standing ovation after wards. I cried just shortly after when I saw all my friends and families all in attendance. It was moving. I thot i was not going to cry at all.

In all, I give all thanks to God cos it all went well. Nothing evil happened to no one and it turned out t0 be the best days of my life. All my friends who made efforts to be there, like Luscious Ron, I was so so happy.

Am Back

2011-07-04T23:50:00.000-07:00

Where do i begin my story?

First am gonna thank my blogger friends who kept in touch in and out of here. For those who left comments on my postless post, lol. For LG who found out if my office was far away from the bomb blast in June, Miss Whitman, Luscious and of cos Chacha who called to say congrats.... u guys are simply wonderful.

Now to my absence: my muse was kidnapped by work and planning. I had so much to talk about and for some reason I just could not get around to do a post and when i finally found the strength, time and my muse, for reasons best known to blogger, it decided it was time for me to learn arabic. Everything was in arabic! I had no idea how to change it but thank God my super intelligent SIL (Sister in Law) helped me out :)

Oh yeah did i mention that i got married last weekend? Yes i did!!! I am now known and to be addressed as Mrs. Bubbly

God has been so wonderful! Details on my next post when i realised who has missed me and is glad to have me back :)

And when i get rid of this fake nails!

CIAO

Random

2011-05-20T10:55:00.000-07:00

Random

2011-05-20T10:46:00.000-07:00

None

2011-05-20T10:36:00.000-07:00

This and That.....

2011-03-17T04:13:00.001-07:00

Hey y'all! Been ages it seems.

Been so busy its exhausting. Plus i never knew wedding preparations could be this stressful, o ga!

I was hoping I would still be the normal omotee and everything around me wont be screaming "wedding preparations" but i must have been fooling myself. I was hoping lots of people would gladly make decisions for me (yes, am that clueless) but I answer one question or the other from either my mum or Bubbly's mum. What color do you want for this? what place for that?

Prior to all these prep, I talk to my mum almost everyday and I usually enjoy it, but now, she calls everyday having one info or question or something that I have to attend to. Na wa o!!!!

I have always wondered what an engagement list should contain and wondered what mine would look like. If i list out the things you will laugh ehn, I could not stop laughing myself. 42 tubers of yam, 42 pieces of kola nut, box filled with cloths for the bride, jewelry box, umbrella (this one cracks me up big time), dry fish etc I just laugh! I kept comparing the list to see if my parents were being funny with their own list, turns out mine was way better plus its not my parents decision anyway, its basically our village folks. They even asked for a goat! GOAT!!!! I calmed down when I heard some people ask for cow. Oginni?!?! So far I like the cloths part, Bubbly's mum has a good taste and knows what I like :)

I never knew choosing colours could be this hard. I have been trying to choose colours for our engagement attire, just Bubbly and I. The boy has decided all the colours I know are over used or not fine: blue, purple, wine, red. Please people, this is where y'all come in. ALL SUGGESTIONS on colour schemes are highly needed please! Just help me!

I gladly gave someone the freehand to handle the bridesmaids dresses and all that but she's having problems getting something appropriate because I want "nice, decent, classy and inexpensive". Nice and inexpensive look like they dont belong in the same sentence, its like trying to mix oil and water. I just dont want people spending so much money cos they wanna come for my wedding. She's in UK and i was hoping she would get something nice. I dont have the energy to make trips to lagos to find nice dresses. Neither am I prepared to give anything to any tailor, God forbid!

I am already dreading shopping for my gown. I like to say I like shopping, it just depends on what and when. When I have money and I just come accross stuff I like or might need, its good shopping. But I hate shopping for a particular thing: like looking for a pair of gold sandals to go with my some aso ebi, for some reason all the witches and wizards of my village will make sure i find only tacky and expensive gold sandals at that period. I am hoping they go on break when am ready to shop for my dress. I want something lacy and nice and decent that will at the same time meet the definition of "decent" for my parents church. Sometimes their definition of "decent" amounts to "wear a sack" or "the tackiest dress available".

Something else, suddenly everyone feels qualified and obliged to give us advice on marital issues now. I wonder if anyone of these people ever thought for once that we have had lots of people talk to us before them. Its usually the same advice, just slight variations in words and style. Some people virtually face me and go "You must be very patient and learn to submit...". As in, they just face me alone like the whole thing depends on me. Unfortunately I cant tell them not to bother as I have heard it all or am just plain bored and tired. I have to pretend that am attentive and I am hearing those magic words for the very first time in my life. We have not even started official counselling. I am curious and at the same time wary of what Counselling would entail. Meanwhile, I will answer all the questions honestly and wont be embarrassed by it, if they like, they can keep looking at me with bad eyes till eternity, OYO!

On a random note now:

Its painful to watch TV these days. I am referring to our own local stations. All the presidential and governorship campaign and ads going on now are just so painful to watch. I dont know if its the insincerity oozing out of their mouths or the funny dramas and people they use for the ads.

I especially loathe the one of Goodluck and Sambo playing some sort of soccer and scoring goals. Its just so dumb!!! And some people get paid for that?!?! WTH?! Make that April come and go sef, I don tire.

Gotta go now. I await ur inputs on colours and address and web addresses for anything you come up with please. Thank ya!

Great day y'all!

So the News is......

2011-03-09T06:04:00.000-08:00

I'm engaged. Yep!

No he didnt formally ask me to marry him.
He didnt give me any ring sef.

On Sunday 6th of March, we had our introduction. For Yorubas at least am sure we all do it, not sure its compulsory in other tribes.
Introductions are meant to be a quiet family affair but trust us yorubas, we do things in big big ways, hehehehe!
So Bubbly and his family came to beg (operating word being "Beg) for my hand in marriage seeing that am the best thing that happened to Bubbly :)
He did the whole dobale thing. They've been claiming they are royalty and the dont kneel or prostrate but they humbled themselves and knelt and prostrated! lol.

Then they came to get me, the whole fun fare, dancing and spraying. Of cos i loved the spraying part :)

The pictures turned out nicely, everyone looked happy. Ate good food and prayed and departed. It didnt take long, no unnecessary talks.

In all I give all glory to God for a beautiful introduction. The date is set and we shall begin the count-down together. Pls join me in prayers and ideas etc
I've been planning the wedding for a while now but I believe a lot is done with cash, see why una need to scabash for me ba? lol.

I've decided to buy a wedding dress eventually, no more renting. Am so certain am gonna leave it in my parents house after the whole ceremony.
I know am gonna make a trip to lag at least once. Abuja people are a bit limited and too expensive!!! haba! So here's where I need ur help. All the pictures and website addresses etc you can send, need them!

I've missed blogsville and its good to be back!

Tank u, tank u, tank u!

2011-02-07T04:03:00.000-08:00

Hey Pipo!

I know I was to continue my last post but you know how it is, some deadline, bosslady, life generally just kept me away.
Now I cant even remember what I was gonna blog about so this is gonna be some random ish.

I've got cramps again. I am sincerely and truly tired of cramps. Now it has a new thing it does apart from normal tummy ache, back ache and foul mood. Now my legs ache like crazy! I cant even describe the pain, its just painful (yeah, thats why its called pain abi) and annoying.

Some dude has infected my new HP laptop with virus. Its called security guard. I cant do anything with it. The guy was watching some dumb baseball game, forming some akata kinda thing and thereby exposing my computer. To cap it all he was behaving like he knew just how to deal with it. Next time i see him, I shall treat him like virus - guy u r viral!

Oh I've finally registered! I had given up on it cos I just didnt see myself joining any of those hopeless and endless queues. But my Mum and Bubbly were begining to make me feel like I was doing something very evil by not struggling to register. He had gone to his home town to register. So he got his friends, this very nice family to help write my name down which they did as early as 4 am! I had to leave home before 6 to go and monitor my name and then queue. It was so fast and I was done before 9.30am. I was so grateful but when I saw the queues in other places, I wanted to go back and kneel down to say thanks. I really hate queues. In school there was always some back door means for me to avoid queue. I paid for it all in camp when I had to queue for registration. I dont wanna remember those days mehn.
So i have my reg card. The picture is prolly the ugliest I've ever taken in my life tho, lol. I no care jare.

So I was at Salsa yesterday, it was so much fun. There was this funny guy who I had never seen before. He asked me to dance, he is obviously learning cos his steps lacked rythm. Guess what, he actually thot I was learning - it was a laughable scene. U know say pesin na learner/novice, im come begin dey treat u like say na u no sabi. He was actually encouraging me: "yeah, you're doing good, just keep going". Trust me, I kuku no talk. I said "pls try to come down to a learner's level, I am still struggling". Of cos he knew later when I danced with other people, for im mind e for don say "chei, i don jump sha!"

Ok, am going. This pain is frustrating!

Nice week y'all!

Didnt find a title...

2011-01-27T07:52:00.000-08:00

Hey people, now let me say it properly: Happy New Year!
May this be a very good year for us, with lots and lots of wonderful things installed for us IJN!

I have missed my internet family like crazy!
So much to talk about...

First, the reason for my seeming disappearance. The year started on a busy note. Bosslady as usual made sure there were lots of things to come back to, so i kinda got very busy first week. I told myself I wasnt gonna read blogs until I had done some work, its not a resolution, i dont do resolutions cos it just fails.
So i have been working and faffing around somewhat.

You had to see me when i got home (I travelled home for Xmas), i was grinning like an idiot and ransacked every room to see whats new and stealable. God it was good to see my mum and everyone else, but especially my Mum! We both couldnt stop smiling. I got nice treatments for the first 3 days, after that, it was just pretty normal.

Christmas day wasnt bad. Not bad at all. Somehow, Xmas isnt as fun as it used to be when we were kids. Then u could drink as many bottles of fanta as ur tummy could take without anyone questioning you and show off your new dress and shoes and that was fun. Now, I just wanna chill.
Somehow and thankfully too, all my friends were home for Xmas and we did the usual hanging out and discussing the political status of our dear country. Its more fun as we are all lawyers. We all talk like we talk to GEJ and everyone of importance one on one. Its nice.
And my darling friend is preggers! She looked cute!

So Church on Xmas day wasnt so much fun: EVERYONE is married. well, at least, most of my peers. So we do this welcome thing where u leave your seat to greet people. I could swear that all the women that greeted me were either saying (in their minds of course) that:
"Hmm, this girl is still not married. Such a nice girl. Eeh yah..."
or
"Hmm, this one still never marry, how she go marry, Abuja money don enter her eye, see the way she is dressed sef..."
Dont ask me how i know, I just know. Omo, na dem sabi jare.

I missed Bubbly like crazy. It was mad! I was away for just 10 days and it felt like one month.
I returned to Abuja on the 30th. Couldnt bear it anymore, lol.
We kinda caused a scene at the airport. It was so so emotional! Hmm, love o love!

Meanwhile, my trip back was not funny. Az in, not funny mehn!
Na road I dey take waka from Abuja home o. Until this time, I decided to come back by air to avoid that Lokoja road, its always crazy.
So i entered this plane/kombi bus. It was so small and noisy and I sat near the propellers No be say I no dey fly o but I have never been in one so small and with propellers! I kept praying and speaking in tongues and still imagining what would happen if the propellers just stop. I said "No God, pls, dont let me die like this, I still wanna marry Bubbly!".

The guy beside me kept gisting with me to take my mind off it. I asked him what would happen if the propellers stopped working and he said there is some plan B they usually have. I asked him if he was sure, he smiled and said no. I wanted to kill him. It was so funny when we landed cos I forgot in a moment when I saw Bubbly.

Will continue this tommorow.... Gotta go see my tailor.

Happy New Year!

2011-01-25T03:50:00.000-08:00

Just to say happy new year to you all.
I have really missed my blogville folks.

Will do a real post soonest.

Have a great week!

FINALLY, MY 100TH

2010-12-17T00:19:00.000-08:00

Its my 100th Yay!

So these are the answers to the questions

1. When did you start blogging and why (Myne Whitman)?

One day, i googled Ajala travels - to find out if its really true that a man named Ajala really did travel the whole world round. Then I discovered some girl's blog where she wrote lots of stuff about travelling etc There i found other interesting blogs and I kept reading them.

I also found out that everyone had their own style - which means you dont have to be a serious or full time writer, you could just put down your thots.

So in 2008 I started blogging and its been fun.

2. When is your wedding (Myne Whitman)?

I hope to tie the knot next year. There are lots of determining factors so I cant say specifically this month but I can say its definitely next year. It will only change if something really drastic happens and I am praying against that. So next year God's grace.

3. Shebi I will get aso ebi? (LG asks)

Yes you will - if you are willing to pay, lol. And if you are willing to let me meet you finally, abi how i wan take give you aso ebi?

4. Have you and Bubbly set a date? (Repressed One asks)

Please refer to question 2, I have kinda answered there.

5. Is it going to be in Abuja?

Nope, it will be in Ilorin where my parents live.

6. Why did you choose the law profession?

I decided to study law when I was in JS3 and I had to decide which subjects to choose in my SS classes. I hated maths and anything that has to do with calculations and stuff, all science courses and core accounting subjects too. Arts was interesting and I wanted to do anything professional from there, which could only be law.

I also liked the law dramas I saw on TV and those pretty ladies in cute skirts (not knowing of course that those dramas dont happen in Nigeria).

But when I got admission to study law, I fell in love and I really do love being a lawyer now.

7. Are you a virgin? (Wise Sage)

Yes.

I shant say more than that.

8. Is there anything you have decided to hold back from Bubbly...something you consider a secret?

No.
I am not much of a secretive person, I may not tell the whole world or strangers my business but I dont like keeping secrets. I believe people make big deals out of "secrets"that if you actually lay it down, it may not be such a big big deal.

I will hate for Bubbly to find out later something I chose not to tell him earlier. Luckily, I dont have skeletons so I guess it makes it easier. The only thing I regard as a secret, I have told him.

9. If yes, what is it? Why are you holding back?

Not applicable.

10. What's the craziest thing you two have done together? (PET Projects)

Hmmmm...... How do i answer this?

Okay, there was one day we made out in his car just parked outside my gate. People were passing by and we were trying to be discreet and all. The fear of people seeing us et al made it seem all crazy and funny. We ended up laughing at each other.

Then there was a day we wanted to make out so bad, (i choose to blame it on ovulation) but I had my little cousin around so we could not, I didnt want to do the making out in the car anymore. So Bubbly suggested we send my little cousin to buy something totally needless and irrelevant and we quickly made out. It was crazy, at least for me.

My colleague just told me his own crazy moves and they beat mine hands down!

Okay those are all the questions so far.

I'd love to say blogging has been such a great experience for me. The fact that I have a place where I can let my thots out freely and not wonder what anyone would say, I'd say thats - comforting.

I've also enjoyed getting comments, they warm me up. I remember when I just started, I was checking every moment to see if anyone had commented. Its been lovely!

So, i have decided to put up some pictures. You may have to strain your neck to see them, maybe turn your lappy upside down sef, lol. My lappy and internet have conspired against me to do things differently. Shouldnt computers be able to read minds?!

Bubbly took that last one, he's a sucker for big bums. Told u u'll have to bend your head a lot eh?

I had really fanciful ideas for my 100th but this is the best I can do at the moment. If there are still questions, bring them on.

So this is wishing you all a very very wonderful xmas ahead. Dont know if I will post anything this year anymore, not so sure. But am on my way to collect my xmas package!

May this xmas be accident and sorrow free for you all.

May your joy be full this xmas.

And may the coming new year meet us all in peace.

Love you all!!!

Finally I met Myne Whitman!

2010-12-16T23:35:00.000-08:00

Yes i did!

I saw her last post just yesterday and found she was in town and at some Infusion program - readings, poetry, art, music...

Myne looked very pretty and it was nice meeting her - again. She read some excerpts from her book and she did it so gracefully. I was expecting her to be very americanized and you know, do serious phone but she didnt, unlike some people that I know. She was just her correct self and it was beautiful. Proud of you Myne. You were fan-bloody-tastic!

So finally I've got my own copy of A Heart to Mend and duly autographed, yippie!

Tried to take a picture of it and thats the best i got (again, the picture was to be inserted here but blogger decided to disobey me).

It was a nice evening, have never been to those book reading club thingis so it was a nice thing to see. It was nice to go fo something different, lots of bookies. Maybe I will go again...

There was this very funny lady, Lola, who anchored the program, she's quite funny. She kept talking about "deeping your hands into her warm bucket" i cant even explain, it was funny sha.

If there was a fellow blogger there, I didnt know.

Could have sworn my posts were already a 100 but blogger keeps telling me, 97 or 98. I think i will just count myself...

Today is my last day at work this year, yay!!! Some of the perks of being a civil servant I guess. Judges have to go on vac so if Oga no dey office.... figures. I hope to skip out on Tuesday to my folks and be back before the new year God's grace. Am dreading the trip though, Gwagwalada - Lokoja route has been a nightmare. Someone got to lag around 1.30am this morning after taking off around 8 am or so.

I'm not going to lag but I hope to leave early and beat the traffic.

If there's anything I pray to see in Nigeria, its not just good leadership, but for the train system to work again, life will be so much easier! Air fares will reduce, lots of cars will be off the road and you will get to your destinations faster. I really pray that very soon, that will work in Nigeria. If any presidential aspirant makes that one of his goals, gba, I shall not only vote for him but make sure I get him plenty votes too. I know what you are thinking, he might not do it right? Yeah, and we shall plot a coup to remove him, shikena!

I'm really really looking fwd to xmas and seeing my folks again. Mama Omotee has been enticing me with all the things she will cook for me and buy for me when I come, makes me feel like I was in boarding school again. Whenver I came home from school then, I will enter every room to see whats new and bury myself in mum's room last to see the new things she's got and inevitably, the things i will "borrow"or "steal". I still do that at almost 30 years old.

And something else I still do - I still collect öwo aso odun from Prof. Yep, i still do. I shall collect money for xmas cloth on the 23rd or 24th. He tells me each year that I am too old for that and I tell him each year that I am still his daughter and still entitled to that money. I still collect money for offering in church too (yeah LG and Ron, this is where u scream agbaya, na una know).

I'll go count my posts now and get to the 100th already, haba!

Tags and Special Invitation

2010-12-02T23:55:00.000-08:00

Hi Pipo!

How ya doing? I cant believe am doing a post now, its simply unbelievable esp seeing that I have a deadline and Oga Madam is going to have me for lunch/dinner if I dont deliver. Its not my fault jare, I'm in the holiday mood already.

So for want of a better post, here I am doing my tag. Myne tagged me. Some of those categories am not even sure what to say sef. but here goes:

5 Famous people I want to meet:

- John Legend

- Pastor Enoch Adeboye

- Babatunde Fashola
- Ellen Degeneres (and ask her why on earth she is lesbo)
- Will Smith

5 Books that affected you:

- The Bible
- Things Fall Apart by Chinua Achebe
- Half of a Yello Sun by Chimamanda Adichie
-

5 favorite movies (5 is very restrictive o!):

-Sound of Music
- The Family that Preys
- The Kingdom
- Pirates of the Carribean
- Shrek (all 3)

5 things you can't do without:

- My phones
- Food
- Money
- Music
- Books

5 turn ons

- Bubbly (oh yeah, turns me on badly!)
- Handsome, sexy, humble and polite men (am a sucker for fine boys)
- Intelligent conversations
- Rich sinful chocolate cakes
- Independence

5 turn offs:

- Rude and loud people
- Lying

So now I tag the following people

- Chacha
- Luscious Ron
-NittyGritty
- LG
- Sugar King

(Pls feel free to tag yourself and say Omotee did).

I know i should have gotten to my 100th like 100 days ago but am slowly getting there. This is my 99th. Would still love more questions, including the ridiculous ones (which shall get ridiculous answers).

I am trying to plan something nice and out of the ordinary for xmas. Somehow I dont have lots of friends anymore; they are either married and out of town or we're just too busy to keep in touch. Wish it could be better. SO am recruiting new friends now. I dont like being the kind of girl who hangs out with her boyfriend 24/7 so i need friends who arent as boring as I am.

Ok, so thats all I wanna say. Oh yeah, ok, I look VERY VERY HAWT today and I love the attention its giving me. You know I've got big bum and chest, my dress is just short and sexy and nice and I like it!
Does that make me vain? Dunno, whatevs mehn! Nice evening

PS:

This is inviting all you Abuja folks to my church (Commonwealth of Zion Assembly - COZA) for a special program.
Myles Munroe, Rev. Sam Adeyemi and Pastor Poju Oyemade are coming to speak.
Date: 12th December 2010 @ 9am. December 13th and 14th @ 6pm.
Venue: This Day Dome.

Would love to see you there (well, maybe not see you as I dont know you, lol).

Nice evening guys!

Thanksgiving, aso ebi, tailors etc

2010-11-25T02:31:00.000-08:00

Thanks for all the lovely comments on my last post, its kind to have people who care.
Chacha, thanks for the text, you are a darling.

Yesterday, I and one nice lady who gives me a ride to work were talking about tailors and aso ebis. The amount people ask to pay for aso ebis these days, na wa!
I mean, seriously, why 50k, 80k for aso ebi?! Is this me been too.... frugal?
My friend, who is married with 2 kids has this mummy figure in their church. The woman has really been good to them in lots of ways, you sha get it, she means a lot to them.
So mummy's son is getting married and the aso ebi is 70k and in lagos.
He has decided he isnt buying but his wife will buy, you know us Naijas with all those ties and how we feel indebted to people. So by the time he calculates the amount he will spend on flight, hotel accomodation, transportation within lag and aso ebi, you are talking about N200k. On one person's wedding! SHUO! We are not even talking gifts o. The guy is just a lawyer like me struggling to make ends meet and then he will throw 200k on a non-relative's wedding? Thats a tad too much and I so hold.
I like the idea of aso ebi but then, no be everybody wey u call come ur wedding get armed robber salary or be governor pikin. I tink people should embrain demsef abeg!

Speaking of aso ebi, its closely linked to tailors. E be like say d day wey dem do freedom for most tailors, dem swear for dem join.
To find a good tailor is not that hard. But from experience, i notice that once they sew about 5 cloths for you without too much dissappointment, the rest counting from 6 will be disastrous.
Take my Abraham for example, i gave him 2 materials for my friend's wedding, 2 months ahead of time with payment. Guy did not make my cloths o! He kept posting me. On the eve of the wedding (which was in ilorin), Abraham was neither in his shop nor had he made my cloth!
I did small were for him: I called him and said I will lock his apprentice up, break his shop and pack his machine and valuable customers cloths.
In short, he showed up and we had to carry him and his machine to my house to finish my cloth in my passage cos he didnt have light in his shop. He finished just one of them around 4am. And the trend goes on. I pray the new one will keep his sanity longer than Abraham.

Its thanksgiving, yay! Yeah right, like am in America. But i always love this period, it ushers in xmas. I feel chrismasy already.
There's so much to be thankful for. If i do a list, it will be very looooooooooooooooooooong! Just a few of the items on that list:

Journey mercies: You'll appreciate God more if you live in Naija and travel the Abuja-Lokoja route. Its a miracle everytime I pass thru that horrible road.
Job: Even tho my boss frustrates me a lot and make me cry, I still cant imagine life without a job.
Family: Love them, in spite of the little little annoyances here and there, its lovely to belong to a family.
Bubbly: Aww, what can I say...... He's God's personal sprinkle of sugar on my life.
Blog Family: Extra spice of life.
Friends: I believe so much in friendship and I've been blessed with good ones.

A whole lot more on that list, will take me the whole day.
God's been so kind. For all those little, big, known and unknown blessings bestowed on us. I am really really thankful.

So what are u grateful for this thanksgiving?

PS:

Still need the questions to answer for my 100th post. Keep them coming!

Today I let it all out... And it feels good

2010-11-23T06:18:00.000-08:00

I spent a better part of my working hours today in writing an epistle to my father...

If you've been frequent on this blog, you might have known a thing or two about my family. Basically, its not the normal kind of family. My parents try to co-exist under the same roof, they hardly talk and just try to stay out of each other's hair. But of course, if there are loads of scores to settle between two people, minding their own business cant be that easy; there's always going to be clashes.

I grew up knowing the situation between them to be rocky and I never really enjoyed a close and loving relationship with my Dad. He's loving in his own way but very difficult and intolerant. Lots of issues that I have chosen to get past.

So Monday morning I open my box to find an e-mail, actually an epistle from him. It was actually written to an Uncle and then he copied me. Going into the details will take me the whole day to explain.
Anyway, i took the opportunity to express emotions that have been bottled up inside of me all these years.
Somehow I have always wanted to but then I calculate what it might result into: the accussations, ensuing epistles, plenty talks, more hostility when I go home etc and just shove it aside. My mum thinks its me being scared but its not, its just me managing the situation the best I can. At least I dont have to see him or talk to him that often and am grown now, its not like he's gonna flog me or deny me school fees.

It took me a lot to forgive my Dad for some of the things I held against him. I hated him and then later I just simply made him irrelevant in my life.

But all that's changed now. God could have a lot of sins to hang over my head if He chose to but He doesnt so I ought to be able to forgive anyone. Even my Dad. Plus when you refuse to forgive someone who has wronged you, somehow, you empower them.

Now I love him and pray for him but dont get too close so we dont have issues.

But today, after lots of prodings and encouragement, I wrote that epistle and expressed myself, without being rude. I dont know what it will cause but I want to believe its the best thing to do.

Last week I and Bubbly had the biggest row ever, out of anger we considered breaking up. It was so scary but thank God we settled the issues and are back again.
I know I want a very successful and happy marriage, I dont want to go thru what my mother went thru or put my children in such difficult situations. I may not have emperical knowledge about marriage but I sure do know it can work if both parties determine to make it work, with the resolve to both give it the sacrifice and tolerance it needs.
I also know it takes very little and almost irrelevant issues to destroy a marriage that has all the potentials to work.
Sometimes I get scared and wonder if mine will go down that way too. But most of the time, I assure myself that it wont because I want it to work and Bubbly is not my father.

I am relieved I did that epistle today.

Abacha Barracks, 100th Post...

2010-11-18T04:34:00.000-08:00

silly silly silly image uploader, it did everything the wrong way!!!

I will explain in the post....

Ok peeps, wats good? wats really really good? How was Sallah? Please those of you wey suppose "post" us sallah ram make una no forget or else i will come knocking on your pages one by one.

Was a nice break, save for the cold/flu I had, I dont know how i managed to catch a cold again, its so annoying. Was sleeping and dozing and all the effects of cold and actifed just set in. Arrgghhh!!!!

In spite of the cold, tuesday evening was fun. Bubbly and I went out with this lovely family, young couple with their baby. They took us to Abacha barracks for some lovely roasted fish and chips.

That brings me to the pictures. The first is the AFTER while the second and third are actually the BEFORE states of the delicacy. It was WONDERFUL! Fish with pepper and onion sauce, potato chips and lime to taste, hmmm!!!!!

If you live in Abuja and havent been to Abacha barracks, you never chop life for Abuja o, lol.

They are well versed in the art of roasting fish in that place. Maybe I will go learn and get my own space. We shall name it Omotee's spot and you shall all patronize me ......hmm, nice idea

Managed to eat 2 pieces of fried ram yesterday, the cold is really dealing with me. I just hope my colleague wont catch it now, I've been sneezing and blowing on everything in sight today.

Just to share the Abacha Barracks experience with ya. Let me know when you're in town so we can enjoy some fish (yeah, we know who''s paying right?!) lol.

And oh!

If i am correct, this should be my 98th post and will make sure next week God's willing I reach my 100th post!

Its something to celebrate I guess, most people do. I am ignoring (and enjoin you also to ignore) the fact that I should have reached my 100th a long time ago. I stumbled on someone who has about 1900 or so posts and i was adequately dazed - 1000 posts!!!!!

I'm hoping it will be fun. So considering the fact that I have absolutely nothing to blog about in my 100th, except I get some sort of epiphany (imagine, I know someone whose name is Epiphany!) am going to do what most people seem to do - I will answer ANY and EVERY question you guys ask me. Ask me anything and I will answer.

Disclaimer:

While not refusing to answer any question, I reserve the right to answer the questions the way I want to, in other words, I am not confined into a YES OR NO format and for the purpose of that post, everything I say is true. At least, truth by Omotee's definition.

Tanks so ..... let the questions begin from your comments on this post!

I am excited already!!

PS:

I shall upload a picture of me. Yes I shall.

PEACE!

Yay!!! He has done me well!

2010-11-15T02:38:00.000-08:00

God is good
He has done me well
Oh my soul
Rise up and praise His name....

Make una sing with me o!

This testimony might look small to you but its BIG in my sight.

You know how house rent is in Abuja now, ok, just in case you dont know, its as if you work for your Landlord, at least for lots of people sha.
I try to save some of my salary every month in order to meet up for rent but somehow this year, there have been lots of expenses, trips etc and somehow it didnt look like i would be able to pay my rent on my own.
Things were not looking good outside too, at least from the people that can help. I just kept praying and hoping that something, a miracle will happen before the end of this month when my rent will be due.

I have this bad habit, when i have a need or a problem, i pray and trust God but i go ahead to make my own plan B which just sounds like: just in case God doesnt get up to it, i will save my ass somehow.
So i dumped that habit and God just surprised me.
This morning, i got some money and after paying my rent, i will have more!!!

I'm EXTREMELY happy and i just know this end will end on a good note.
And for you reading this post, something really wonderful will happen to you before the month runs out!

Have a great week yáll and for our muslim folks, happy sallah. Post my meat o!

My Boss is a ******!!!

2010-11-05T03:14:00.000-07:00

Happy New month people.

Its feeling christmasy already init? or is it just me?

About that title, hmmm, after this post/rant, you can put the appropriate word/phrase.

Last Saturday was one of the most annoying days of my life, literarily.
You know when something's not going nicely and there's not one thing u can do about it? yeah, thats how it was.

I'll give u a little background info. Bosslady is actually a family friend, so while the work is professional, there's lots of unprofessional duties assigned to me that i have to do, unfortunately so. I am a Legal Assistant, Personal Assistant, Registrar, Daughter and lots of other duties that i dont even know how to describe. And i cannot complain.
You know how in Nigeria, your merits arent the only thing to get a job, connections matter too. Thats how i got this job. Thats not to say i dont deserve the job or anything. And i dont get special favours or anything. She is bloody meticulous and my work, like everyone in our office is 2ce that of our counter-parts. Anyway, u get the idea, i no fit complain.

So in that vain, last friday she said we'll be going somewhere together on Saturday. Some occassion. I was to be at her house for 7am and i was. Amidst my cramps and all.
For the life of me, i could not have imagined we were travelling out of town - some village in Kogi state, 4 hours trip!!!! As in, it did not tally with my saturday plans at all. i imagined at worse i'll be done with her by 4pm max. I must have been dreaming a very silly dream.

I was mad, angry, livid (same meaning i guess). I yelled and ranted and raved at her. In the confines and comfort of my mind of course. That was just bloody unfair. She had no reason, absolutely none to not tell me where we were going. Haba! I am a frigging adult and that does not come within my scope of duties.
She has this thing of being Jamesbondish with her routine - she doesnt really tell people she's travelling or where she's going - I get it and i honestly dont mind. As long as am not going with her. But in this case, I was in the picture, i damn well deserved to know I was going out of town.
I know there must be some reason for it, I just dont know what yet.

So, typical me, i ranted a bit to Bubbly, swallowed my anger and just tried to enjoy the trip. Read and slept. It was someone's 80th birthday. We took off around 4pm and didnt get back to Abuja around 9.30 pmish. Traffic at Kwali and Gwags.
Another shocker - We didnt eat! Yep. My stomach was empty save for some stupid digestive biscuits we had on our way back. I had to eat it cos i had to take cataflan for my cramps.
I know and pray and have faith that that kind of day will never come back again. It was just wrong.

Bubbly was so mad. He's been mad at her for a while now but thats a different book entirely.....Some political/family issues......

He is asking me to consider another job but i believe when its time for me to leave, i will leave, not just bcos my Boss is a ...... feel free to fill in the gap.
There's a reason i took this job, and i considered that it might not be easy. Until that reason is fulfilled, am not letting anyone frustrate me out of it. Not even boss lady.

Enough rants already - Phew! Good thing i let that out eventually.

So this is wishing y'all a nice wknd thats free of crap and crappy people.

PS:
Dont forget to title my post!

Ciao!

Birthday Wishes

2010-10-26T01:22:00.000-07:00

Happy Birthday to Myne Whitman

Pray that today, the good Lord will grant all your heart desires and make you truly happy.

Pray your path will keep shinning brighter and brighter.

Cant send your birthday gift so here's your cake:

Hope you like it?

Have a blast!

MWAH!

2010-10-07T07:52:00.000-07:00

Happy Independence.

I went to the Independence Towers in Abuja to watch the fireworks on 31st Sept. It was lots of fun amidst shouts of "waoh" with the beautiful fireworks. The fireworks were really really..... awesome! At least we saw part of the 10 billion. It was also very emotional, u had to see the way people were singing the anthem, for me and most people there, it went beyond having fun, it was some kind of patriotism and loyalty, at least for that moment.

Unfortunately, evil people didnt let this happy moment linger for long....

Friday morning i went to the office just to get some work done. I actually contemplated leaving early to drive around and see whats happening around Eagles Square, thank God i didnt.
I was at work when the bomb blasts happened. From my window at work u can see Hilton and some other places quite well so i heard the blast and saw the smoke. Somehow i thot they were gun salutes or canon balls being fired in celebration. Bomb blast did not occur to me at all.

I have heard so many theories as to who might have done it and what the purpose was. What sick statement could whoever did it was trying to make? This might sound crazy but if you have to blow anyone up, why didnt u just kill the people that mattered? The bombs killed innocent people who have no say in what goes on in this country - election wise, power wise or whatever. So what was the frigging point?!!!
I think it was just sick - regardless of who dunnit - to do that kind of thing on independence day. Inglorious Basterds!!

More annoying were the events and statements that followed: How SSS actually got a warning that such a thing was going to happen and still did nothing about it. How MEND claimed responsibility and then denied it afterwards etc

Most annoying were the road blocking that security operatives engaged themselves in afterwards, causing unnecessary traffic all over the place. We come begin dey use panadol after death, to cure wetin me i no know o! they were busy doing "Ground Zero" and "Gathering forensic evidence" that nobody will hear anything out of it.
The evidence, the perpetrators and all related facts will circulate in newspapers for a few days, AIT and Channels go talk talk without any credible answer and that will be the end of it, the story will die a natural death, as usual.
Road safety and VIO con begin dey ask everybody "where are u going and what are u going to do" in broad day light like say pesin wey carry bomb go dey so stupid so tay road safety and VIO go catch am. Shio!!!

I pray God should reveal those evil men somehow and punish them. I pray that He will console the families of those that died meaningless deaths. I pray for healing for those receiving treatment.
I pray that that God will heal this country somehow, I know it can be done..... somehow.......

Best Break-Up Method

2010-09-17T09:29:00.000-07:00

I appreciate all the advice you guys gave in my last post. Thanks. Hopefully, this matter has been laid to rest.

I had this discussion with some of my friends, all male on the best way to break up with your girlfriend.
I was of the opinion that the particular method does not really matter, pesin wey no dey do no dey do, u no fit force am.
I've always thot waiting for a guy to develop courage or time or whatever to tell you to your face that its over is like hoping for something that may not happen.
Personally, i have not met many guys who would prefer to break up with u face to face. The ones i know are the usual cowards (no offense) who would expect you to read the signs and move on.

Out of the 3 or 4 boyfriends (sometimes i get confused as to the correct number) that i've ever had, only one seemed to be bold enough to say he needed a break for a little while to "get himself together". The other ones pretty much used the "sign language" to break up with me.
What i've tagged "Sign language" usually occurs in the following stages:

- you always call him, he hardly ever calls anymore
- he is always so busy he hardly has time to pick your calls
- when he does pick your call, he apologises and asks that you pls let him call you back which he never gets round to doing for say.... 3 days
- he avoids every kind of meeting where you'll ask him what exactly is going on
-if you are lucky to find him at home or anywhere, he will make sure the environment is not condusive for such talks or he falls ill. Either ways, no discussion takes place

I know most girls prefer that a guy breaks-up with them face to face. Usually so they can have "Closure". Why this method is prefered, i really dont understand. I am not sure I like the face to face method.

I believe you should start suspecting something is really wrong when you get to stage 2. At that point, really, the game is over and waiting for him to tell you to ur face that its over is not really paramount. But hey, thats just omotee.

So the real question is, would you rather a guy broke up with you over the phone or via text message or via e-mail or giving signs or do it face to face?
Whats the best break-up method?

EX Files Concluded... At least for now.......

2010-09-15T08:05:00.000-07:00

Thanks everyone for ur contributions, they were all worth it.

So that same day, we had another lengthy argument on the whole Ex issue and again, for the upteenth time stated the reasons why i have serious issues with this particular ex.
So for a reason that i still have not been able to comprehend up till this moment, the girl called me. Yes, she did!

She called and introduced her self as "My name is Sisi" and of cos i went "Sisi who?"
"Sisi, Bubbly's friend".
"Oh, hi. How are u?"
"Am fine. And u?"
"Am fine thank u."
"So how are u and how the wedding preparations?"

What?! HEllo!!!

At that point i went totally blank, like, really, how da hell am i supposed to answer that? Whose brilliant idea was it for her to call me? Wedding preps bi ti bawo?
I told her i was in the midst of something and could she kindly call me back in 5 mins.
During that time, i calmed down so i would not react in a way i will later regret, get myself together.

So 5 mins later, she calls back and said:
"Am sorry for whatever issues i may have caused between you and Bubbly. Its just that I and Bubbly have been friends for so long and its strictly platonic. I want to assure you that I have no plans that will jeopardise your relationship in anyway. I am a woman also and wont want anyone to do that to me so i cant do it to someone else. He told me long ago that he loves you and will be with you, he always talks about you. Am sorry."

Calmly i said:
"Thanks Sisi. Kind of you but am just wondering, what brought about all these?" She said:
"Well i was chatting with Bubbly and he was asking me all these wierd questions and stuff. So i asked him to give me your phone number so i can talk to you."
"I see. Thanks then. Appreciate your call. Take care now."
"Bye".

Again i wondered, whose bright idea was this?!?!

So i had a chat with Bubbly and told him in unequivocal terms that I have no issues whatsoever with Sisi so the phone call was unnecessary, i mean, was she informing me about their friendship or seeking for an approval or what? He must have thot it was a good idea.

Anyway, the conclusion we seem to have reached now (at least both of them), conversations cut off as from that day. I sincerely dont know if they still chat or call or text and i dont think i want to be doing any 007 stunts on top this matter. i guess thats all i can do for now. Abi how i for do now?

The Ex Files (Part II)

2010-09-07T08:52:00.000-07:00

I'll just spill it out.

When it comes to exes, i (and this is strictly my opinion) believe friendship with exes are a no no. The only situations i think it could be permissible is when both parties have moved on in every definition of that phrase:
1. u r not hung up, crying and wishing he/she would come back;
2. u r not refusing to date someone cos u keep comparing them to ur ex;
3. u r not busy plotting (either physically or mentally) evil things that u wish would happen to ur ex;
4. u r not under some delusion that you are just friends while you make sure you have everything u used to have with him while u were still a couple

You have moved on when u have faced reality and picked up pieces of your life with a strong determination to let life go on in spite of the little or big hitches it brings ur way, its called life afterall.
Sure break ups occur in different forms, some more hurtful and hard to get over than the other. Also, every individual's strength is unique, some get over things fast and some dont.
But there's always the same conclusion: you do have to move on. A deliberate refusal to accept status quo is just unrealistic and somewhat silly.
Anyway, all these is just Omotee's opinion.

I'm not sure what word to use in describing what i feel about this ex issue: anger, concern, pity, beefs .... i have no idea. i just know it pisses me off sometimes sha.

Bubbly has this Ex and their "friendship" gives me concern. First i must tell u that i trust Bubbly to a reasonable extent, i love him like crazy and i trust him. however, i dont know how to pretend that some issues dont exist.
Bubbly was dating this girl and they broke off before we started dating. They were very close friends before they started dating and it went on for about 2 years or so.
Anyway, for some reasons they broke up, they both werent operating on the same frequency anymore plus she wanted to settle abroad and he wanted to come home and settle. etc

So they broke up. He moved on (i really really wanna believe). She has found it hard to move on even after he told her he has someone else etc She keeps calling to ask for his advice on EVERYTHING. what to do with her career, what to do when her mum annoys her, whether to date some guy who's been asking her out for a while, how to go about her NYSC, what business should she go into. etc EVERYTHING! I dont know what other stuff they discuss - maybe he wont tell me cos he knows how i feel about it.
And oh, she is back in Nigeria cos she was hoping he would change his mind.

When i discovered this (by going thru his fone, not snooping tho, scold me later), i asked Bubbly and he just felt it was ok for them to still be friends, he wants to "let her down gently" kind of thing. i was like: WTH?!?!
he still has some soft spot for her (i think i should have all the soft spots!) so he finds it hard to turn her away. at some point they were talking a lot during those mid night calls. i decided not to be cool about it and just said everything i felt about it: ITS NOT HAPPENING DUDE!

Why should your ex boyfriend who has left you and has moved on with someone else be ur next best friend and confidante? he keeps saying she finds it hard to get to trust people and make friends and she isnt close to her sisters and mother etc.

Truth is i dont hate the girl and i really wish i was her friend, it would have been a lot easier for me to drum some sense into her, she needs tough love not "soft landing".

Bubbly has promised me that nothing funny is ever going to happen but this isnt safe or wise for either of them, i am the only one for him etc. but i just dont feel comfortable or is this me being paranoid?

I made my feelings known, we argued over it a coupla times and i hate it when i complain or do anything that resembles nagging. i pride myself as someone who has it together (i pull everything about me together). i told him i was going to keep off it but if i smell a rat - there'll be trouble.
He has begged me to just let him handle things (its not like i will call her or anything) and i want to trust his judgment but just yesterday, i found out that they havent had the "talk" cos he is busy trying to help her register a business name for her; meaning: they have discussed and have come to a conclusion.
My ex whom i really loved and wished things would happen btw us but has moved on with someone he is planning to wed very soon is not going to be the only lawyer or friend who can see me thru every issue i have.

Ok. Quite a rant. I need ur undiluted and uncensored view on this.

Wedding Dress: Rent or Buy?

2010-08-27T07:02:00.000-07:00

Am back!

Not like i really left though.
First i must thank Miss Nitty Gritty for checking up on me, really kind of you, thanks.

I've been on leave partially. Partially cos am supposed to be off work for the whole of August but i kinda resumed this week cos I abandoned some work and its time to get back to them before boss lady resumes.

I've had some fun. Went home for my friend's wedding with Bubbly, it was so much fun. you know yours truly likes to parry!

So this thing with Bubbly is actually very very serious now, intentions have been revealed, families have been involved and some serious plannings will soon be starting.
Its a lovely and extremely scary feeling at the same time! Relationships are so much fun until things get really serious and then u have lots of thinking and planning and compromising etc
Sometimes i want to bring out my pen and start planning, listing all those things i've dreamed about my wedding and building a home and after some thot i just get scared and close my book and mind.
Maybe i just have to grow up. Anyway, it will be sorted out one way or the other.

On that note, need ur opinion as usual on this:
WOuld you rent a wedding gown? I know its just ideal to get your own wedding dress but really, i think they are of sentimental value only, its virtually useless after that day so why buy and keep?
What do u think?

Lovely weekend y'all

2010-07-21T01:21:00.000-07:00

Quick one guys:

Asides Obudu Cattle Ranch, where else can u have a nice vacation in Nigeria? Or a nice tourist spot?

Need u on this guys.

thanks

The EX files

2010-07-07T01:57:00.000-07:00

I sort of absconded for a while, the usual excuse of work, life etc am tired of repeating the excuses. I'm sure i have missed a lot. There was so much to write but somehow, i just could not. My muse went on strike i guess, lol.
Guess y'all been good? Chacha, thanks so much for asking after me, was so kind of you.

Lately due to some happenings and gists, there's been this thing on my mind and i'd like you all to give me your opinions on it. Its an over flogged issue i know but i still want to know what the general concensus is.

Its the case of the EX.

Is it permissible/right/ok to still be friends with an Ex?

When should your boyfriend's/girlfriend's/husband's/wife's friendship with an EX begin to bother you or when should you raise an alarm?

Where do we draw the line (if you believe friendship with an Ex is ok) or express concern when the Ex begins to feature a lot in the picture? Is it just silly jealousy or an actual issue.

long ass comments are welcome.

PS:
have a wonderful July

Rich Kids and School Fees

2010-06-02T08:03:00.000-07:00

I dont have an apt title for this rant but I know what am saying.

A friend was gisting me the amount a secondary school, one of those international wannabes charge for a session for a JS1 kid. Pls guess? Anyone? N1.4 million (one million, four hundred thousand Naira) for a JS 1 child! An SS1 student just joining the school has to pay N1.6 million. Yep, u heard me. for a session!!!!

Ok, so am not a rich kid, never have been so the idea is CRAZY to me. So, does anyone agree with me that this is some kind of madness????!!!

We can say, well, thats for rich kids now. i will tell u. my friend, a fellow lawyer like me (pls be informed, practising lawyers in abuja generally earn peanuts) enrolled his 1 yr old kid for kindgergaten. pls note, all they do is teach them a few songs and make them sleep. they paid about a 100k for that child and no, thats not been outrageous, thats one of the fair prices u can get.

The secondary school thing is particularly annoying bcos its not like angels or professors teach these kids, normal people do. except u count one of those few oyinbos that circumstance bring them here to come and teach as extraordinary. i do not also think the ACs in their class rooms and cyber cafes are extraordinary factors too that warrant the charge of such exhorbitant prices.

For some parents, its not so much about their wish to get the best education for their kids, its about their own status and pride so they can say: "my kid attends such and such school, its very expensive".
i was reading the first edition of Flair, formerly TrueLove and there was this article about parents using the school their kids attend to show that they've got "Class". Those housewives dress to the teeth just to go and drop their kids and go back home o. But i digress....

Just before u go off thinking, "Omotee, u r saying this bcos u dont have that kind of money now or u r just beefing the rich". Not exactly. Of cos i pray and hope to be rich too. But its not necessarily for N1.4m school fees and thats not me not caring about my kids education.
However, am just worried about other people who will never be that rich and will never be able to afford that kind of fees.

The idea of public school is gradually dissappearing, everyone think its for the very poor people so everyone either has their own school or attends the Rich school or flies abroad. Truth is, we all wish to study above but we all shall not be able to do that. We all cannot be able to afford to pay N1.4 mill per session for our kids.
Federal Govt Colleges used to be the best schools then, but now? Nobody wants to send their kids there so the standards have dropped, they are practically abandoned. Its all about private schools now. But the truth is, not everyone can attend a private school.

I ask again, is it such a terrible idea to resuscitate public schools?

I saw a documentary on Rivers state and saw that the Governor is building a big public school, has all the good plans and ideas for the school. If the idea for the school becomes a reality, with all i heard, nobody will be under tremendous pressure to send their kids to public schools bcos all the ACs and nice structures and good teachers in the private schools are also in the public schools.

If this trend goes on without a solution, its gonna be sad.
All schools will gradually become private. Public schools will remain in the village.
It will be said cos the rich kids and poor kids will all grow up and be in the same society.
Rich kid attends great school, becomes a good child, gets good job, gets rich and buy great expensive things just to make life comfortable.
Poor kid attends bad school or no school, never finds a job at all, has no money to even eat.

Here's where they all meet:
Poor kid becomes armed robber or militant and robs or kidnaps rich kid. in an unlucky situation, poor kid kills rich kid.

The world is a complete circle; we all still meet somehow.

So, is it just me or this is an actual issue?

Inspirational Quotes to crack you up!

2010-05-19T06:52:00.000-07:00

1. Dont drink and drive,
you may hit a bump and spill your drink.

this is just crazy, could not stop laughing when i saw it. u can die but not spill ur drink!

2. He calls me bitch like its a bad thing.

really, i've stopped feeling bad about anybody calling me 'ashawo', before nko? whoever wants to insult me should be innovative (and recieve an innovative bitch slapping)

3. Never under-estimate the power of foolish people in a large crowd.

right on point!

4. Ever since i stopped drinking, i have been thirsty.

mscheww, continue now....shayo master!

5. Well mannered women never made it in history.

mother theresa, joan of arc etc, they must have been kinda bad right? we just didnt know

6. Chocolate, Coffee, Men: some things are just best rich!

i loooooooove this, its on my fridge, and its so on point!

Ok, i am not as jobless as i act or look, i have simply refused to do my work at this moment, court rose some minutes ago. Oga has put us under tremendous pressure since last week so i have decided not to kill myself o jare.
I love those quotes, wish i could be very daring to put them stickers on my car when i finally have one but i know already that i cannot do it.

So whats the craziest sticker on ur car, door, anything? how daring and crazy are u?

Where is LG?? And MDM?

2010-05-17T04:44:00.000-07:00

Hi loves!

This aint a real post.

Where is LG (Lady Guide)?? the girl has dissappeared, like lots of people. Anyone knows her? Just concerned.
And MDM (Miss Definitely Maybe; My Mother's Child). Anyone who has news, pls lets know. Know nothing is wrong with them, just concerned.

Blog Awards:

Tried to nominate, think its the hardest thing (asides doing my actual job), there are a zillion bloggers and a million ones that deserve awards. will see.

have a great week everyone!

Manners - do people still have it?!

2010-05-13T06:38:00.000-07:00

I've been meaning to do a post on something else entirelyand earlier this week but trust the Boss lady, she has found a way of keeping me gainfully employed this week. Plus, typing right now aint no fun -

I am a very fast and furious typist, as in, i type so fast my keyboards smoke, ok, not exactly but u get the point, am very fast. Prof made sure i started learning it right from primary 6, paid off cos i've always been a lawyer/secretary.

So, last weekend, i went to go and fix my nails. I never do that but i saw some girl's own and it looked really nice, always wanted to do it, decided to try it (thats the 2nd time in all my life).
as expected, everyone thot it looked nice, my fingers were heavier and felt akward. i found it difficult to do my normal stuff like ..... u know.

to type - na wahala. as in, see ur sister, it was hard. Jenifa for do better pass me sef. its like a village girl wearing 6 inch high heels for the first time, omo, e no funny!
i concluded by asking myself "WHO SEND ME MESSAGE O?" so am pulling them out tomorow, abegi!

i digress. to the message of the day....

when people hear manners, ettiquettes, respect etc, what exactly goes thru their mind?

this guy added me on facebook like a zillion times, kept refusing but found we grew up in the same town and attend same church, so out of courtesy (or so i thot) i accepted. he keeps trying to chat, i always ignore. so today out of the magnanimity of my heart, i responded to his chat. hi, hello, wassup etc he went:

boy: so i guess u r married right? u look like u r married

me: oh, married people have looks now? how do they look?

boy: yes now. you are fat and u look matured.

(in my head, bells went off)

me: XCUSE ME?! did u just call me FAT?!

boy: yes now, i know what i see.

that was it. i practically went off the hook and delivered a lecture.

u dont just call people fat, its rude. least of all to a lady, least of all to someone who is not particularly your friend, u dont go about telling them they are fat. u keep ur personal opinions of them to yourself until you have the kind of relationship that allows u to say stuff like that. of cos u and i are not going to get to that point where u call me fat............. etc

he said sorry o, he didnt mean it. i just couldnt be bothered, i told him everything i had to tell him and went off. am gonna delete him.

ok, maybe what he did wasnt that much, it was just to serve as some deterence. this kind of boy goes scott free and next he's going to say my boobs look sexy, i mean, really! he's probably paying for some other peoples sins of rudeness.

thats how someone posted a pic of me at salsa on her facebook page sometime ago, and a guy i've known for long and whom we had no love lost btw us decided to comment and say -

"how omotee wey fat like this go fit dance salsa?"

my other friends on the page immediately told him how wrong it was of him to say that and how he shd wait and hear from me. i replied there and sent a strongly worded msg to him of how it was extremely rude of him to call me fat on facebook and how it wasnt his biz wax if i could dance or not no matter how fat. he damaged an already akward relationship. he apologised but hey, he entered the list of mannerless folks.

i think its important that poeople should know what to say to whom and where. u dont go slapping the butts of someone u r not dating or have a close relationship with (yep, know a guy who did that to a friend).
or a lawyer i saw in court who wanted to get friendly and after greeting me goes "so whats that your number na?" i can cite a zillion examples. some people are just rude!
its important that people should know how to talk and address people. manners is not just kneeling and prostrating for elderly people or pretending like you dont talk in their presence.

anyway, i have 4 files to work on and just heard one is to be handed in on saturday, gotta go now!
may your days be free from mannerless twarts!!

2010-04-29T09:03:00.000-07:00

Now this is the kind of thing a mother sees and shouts CHIMMM OOOO!!!!!!!
i know say na pikin but abeg, wetin d little nigger dey think?!?!?
Plus the snr nigga who took the picture, maybe na film sha and na director say make im try am, or what could be responsible for this madness ehn?!?!

Anyway, my post really isnt about the boy who was about to destroy the very essence of his being as a man, its just something i thot would crack u up a bit.

1. I love rainy saturday mornings in august, the type where the rain would just not stop and am jobless. curl up in bed with a nice novel and soft music, its my definition of tranquility.

2. I love dressing up and looking good. It may not happen always but i love the confidence that comes with you knowing u look good even b4 anyone comments on how nice u look. I love everything that comes with looking good, jewelries, nice cloths, shoes etc anything (very vain abi?)

3. I love cakes. every kind of lovely cakes. esp the ones that have chocs and fruits. a nicely done sinful choc cake gives me an orgasmic feeling. its just...... great!!!

4. I love cute bathrooms. anytime i go thru catalogues, i just dream of how nice i'd love my bathroom to be, with scented candles all over the place.

5. I love music. i have an eclectic taste. i love everything except hard rock and rap. i can tolerate some rap but never hard rock. good music lifts my soul all the time.

6. I love cooking. Yes. the idea of turning everything available into some tasty and beautiful looking meals make me very happy.

7. I so love having people around me. like hanging out with lots of friends, inviting people over and just generally having fun. i love people (like anyone doesnt) i love doing anything that will make someone happy. its fulfilling.

8. I love apples. If i there's the chance, I could eat 8 large apples in a day.

9. Now the strange and weird one: I love to pee. I love peeing after holding it for a while, i love the relief that comes with it and the way it just makes my tummy go dooooooooowwwwwwwwwwnnnn. strange eh?

10.I love blogging. doing blog rounds, dropping comments and all. It makes my ordinary life much more fun.

so far, what do we have in common?

(i didnt think people shd be categorised as things so i didnt mention pple i love. plus that would be a whole book!)

I tag everyone that loves to do a tag.

nice weekend ahead

Thank You

2010-04-26T03:04:00.000-07:00

Hulloz!

First off i have to apologise that i have not thanked you all for the messages and calls for my birthday, the usual excuse, WORK and no internet last week!
i really really appreciated it, God bless y'all!

My birthday was low key but quite good day. its so nice when people remember ur birthday, dont mind me, i get excited about little stuff like that. so i was all smiles that day with aching cheeks to show for it, but it was pleasant having the aching cheeks.
Later in the evening, i hung out with a few friends and some of Bubbly's friends too. just had suya and drinks, gisting laughing and making sure nobody was sitting too close to my very beautiful and sexy 17 yr old cousin. the girl is fine and Bubbly's friends were trying to get close. i'll be some strict mummy abi? i think so too!

oh and the gifts, u know i love, gifts, who doesnt. i got lovely stuff from my friends. still got gifts till last saturday sef. Bubbly's folks got me gifts too, aint i just blessed.
Thanks Bubbly for making my life so beautiful, u're simply wonderful!

have a nice week everyone, may good and special things happen to you this wonderful week.

28th

2010-04-14T01:29:00.000-07:00

I'm here to say how much I love you

(Cos you love me unconditionally)

I'm here to say how much I adore you

(You're too kind and wonderful to me)

Lord am not here to complain, about my many problems

(They are there, almost overwhelming but hey, am alive, there's hope)

By your spirit and ur Grace, am confident u'll solve them

(You live and so I can face tommorow)

I'm here to say I love you.....

I love to love you Lord

....Thank you for your unconditional love!!!

(That was me getting emotional and spiritual)

Thank you everyone for your text messages and (missed) calls. I am so grateful. I feel so loved right now.

I shall be back to give you full details. Have a great day y'all!

My Birthday, the Number, Cramps, Clinics etc

2010-04-13T03:09:00.000-07:00

I am as disturbed as the title, just ignore it, its the cramps.

Imagine, i've got the horrible cramps again, they just wont go away would they? its threatening to spoil my day as am grovelling, crouching and wincing in pain. this curse of being a woman! maybe i'll go get knocked up - wait, that leads to labour right?? OH HELL!!! (how apt that am listening to "No Woman No Cry)

so i go to the clinic and trust civil service, it took me several minutes to get to see the doc finally, stupid protocols that have to be adhered to even if the patient is dying. whats it with clinics and nurses anyway? they just have to give u silly attitudes, i was extremely pissed.

thankfully the doc is a kind woman and prescribed drugs and then it took the nurse/pharmacist another 15 mins to get me the frigging drugs, an elderly woman who i'd have liked but instead, she started giving me funny attitude too, i wonder if they think people just like to come and visit the clinic and see what it looks like. she was busy laughing and chatting with some other lady. right that moment, i wished i was the CR so i can yell and transfer the pains to her and then issue her a query. finally, i got my drugs and left.

then the guy i asked to bring my breakfast took another one long hour (maybe not that long sha) and i was told to eat well before i take the drugs. EVERYONE is just trying to complicate my mood!

ok, cramps mess my days up so am just having a bad day. guess the pill is kicking in now.
again i ask, must i have cramps?!
better the cramps today than tommorow cos aint nothing stopping me from eating choc cakes tommorow.

so as promised in previous post, my number is 08035837027. would love to hear from u tommorow

have a cramp and annoying-people free day y'all!

Describing the process of SEX

2010-04-08T02:22:00.000-07:00

Never mind the title, its just some crazy stuff i heard in Dr. House Season I by that girl....cant remember her name now (yeah i just caught the house bug all these while). There's this part where she was explaining what the body goes thru during sex:

"Pupils dilate, arteries constrict.
Core temperature rises, heart races, blood pressure skyrockets, respiration becomes rapid and shallow.
The brain fires bursts of electrical impulses from nowhere to nowhere.
Secretions spit out of every gland and the muscles tense and spasm like you're lifting 3 times your body weight.
Its violent, its ugly and its messy"

WTH?!! thats some crazy description!!!!

Hope u had a great easter?

Mine was.....
Prof (thats my father) summoned us to come home for thanksgiving on Sunday. i really didnt want to go but i had no choice. it was extremely hot and i was sweating like a xmas goat! Sunday was kinda fun sha. We all (Prof, mum, my lil brother and me) had to sit in the front row and wearing "anko" (same kind of materia) which is something we NEVER do. my brother and i DO NOT as a rule sit in front of the church, or sit together or wear the same cloth for any reason. i think the last time we did the anko thing was during gran's burial. i sit in the last row with my friends and do everything but listen to the sermon, ushers always have issues with us. that was a long time tho and we've changed. so u can imagine how uncomfortable it was sitting in front and greeting EVERYBODY in church, my cheeks were sore. and afterwards i had to start answering the most popular question "When are we coming to eat rice" or "When are u bringing him" or "Do quick o, time is going o" which just annoys me. I answer them "Lets go buy a husband when u discover a mall that sells good ones". ok, not exactly, i only answer them in my mind amidst very fake smiles. its tres annoying!

we had a reception in the house after church and there were lots of folks from church. Prof invited everybody against the 150 or so people he told my mum. it made me realise one thing: i really love parties when we are not the ones hosting the guests, its more fun that way dont u think?

anyway, it was ok, i invited all my friends (trust me) and there was lots of gisting, laughing and drinks and cake (they came late so no food for them, lol). i realised in spite of the stress that it really is fun to be home again. it always is.
it would be better if telepathy can really work tho, the only aspect of traveling that i like is closing my eyes and getting to my destination without going on the road or in the air, its stressful on the road and its scary in the air. all in all it wasnt bad. i returned on monday to come see my beloved Bubbly. looking fwd to the next holiday.

my birthday is next wednesday, 14th april. i shall be 28. i don old o! i have license to eat the most sinful choc cake on that day with a large cup of ice cream, its my birthday now! like sugarking, i shall be doing something daring, i'd love to get a text msg or phone call from my blog family. i'll drop the number on wednesday.

i spoke to sugarking!!! he's absolutely cooooooooolllllllll and funny! thats the first blogger i will speak to except for those that i've known before. it was nice.
have a nice day y'all!

PHOTO SHOOT

2010-03-29T02:50:00.000-07:00

halloz!!! hope u had a great weekend?
am jobless so i thot to bore u with some pictures, what do u think?

1. really, granny, what is this? maybe she has 'mad cow disease".

2.WTH????!!!!!! where im dey go?

3. umm, for real? which is she trying to keep in shape? will the gym help?

4. waoh! happy birthday?

5. big reason

6. the sign reads " da ile si ibi yi ki o s'oriburuku tabi ki o s'ofo tomotomo ninu odun yi"

which means "dump refuse here and (literarily) have a bad head (and be cursed with bad luck) or perish together with your children this year.

guess the conventional DO NOT DUMP REFUSE HERE did not work, this sure worked!

7. desperate measures for desperate yahoo yahoo boy! i am trying to imagine what he is saying "oya, send the money now now!"

have a great day people!

From Happily Married to DIVORCED

2010-03-26T02:57:00.000-07:00

I know am not allowed to talk about my job, like our cases, but then am not their lawyer so technically, the lawyer/client priviledge isnt my biz now.

so its about a divorce case, i really do feel bad seeing divorce cases. makes me wonder why 2 people who loved themselves enough to tied the knot just throw it all away at some point, its especially bad when they are a young couple.

this lady came in heavily pregnant last december when she just filed the suit. she's got a kid for dude before, so she wants a divorce and naturally, her papers contain all the nasty things he's done to her and how he kicked her out, pregnancy et al.
dude gets a lawyer too and he also talked about how irresponsible she is, how she's got a controlling mother who is equally mannerless and a sister who leads a really wayward life.

one of his complaints is that he told the girl before they married that she had to quit her job at the bank. dude happens to be a business man who doesnt have much education. he says the mother-in-law keeps encouraging her to continue the job at the bank against his wishes and their agreement. etc. wish u could read the papers yourselves and see just how messy things can get between couples.
i wish i could call them to order and think of their 2 babies before doing this but who am i to say anything? i am a single girl, dont think i know that much about how marriage works, it still amazes me.

all these just got me thinking: if they had these much problems and serious issues, how da hell did they end up getting married and knocking themselves up to result to 2 kids?!
the girl is so pretty and young and u could see she really looks frustrated, she was crying the first time she came to court when her stupid lawyer was messing up her case and she was trying to get custody of their first kid, pending the divorce suit itself though. i couldnt help looking at her and pitying her.

i kept wondering what they were saying and doing while they were courting, didnt they resolve these obvious serious issues? if she truly agreed to quit her work at the bank why is she backing out on it? and is dude having these issues cos he is suddenly intimidated of her success and how much money she could make out of it?

when 2 people say they love each other so much and agree to mix oil and water (marry), why cant they settle whatever issues come their way? of cos there are lots of examples around us of how bad marriages can end up.
on a personal note, my parents tho not divorced dont have a good marriage, in fact, in ways that matter, they are divorced but still living together. they hardly talk and dont even care enough to fight anymore. this has been on for about ......... 20 years? sure it got worse over the years but its always been rocky. i've intervened and sort of lost hope on them, i think i just wanna ask my pop one day: if my mom dies one day, will he start crying and give speeches about how much he loved her? i think am gonna shut him up or just burst out laughing, that would be a joke.
did they love each other at all?

while i was in secondary school, i had a friend whose parents too had problems, were not divorced but theirs was equally terrible. they are separated. they came separately to visit her one day and didnt as much as say hello to each other, after 5 kids! how on earth did they get there?

i am not married so i dont know how to answer these questions. it makes me wonder when i do get married:
will we wake up one day and hate each other so much we want to get divorced?
will we have issues so bad i wouldnt care what happens to him and vice versa?
what if we have problems and am willing to sort it out and one day he just decides, no, he doesnt want to settle it, he just wants a divorce, what will i do?
do i have the ability to stay married forever?

am going to be 28 next month so naturally, everyone (including me) expects that i should be married or at least, be preparing serious towards it.
with all these things, what i have seen personally, i'm just scared of the idea of marriage when i think about the nitty gritty of it.
dont get me wrong, i do want to marry. i want to have a companion and be someone's help-meet. i want to have beautiful kids that i can train up one day. i want to have my family. the idea of me getting married appeals to me and its not just about the marriage ceremony.

but in spite of all these, i am scared of marriage. its really scary. there's not guarantee that this is how my marriage will turn out, that i will be forever happy with my husband. no certainties, just hopes and wishes and faith that it will turn out well. thats it. looks like a thin thread.

i and Bubbly had a big row on tuesday and we settled it all yesterday. it was a small issue that blew up into something else cos normally, we dont go to sleep without talking about whatever's bothering us, thats the rule. and somewhere in my mind yesterday before we settled it, i just got tired and thot i'd just quit.
i dont know why and how my mind entertained that thot cos i really love Bubbly. he actually said he thinks deep down i am scared of commitment. sure i argued that no, i dont. but maybe i do?
its all so scary. will i just easily give up on my marriage when problems come, cos i know they will come?

am i the only 28 year old female thinking this way?

these folks, are the thots in my mind this friday morning and i thot to share it with the one people who'd listen. getting pretty personal eh?

for those of u who have braved it and married (mrs. sydelle, enkay), i salute ur courage and pray that u'll never ever get divorced, no matter what.
for those of u who havent, pray u find the courage. i heard (and have also seen) that it does work out and marriage is truly a beautiful thing.

of course i'd love to hear ur thots.

have a great weekend y'all!

2010-03-19T05:32:00.000-07:00

Hulloz!

I can imagine all i've missed, been doing blog rounds. the internet went AWOL on me for about 2 weeks and as usual, i've been extremely busy, sometimes i just hate lawyers..... And nothing new's happening so.....

I've been having serious menstrual cramps since yesterday, the kind that grips u and makes u bowl over with really agonizing pains. Just made me wonder how childbirth is going to be if ordinary menstrual cramps is this bad, the mere thought of childbirth makes me shudder.... na wa.

But really, i want a lasting solution to this cramps thing, it makes my life really miserable, cramps, waist pain, back ache, giant headaches and dysentry. I take 2 capsules of felvene against all advice that i should stop it as its too strong. Pls dont tell me to go to the hospital, the only option is going to a private hospital and i will come back with a national bill for ordinary menstrual pain, am sure they'll want to admit me sef.
What really causes menstrual cramps anyway? i've heard many things, sugar intake etc but i just want to know and find a lasting solution. Help anyone?!?!

Away from cramps, there's this issue.....

Jos Crisis.

This is some very very saddening news. the jos thing is gradually turning into the infamous Hutsi and Tutsi thing except that we are not completely sure this is religous or ethnic crisis. It amazes me that some group of people will just wake up one day and decide its time to take innocent lives to prove a useless point. what do these demons really want?

It just got me thinking, while we are busy living our lives, taking each day as it comes with its wahala, trying to make money and pay bills etc someone just decides out of nowhere that its time to burn and destroy all u have and then kill you.
I'm trying to imagine how helpless those people could have been while facing an obvious and gruesome death, unprepared.
I'm trying to imagine what kind of demon would possess anyone to kill a pregnant woman and a child by cutting them up. Shooting from afar is equally gruesome, but looking into the eyes of a helpless child and cutting him up, why???

This has really got me sad. I really wish and pray something would be done to stop this madness.

My heart goes out to all those affected by the jos crisis. may God comfort them all.

no title

2010-03-01T23:54:00.000-08:00

Hi Pipo, hope u r having a better life/day/month?

I thot the month had started on a good note until later in the day yesterday when my boss got into a rage.
My boss is quite nice and friendly but is also one of the most difficult person on earth. she wants things to be done properly and orderly, no problem with that but her definition of properly and orderly changes every frigging day and its just hard to keep up. what was right and proper yesterday is gross and stupid today and u just have to guess whats good for tommorow. and once one person misses it that day, lots of people are in trouble for that day.

so yesterday, miss Clerk refused to carry her files into her office on time and automatically, i was at fault! i was running another errand so i didnt think i had to monitor Miss Clerk to see she saw the case files into her office. and when she gets mad, she rakes and rakes and rakes and says lots of things and u r forced to wonder "ok, what exactly is going on?". I actually cried yesterday cos she made it sound like i dont do ANYTHING just receive salary which is just crazy cos i do work, a lot!
ok, maybe crying is silly but i just hate to look incompetent and lazy cos i am not.

Anyway, i guess its one of the hazards of my job and working with my kind of boss.
Meanwhile, Miss Clerk will hear it from me today, nobody should just add to my already full to the brim schedule of work and take no insults for the wrong they do.
thats that with me and my raging boss.

So am going political today.
The state of our nation is really like a movie, at first it was a comedy of all sorts. Now its fast becoming a horror movie.
I dont hate Yaddy, its not his fault that guy is sick, i really dont wish him dead. But seriously, is anything wrong with him resigning to take care of his health? what is wrong with Turai anyway?! Are they going to hide the true state of this man's health till 2011 or when (which by the way is silly cos we will know wassup eventually one day one day)? What is the big idea anyway? are they so against Jonathan becoming President or........... I am really out of ideas.

What bothers me is the implications of this. This is one way to invite the military back in. These guys think democracy has gone on for long enough anyway so its time to step in again. I dont pray for it to happen but really, this is one good reason for them to steal the show while everyone is still confused.
And why is there so much fuss as to whether Jonny Boy should chose the members of his own cabinet? Of course he should. I am against his transferring Aaondoka to special duties, he should have kicked the guy's arse farther than that, like remove him totally. That guy (AG) messed things up too much. Jonny Boy should have people who are ready to work with him on board, fini!

Just wanted to vent my anger against my boss and the state of the nation since i cant exactly confront the parties involved.

Have a great month guys.

Vals, Lag, Witches etc

2010-02-22T08:18:00.001-08:00

Hi Pips. Been a while, i have been updating, in my mind tho, pardon me. Its been crazy as usual.
where do i start now? ah ha, Vals day!

Feb. 14th 2010 so far has been the best val day i've had in my 27 yrs of existence, considering the fact of course that its virtually the first "real" val celebration for me, sad init? I told u that in the past my radar always caught no gooders and stupid boys, they either ask me out after vals day or break up/travel/go on military operation etc during this very important period.
i've gotten a few gifts in the past. e.g a guy i totally did not dig got me a Charles Delon necklace, very pretty, unfortunately, nothing came out of it. 2008 MF got me some stupid choc, little key ring teddy and card, i dont know how the choc managed to be tasteless but then, i digress. all that is in the past now, praise Gad!!!

So Bubbly got me a lovely teddy bear, very white and red, i've named it Snowy. U can call me agbaya all u want, i've always wanted a teddy bear that would mean a lot. My dad got me one cute yellow teddy for my 25th. i have no idea why the man did that. But at least, Snowy has a girlfriend now, isnt that just cute.

So it was a simple but lovely day. he had ordered chinese and we ate it picnic style. pitched our "tent" far away from people, in a park we both love. we talked, gisted, gazed into each others eyes, stared at the starts and made plans of how we want our lives to be. and i must have given him a 100 kisses that day. it was simple but for me, very memorable.
and oh, i wore this very hot pink alter top on jeans which led to some things later in the evening. I AINT TELLING!!!! get ur mind outta the gutter, good girls dont tell :)

I hated the following monday cos i remembered all the stupid files i have to work on again and listen to silly lawyers move stupid motions. why didnt they just declare monday public holiday sef? right now they are all written in arabic, i'm trying to decode and translate to english.

was in lag last weekend for a friend's wedding. it was ok, had some fun. hooked up with my friend (she usually is my motivation for going to lag anytime) yours truly looked very very gorgeous i tell u, u know how i like owambe kinda life. this my profession just keeps dulling me plus abuja folks dont throw very correct parties.
everything got me tired and didnt really sleep well cos of the heat, it was terrible. i had the hugest headache and cramps sat evening. it was terrible and scary. was just lucky i got people offering to drive me around most of the time, for that, am really grateful. i was EXTREMELY happy and thankful when i left lag tho, apologies to my lag folks, i thot abuja was hot, lag is just on some different level of hotness!

i broke some rules on my dieting in lag. i had a full plate of jollof and friend rice and fried chicken at the party. had 2 slices of yam on saturday and sunday morning. i felt guilty. but i resisted drinks sha. so my diet continues full time now, no more rubbish.

a few randoms:

was watching africa magic at the salon last sat. it was something about witchcraft and mammy water. our depiction of witches and mammy waters always crack me up:

- they always have weird attires and weird hair styles and make up or marks
- they always laugh (usually three times with pauses in btw) whenever they are happy or angry
- they always sing and dance at their meetings
- everything beneath the oceans in mammy waters place is always beautiful and rosy and has lots of fruits while the other witches meet in dark and ugly places

just wondering o, is it really like this? dont be afraid to answer, i wont think u r a witch. lol.

have a great week y'all!

Diet, Val, Bags and other Ish

2010-02-11T01:43:00.000-08:00

Hi pipo!

So am getting better by the day on my diet thingi. breakfast today is lettuce (which i really really hate), carrot, tomatoes basically. i sprinkled some baked beans (just a few) and sweet corn so it wont taste so boring, otherwise, i'd throw up. Today i just feel like bread and very rich butter but so far, am winning over cravings. i shall be doing my progress result every now and then.

I've always wondered, why do we ladies clutter our handbags? some ladies (including myself sometimes) just fill it with things we dont really need or we'll never use but just throw it in there all the same. whats in ur bag this moment? are they all necessary? in my bag i have:

MAKE UP BAG: i only use the lip gloss and powder once in a while at work so i wonder why i still carry it around, maybe to feel like a girl?

JOURNAL: useful for taking notes in church basically or to read/write when i have to wait at some boring place which is like....once in a blue moon? but i still carry it around.

WALLET: but of cos! dont be decieved sha, except i have crisp notes, u wont find money in it, i keep money in purses in the bag.

NUTRI C: i've been carrying these 3 satchets for like 2 wks now, wont drink it, wont give it out and wont keep them elsewhere, i just forget!

SUNSHADES: essential in this Abuja's hot sun (or posing sha). i also have a black ink marker, pencil and biro - i need only the biro and wont remember the drop the rest. another small note book which is serving no purpose, mouth freshner, phones, hair ribbon, hand cream, orbit and baby wipes just finished. not too much junk eh?

So here's my val wish list, pls dont say i didnt give u enough notice, of cos the gifts dont have to reach on val day gan gan, u know. and feel free to pick more than one item:

PERFUME(S) - doesnt have to be one, preferably Elizabeth Arden, anything convinient

WRIST WATCH - I love swatch. Any nice wrist watch would do.

CHOCOLATES/CAKE - u r so not allowed to wave the diet card this moment, its val's day!!! nobody can be that mean! I'll resume to eating leaves right after that and will burn it off.

MYNE WHITMAN'S NOVEL - pls check her blog for details

JOURNAL - i need a nice bible/personal rant journal, preferably pink

SHOPAHOLIC SERIES - any of Sophie Kinsella's books, except "Shopaholic and Sister"

of course i would love shoes and dresses too but that would be too much trouble for u and i dont want to be a bother. am so considerate! or u could just send the money if u dont want to do all these wahala. just indicate ur choice in the comment sector.

lovely things not included in the list are also very welcome. operating word being "lovely"

PS:

uncle Agbaya just left my office, was in court and decided to come see me. he came to woe me some more and tell me what other ways that adultery will be beneficial. some people just no dey hear one time sha?!?!

he threatened subtly that now am posing, when he becomes "bigger boy" he will not have my time to which i replied "no problem and still, nothing for u now or later, Sir".

I just dey laff, na wa!

PS:

aint we just happy about the removal of the Attorney-General? its been long overdue and am excited about it. Guy should just resign if he has any intergrity but then, who said he has in the first place?

PSS:

thanx Myne et al that told me how to upload pictures, as u can see, i now know!

Thanx!

EVERYTHING I LOVE IS POISNOUS (PART 2)

2010-02-05T05:16:00.000-08:00

I am still on this diet issue. After discovering that everything i love is poisnous, or so i thought, i found out more. Everything in the world is tendering towards poisnous.

I told u my boss is cute at 50 yeah? girl turned 50 january. she wore jeans on wednesday and she looked...fabulous! so we got talking about weight and she started telling me (again) the things i have to stop eating. she kukuma go bring me plenty formula of what to eat and what not. Of cos the things that are safe for me are extra-ordinarily booooooooooooring to put it mildly.

yesterday i ate some fruits and tomatoes for breakfast. ate some rice with veg for lunch- ok, quite bearable.
moins for dinner- not bad
today it was carrots, paw paw and water melon for breakfast - very very boring.
wheat bread for lunch which by the way is poisnous too, a bit. i've got moin moin already for tonight.
i'm to run away from all types of fizzy drinks. this is not so so hard, i hope.
run from all fried things - a bit hard but doable.
pls does nutri C count as bad too? The most difficult parts of my mornings are when i have to drink water, its just somehow jare.

then she did the ultimate, pulled out a list of common foods and their calories, i wanted to die!!!!
i have selected a few for u to see:

peanuts/cashew nuts - 20z 1/4 cup - 205
saltline crackers - 5 pieces - 60
ice cream - 1 cup - 150 (oh no!)
pound cke - 1 slice - 380 (whatever that is, its bad)
banana - 1 medium - 105
orange juice - 1 glass - 100
malt - 1 bottle - 250 (i'm never gonna taste that s*** again!)
tonic water/ginger ale - 1 bottle - 115
cocoa - 1 glass - 250 (Jeez, does milo count?)
custard with whole milk - 3/4 cup - 175
pap - 1 cup - 200
wheat cereal - 2 weetabix - 127
bournvita/milo - 1 tablespoon - 50 (thats a joke right?)
cornflakes - 1 cup - 123
boiled egg - 1 - 80
fried egg - 1 - 200
white bread/wheat bread - 1 slice - 65 (for real???)
boiled yam - 1 slice - 105
akara - 2 big balls - 610 (how come?)
beef (non fat) - 1 piece- 202
chicken - 1 piece - 165
boiled rice - 1 cup - 210
fried rice/jollof rice - 1 cup - 390
beans - 1 cup - 210
eba - 250gm- 320
amala - 250g - 282
semovita - 250g - 250
pounded yam - 250g - 260
tuwo (corn starch) - 250g - 317
spaghetti - 140g - 155
fried plantain - 1 medium - 300 (no wonder!!!)
fried potatoes - 6 sticks- 100
fufu - 250g - 320
sausage - 100g - 476 (OMG!!! i love sausages so much)

this is just some of the items, its about 3 pages, just ignored the other ones.

at this rate, they will condemn everything in the world as poisnous, what then shall we eat?

in short, there's nothing safe other than fruits and veggies again, like seriously?????!!!!
dieting is so hard men, whose idea was it anyway?!
in one of them diets, they proposed just vegs and fruits a week, hello??? are u frigging kidding me??!!!

i'm going to start some exercise tommorow too. only wonder how long this will last, i'm so indisciplined its so annoying. like this funny book i read a long time ago "My diet starts tommorow". it was so funny, the chic kept postponing her diets, its either she's too upset, heartbroken, happy and she has to eat. it was so funny!

anyway, am willing to try, lets see how it goes. at least i'll detox.
my diet has started.

have a great weekend y'all!

PS
can anyone tell me how to add pictures in my post? the only option available to me is the one that i can put on my post title, i want it in the main post itself. how can i do it?

Benefits of Adultery

2010-02-04T04:03:00.000-08:00

During my internship days before law school, i met this lawyer, very brilliant, hard working and all the works. He works in a very popular and prestigious law firm and was the head of chambers. He took us tutorials during law school days. This short background is to let you know how much i respect and rever this "Oga".

Sometime 2008/09, i had this feeling Oga was behaving funny, i couldnt really describe it but i knew. He had always been nice to me, now he was nicer, wanting to touch my cheeks etc.
I kept hoping i was wrong but i couldnt be bothered, i dont see him that often and whenever i see him, i do the very-respectful-yoruba-girl thingi; kneel, say "Sir" every minute etc.

So yesterday Oga found the courage to tell me his mind. That he knew why i was being overly respectful so that he wont be able to say his mind and that i was running away "you know i like you now and you are a matured lady, kilonse e now?" what is wrong with you now?
In my mind i went "Shuo?!?!"

Oga launched into toasting sorry, friendship proposal. Started telling me how the friendship will be beneficial, wont cause any problems btw me and my boyfriend cos he wont know and he wont be coming to my house or sending text messages, how nobody will know, how he will be able to take good care of me. It will be a matured thing, we wont meet in common places, he has a discreet hotel, we wont be sending messages, its not a big deal. we will just be meeting once in a while (i guess meeting connotes sex) and nobody will know. He wont get me pregnant cos he has no plans of marrying me, its just friendship and when i want to get married he will play his part well (give me money and attend), its just benefits all the way!

"Oga, am a xtian, i dont do all these things, its wrong."

"Ehn, am i not a xtian too? there's nothing wrong with it, it just requires understanding and maturity".

He went on to tell me that several girlfriends of his had the same objection in the past just like me but they got over it and enjoyed the friendship eventually.

Shuo my people, see me see issue o! If i didnt know better, i wouldnt have thought we were talking about adultery again! I almost clapped at him for the beautiful presentation. I told u, he's a good lawyer, lol.

Anyway, to get him off my back, i told him i'll call him and we'll talk later. I left the place adequately dazed. Not bcos he was toasting me, men hardly shock me, but the way and manner in which he painted it, you could have thought we were discussing about the advantages of buying a duplex over a bungalow and not adultery.

Am not trying to be Mother Theressa here but really and truly, what could the advantages be that will make someone decide to be 2nd fiddle? pay my rent, buy me a car (very unlikely sef), dash me plenty money. I'll be busy with the "friendship" and let all the marriable young mans pass by and then i'll probably wake up one day and see that i've been stupid?
Hell No! tufiakwa!
to what end na?

PS
there's a new blogger, Bubu. Lets show her some love. its: bubu-myspace.blogspot.com

2010-02-02T00:21:00.000-08:00

Lets call them Bee and Tee.

Tee met Bee sometime 2008, Bee is a colleague's cousin, she just thot of him as cute and quiet. never ever thot anything could happen.
so sometime mid last year, they got talking more, got closer and closer, seeing almost on a daily basis, lots of text messages, the whole works. Tee was enjoying the attention and care. Bee is one very very caring man, the very definition of a perfect gentleman. he remembers every tiny detail Tee.

This is kinda new for Tee. her man radar always seemed to catch the no-gooders who were never sure what they wanted from her or life generally. He was just different, always knew what he wanted and went for it, doing all it requires to get it. a very matured man.
Everything was just going on well for them, it seemed like a perfect match. But there was a big issue:

AGE.

Tee is a year and 2 months older than Bee. For Tee this was a big no no. She had refused to date a guy 7 days younger than she was during her uni days, the guy still hasnt gotten over that fact. Its just right and proper for the man to be older. Thats the norm.

Another issue, Bee is also just starting his life. He got called to the bar late last year which makes Tee 3 yrs above him professionally, he's doing his youth corp program right now. It will be quite right to say Tee is above him in the things that matter, so to speak.

So, some of you might have guessed along the line: this is the story of my life. I am Tee and Bubbly is Bee. I just wanted you to form your opinion before i told you who they are.

When Bubbly popped the question, i felt so sad and my heart ached but i was so convinced the honourable thing to do was say no. So i told him no, this cant work.
He wanted to know why but i wanted to save his ego, these things hurt men's ego i learnt. But i couldnt be evasive for too long, he wanted to know and then asked one day "Could this be about age?" I admitted it was.

He said he was willing to prove to me that it wasnt an issue for him and that it shouldnt stop us.
I kept thinking about everything that could possibly go wrong: his mum will hear and freak out, his friends will think am bossing him or that i've used jazz for him, he'll wake up one day and realise am too old for him, if i disagree with him he'll think am trying to lord it over him etc

Truthfully, i really really liked Bubbly, he makes me very very happy. For the first time in my life, i'm enjoying a drama-free relationship. There's no hide and seek, no shady secrets. He's a good xtian and very honest.
No, he is not perfect, he has his own issues, just like any human being. But with him, i am very happy.

Its not been all rosy. I'm having to change my mentality about dating a younger guy, its no longer such a big deal but its there, somewhere in my subconcious. I try to be normal, I respect him like i would any man and try not to make him uncomfortable or threatened. I'm proud of him and try to tell people as much as necessary of his true status, he is a youth corper and a green wig (fresh lawyer), thats what he is for now, he wont be like that forever. If people dont approve, well, they hide their dissappointment well.

The sum total of it is that, I think he loves me sincerely, if he's faking it, he's got to be better than Tom Hanks but then, I dont see why he would be lying. His mum has known and really likes me too, except she's better than Julia Roberts or so too. She seems to have accepted me.

I know i love him too, its hard not to fall for someone like Bubbly.
I told a very close friend who i know will be objective and she said :"you've been praying you meet a man who'll love u and make u happy, now u have found him, will u let age deny you of the joys of the relationship?"

So am taking it one step at a time, savouring the moment. I pray for the wisdom and strength to deal with this peculiar relationship of mine. And I'm praying things get better and that there will be a nice ending to this love story.

So thats it, story of my life.

PS:
i really would love to hear ur opinion on this, i've asked about it in the past, i've made my mind up so no big deal, do feel free to air ur opinion.

PPS:

Happy New Month!
This very wonderful month.
Pls do share, how do u intend to celebrate valentine? Lets hear it!

I'm publishing my valentine wish list next post, pls do feel very free to pick more than one item, i will make them very affordable and postable. thank u very much!

happy nu year

2010-01-20T02:57:00.000-08:00

Happy new year!

Trust y'all had a wonderful holiday.
pardon the absence/silence, work was crazy for a while and then it just seemed like there wasnt anything worth putting down. i tried to keep up with my blog rounds tho, even when i dont drop comments, i still monitor u guys. am hoping to get my mojo back on now.

holiday was fun, had a blast. you should see me in my flabbergasted state (learnt that new word from Loving de life to mean ur state after gaining weight, brilliant isnt it?), i ate, ate, partied, etc i was just determined to have a memorable xmas and i did! plus Bubbly is still so so sweet, we werent together for xmas but it was fun having him in my life. full details on bubbly next post.

now its back to work and reality. speaking about work, problem dey o, there is no work at the moment for me! yes, you heard me right and no, am not enjoying it. courts have resumed session so naturally, we should be in the deep of it right now. but boss lost her mum and so there's plenty preparation for burial etc long and short of it, no sitting this month! its annoying cos there's pending work for me but boss no gree give us, that means my days of closing 10pm are fast approaching and that isnt a comforting thot (scowling face).

so i saw the movie 2012 on Sunday and all i can ask myself is, who send me?! the film is messing up my mind! it seemed so real, like something that might actually happen one day, God forbid! since i saw it, i've just had a fresher and newer perspective to normal, natural happenings. there was this very strong harmattan wind on monday and i just had a fresh perspective to it, maybe its something like.......... Tufiakwa!!! i wont even compare it. now i wish i had a roomie, i just wake up in the middle of the night and my imaginations run amok. God help me.

will be back soon again.........

Xmas is a state of the mind

2009-12-16T00:00:00.001-08:00

Heard Christmas is a state of the mind, not just the season. Funny but quite true.

This time last year, i wasnt so excited about Xmas. MF messed up with my life, i was broke, sad, irritated and a whole lot of other issues. Xmas just wasnt so exciting for me, i knew in spite of my hopes and prayers that it wasnt going to be such a wonderful Xmas. Lots of friends and plenty food didnt even do the trick. 2008 wasnt my best year.

But this time, its different. I can smell a good Xmas already. I am expectant, i am already joyous. so i guess its true, Xmas is a state of the mind.

This year has been a good one, lots of wonderful things to celebrate and be happy about. I really thank God for that. A new job that came unexpectedly, lots of other wonderful surprises. God has indeed been good to me. Oh, and He brought Bubbly my way! Thats something else to be really happy about.

I guess am this way cos God has been really good and more importantly, I have chosen to ignore all the things that went wrong this year, the dissappointments, the sad news, generally - i have chosen to see the glass as half full not half empty.

Something else am really happy about, the reinstatement order of the Unilorin 44 made by the Supreme Court last friday. This is the best news. These guys have been sacked and been battling it for about 8 - 9 years now. My father is one of the Professors that were sacked. Am glad that eventually, the course they fought for was not wasted and now God has justified them. Justice delayed is not justice denied. In spite of it all, God has kept us all through the years.

In all, its been good and am really thankful.

Its good to be back guys. May this be a wonderful xmas for you. May Santa bring u all the goodies ur heart desires.

speaking of which, what are u hoping Santa will drop in the sock for u?

i have a looooooooong list............. still compiling!

If u were a WITCH

2009-11-12T10:11:00.000-08:00

U remember when u were a kid and wished u were God? U'd imagine all the very nice things you would do, like make everybody very rich and happy. There will never be deaths, accidents, fire accidents or anything bad. Everything would just be sweet and rosy.
And how all those u hated were in trouble, how u would cause a mighty wind to remove the roofs of their houses or something equally..........wicked.

At some point, the dream changes, u really dont want to be God, it kinda removes the fun of it.
U discover u just want to be a witch. A WHITE WITCH!!
A white witch cos u really dont like the image of u dressed like Ayawmatanga, Oyiboyi etc in their meetings them. (yeah, some of us were that razz, i watched it all). u want to be a white, looking cool, nice and had lots of powers. U know, like those chics in Charmed. a witch that does only good for everyone but will punish the bad.

I had this dream when i was really young. I enjoyed imagining the various methods of punishing the bullies and jerks in the school with my supernatural powers.
I could make them pee or shit in their pants in class
or cause the wind to blow and reveal the dirty pants of girls that were mean.
or hit them with an invisible cane and make them cry like babies.
or make them come last in class.
it was endless
was i mean? maybe. all were in my thots sha o.

This wasnt limited to the bullies and jerks in my class or school alone. I wanted to deal with Anini (remember the famous thief that terrorised the country in the 80s?). I wanted to catch him and his gang and make public ridicules of them. I was on a good cause here. Am sure lots of u had those dreams/wishes/desires then.

So what has "revived this dream" today?

This morning on my way to work, this Gilmor (a construction company) long vehicle was being driven by a mad man, i mean certified were! u should see the speed and forcing every other vehicle in his way to scoot and run away, literarily, from his path. it was like scoot or u die!
right there i wished i had those powers i so desired when i was small. i wanted to suddenly appear by his side in the vehicle and hit his head with a big stick and tell him to park and start beating the madness out of him!

It does seem to me that whoever hires the drivers for those very long vehicles, especially berger vehicles, higher them on one condition; that they are certifiably mad!!! that has to be the criteria. otherwise, why would someone just decided to be on top speed for no just cause and threaten to kill everyone is small cars if they dont fly off the road for him? It must be because he is mad, there is no other reason!!!

What would u do if u were a witch? lets make u feel better, a white witch?

Wise or Not?

2009-11-09T09:52:00.000-08:00

So i have this question for y'all.

Would you as a lady date/marry a younger man? If yes, how "low" would you go?

Same applies to men, would you date/marry an older lady? If yes, how "high" would you go?

Is it safe?
Is it wise?
Is it permissible?
Does it depend on the couple alone?
How can it be managed?
What age difference is wise?

I know this is kinda frowned at in our African society but whats your take on it? I really do need your opinion on this.
Very Long comments are welcome.

Why do i ask? Details later

Have a nice week everyone.

I'm Bubbly

2009-10-29T04:16:00.000-07:00

I'm still in that mood.
I call this mood Bubbly.

I call him Bubbly.

Bubbly keeps making my heart..........bubbly!
He makes me happy.
I get those butterflies everytime I see him.
I have no control over my smiles whenever he shows up.
Every morning am expectant, cos i know Bubbly is going to send me a lovely message.
And then before i sleep, right after i see him off, i get another message,
telling me just how special i am.

Bubbly's blowing bubbles all over my life. I am so goddamned happy.
Right now i reside in paradise villa.
Reality is gradually knocking at my door,
reminding me we gotta head back to earth,
I am ignoring the knock,
just for a little while more.........

Right now i just wanna be bubbly!!!!

PS:

was going to upload Colbie Caillat's video of Bubbly, but the network is messing up right now. i am hearting the song right now. It helps me explain my mood.

This Feeling............... Love or something like it!

2009-10-22T05:43:00.000-07:00

You know that feeling when there's peace and happiness all around you,
thats how i feel right now.
I am still quarter to homeless, landlady decided to sell the house without telling us, new owners are to move in end of this month,
All the apartments i find are always above my means or just plain hideous,
I am still very broke, lots of bills yet to be paid,
The workload on my table seems to pile up everytime i clear it out................
List is endless

But within all these,
There's that someone,
very special somebody,
His sole purpose of existence seems to be just one: to make me very happy!
This assignment, he carries out with perfection.
I am easily the happiest woman on earth,
past 2 weeks of my life has been............wonderful!

So, i am going to enjoy the moment.
Will not think of the unpleasant parts,
and just savour this moment, this feeling.............

Guess its love, or something close to it.

Whatever it is, I am loving it!

PS:
details later

2009-09-28T08:54:00.000-07:00

My lover is healthy and tan,

the best of ten thousand men.

His head is like the finest gold;

his hair is wavy and black like a raven.

His eyes are like doves

by springs of water.

They seem to be bathed in cream and are set like jewels.

His cheeks are like beds of spices;

they smell like mounds of perfume.

His lips are like lilies

flowing with myrrh.

His hands are like gold hinges,

filled with jewels.

His body is like shiny ivory

covered with sapphires.

His legs are like large marble posts,

standing on bases of fine gold.

He is like a cedar of Lebanon,

like the finest of the trees.

His mouth is sweet to kiss,

and i desire him very much.

Yes, daughters of Jerusalem,

this is my lover,

and my friend.

- Songs of Songs 5 v 10 - 16, New Century Version.

and about the picture, i just love blair underwood, he matches the description in the poem doesnt he (i dont know about the legs tho). so sue me for wishing!

I have discovered one of the benefits of studying the bible, this beautiful poem is evidence. And if u dey abuse me say na songs of songs i dey read, na u know o, i must study the whole bible!!! finish!

Guess i stumbled on it one day when i was studying seriously and my mind just wondered to song of songs, i remember some boys in secondary school use it to 'toast babes'. and i thot they were silly!

So, i wrote it out in my journal, titled it Dream man. one day am hoping i'll read that out to my man, hmm, the thots are warming me up already! pls help me and beg him to hurry and show up before i give up on him and all these beautiful poems o. i am full of idea, will he come when all the ideas run away finish?!

you have to understand the mushy mushy mood, i am ovulating. i get mushy when ovulating. and i think unlike the normal women, i ovulate 90% of the time, gotta see a Gynea for that. heck i dont even know when i ovulate. sad, sad, sad.

I have 2 judgments before me. i have to read all the documents/processes filed in the case by both lawyers (a bunch of boring crap usually), what My Lord wrote which is like a doctors handwriting, check out all cases cited and generally translate everything from its greek/spanish state into english/yoruba language so i can understand and then finally give my opinion on the judgment. and somehow in all these, i found time to chat and read to u songs of solomon. am i officially nuts or what?!?!

i do have an excuse tho. U know am now a civil servant, they dont pay civil servants for the first 3 months (whoever dreamt up that bad idea), mine has decided to extend to first 4 months. no pay no work!

ok, just kidding. no pay, plenty work. My boss will kill me if i dont meet the deadline. i'll get my lawyer mojo back on in a matter of minutes. just had to digress and be mushy omotee for a while.

have a great week folks.

EVERYTHING I LIKE IS POISONOUS!!!

2009-09-16T08:07:00.000-07:00

I've known my new boss for a long time now, although she's never been very fat, she's quite on the big side - which is permissible, she's a mother of 2 in her 40s. So she travelled for her vacation and came back looking slimmer and very very nice, may i add, to my dismay! thats case No. 1 out of many.

My former No. 2 Boss, (remember MP?), she dropped down from 16/18 to a 14! she once bought a 16 suit and the thing wasnt properly fitted! plus this woman dresses to kill, on a normal day, she dresses like she's going for a corporate lunch. very decent, nice and toosh. u dont want to imagine her in trad for a wedding, absolute stunner! may i add, she is also a mother of 2 grown boys and a bit over 50! u should see her on fridays, either in native or casuals, she looks like a very young mama! let me beef her small by saying "afterall, her husband get plenty money"!

My former colleagues mum, who is well over 50 looks like my colleague's sister. u have to squint to see her white hair (thank God for that!). on her grandson's first birthday, she wore pants and top and looked like one of us, conviniently. plus her daughter told me she has and knows where to get the hottest lingeries anywhere. now am seriously fuming.......

there's my friend K, she bakes cakes, she's the one i get to bake all my birthday cakes etc she has 2 little girls too and in her 30s. she is something between size 8 and 10. yet the very evil K bakes me the sinful, lovely and spongy choc cakes for my birthdays, just the way i love it and stupidly, i eat and beg for more. whats the result? very obvious and apparent, am a size 14!!!!!! ok, we are coming back to me...........

these are just a few, i see lots of these "Mummies" these days and they are hot. in fact, hotter than we twenty-something-and-very-single-girls of these days i can bet u.

now to the purport of this rambling cos i know u r wondering whats my ish with them.....

I am now a confirmed SIZE 14 going on 16!!!!!

in fact, i struggle to enter some fitted size 14 dresses these days.
i had noticed this some months ago when i tried on some of my trads, they just would not zip or pass the hip. u should see war in "packing" myself into some of my old trad attires, na war!
i became very very sad yesterday when i was trying on some jeans. size 12 jeans (the type that stretches usually do well on me). 14 wont be so smart. news flash, the size 14 could not pass my bum! the fact that its the very tough jeans material is not consoling me right now. i have exploded and am just 27 and unmarried and have no kids yet!!!

funny thing is, i do not "feel" fat. sincerely, i do not. in fact, i dont remember how fat i am until i try on something i like or i take photographs. these are the things that remind me that am fat.

i walk smart, can do exercises (dont do the gym bit tho), not lazy, dont feel heavy etc but am fat.

i know u cant wait to ask the obvious question, whats my diet like?

ok.......... confession time. i promise u, am going to be very honest:

i eat basically twice in a day, at most. brunch and supper.
i do not do large plates, i get filled easily.
i eat fruits, a lot. i love apples and eat them when i feel perkish instead of biscuits and chocs.
i have done away with coke almost completely, i can go a week without coke et al.
i have reduced ice cream drastically to about once in 3 wks (this is hard considering how much i love ice cream)
i do lots of vegetables.
i have zero resistant for cakes. yes. that is my undoing.
i love chicken which is healthy, abi? i know the skin isnt but i indulge once in a while.
i like junk food but dont do them often, hello! u need lots of money to do junks in this abuja place! i cant keep taking trips to grandsquare or kay's house when i feel like cake so that has reduced the crave for cakes.
i've done away with pastries but still do a little bread tho. i heard that is very bad.

this is so annoying. all the things i like except apples, which i hope some researcher wont come up to say is fattening, are bad for me. Btw, they say bananas are fattening, is this true?! and indomies too!

EVERYTHING I LIKE IS POISONOUS!!!!

the more i become consious of my weight, the more i exercise and watch my diet, its exactly at those times that people say "Omotee, u dey gain weight o!". when i let go and do crap, people dont seem to notice. o ti su mi o.

i know i have to be disciplined but this is so hard. i have heard a zillion weight losing methods but i know i cant do lots of them:

i dont like gyms, its just so routine and cliche. would love to lose weight in a fun manner.

i just want to be a size 12 at least, thats all i pray for. i know as a matter of fact that i have a hot shape (this is very true, ask my friends) but my stomach and big bum wont let it show that much. a size 12 with a fairly sucked in stomach will do me just good, this is all i want.

knowing my vices, what do i do now?!
i know i sound like a broken record but indulge me.

and please, please, do not, whatever u advise (i need ur advice badly), dont tell me to quit cakes completely, once in 3 wks cannot be that bad and am just taking 2 (or 3) slices of choc cakes!

Hormones and other stories

2009-09-12T04:34:00.000-07:00

Hey guys!

longest time. promised myself was going to get my writing mojo back but the muse seems to be angry with me. i have like a zillion things to talk about and yet, i dont get to put anything down, i just do blog rounds and close up.

a lot has happened since my last post:

LAGOS/NBA CONFERENCE:
i started my leave at old office on the 15th of last month, went to lagos for the NBA conference. the conf is actually an opportunity to hook up with lots of old friends, it was fun! i had plenty fun. everyone took turns in taking me out, debonairs, chocolate royale, galleria etc. yeah, i realise how bush i sound now for not knowing all those places, I do not like Lagos! i sincerely feel u have to be superhuman or something to live in lagos. but my man Fashola has performed some miracle there, its much much saner than i expected.

the conference was nice, lots of lawyers, forming activity like we can actually care to solve Nigeria's problems. ok, i am a pessimist, and i am changing that, but i feel the issues or Nigeria cannot be solved by lots of talks and conferences, our issues are much more.......... tougher than plenty speeches. God help us.

and in Lag i saw Cutie! remember cutie?

CUTIE:

Cutie is my name sake. Cutie and i met some 2 yrs ago and we clicked. he is so cute and so funny and brilliant plus we have plenty of chemistry. we really like each other and still both afraid to commit into a relationship cos of distance. Cutie stays in Lag, i here in Abuja with no hopes of relocating. now cutie seems to be open to the idea of the long relationship thingi and now.......... i couldnt be bothered. i really like Cutie but a real relationship takes 2 willing people. last time we discussed, we were supposed to be dating but he does something funny. when we talk on phone, he tries to be formal and nice, so that the people with him dont think he is talking to someone special. he calls later at night then gets into his element and starts the "Hi baby" thing.

whenever he introduces me to anyone, its very formal: "Meet Omotee", thats all. Its annoying! Does he think am stupid?

So, i just talked to myself. I like Cutie. would like it very much if we had something serious going on. Cutie doesnt seem to think that way. seems to me like he wants the 2 of us to know of the relationship btw us. That sucks and its really silly.

I know he had this girlfriend that they've been dating for so long and they've kinda broken up. then saw her passport in his wallet plus all his deja vu kind of attitude, i decided to confront him some 2 weeks ago about it. didnt quarell or anything. just sent him a text: "hey, are u and Miss......... still together?"
then he said "yes....but we should talk about this".

so we talked later and Cutie didnt own up, didnt say Yes we are dating or No we are not dating. just said "Babe, lets drop this, its not an issue for us. I am your man and I'm asking you to just forget about that whole issue".

can you beat that?!?!

anyway, i didnt quarell with him over it. just left the issue and dropped him as well. just stopped calling him and when he calls, i dont sound cold or anything. point is, as much as i like him, am not hung up over him, i am not crazy about him. my attitude is, if he is there, fine. if not, too bloody bad!

MF has taught me a lesson, i am not going to let anybody hurt me that much again. stay if u want to, if cant, take a hike! headache over a guy is too expensive for me to pay.

HORMONES:

i think i have a probem. ok, maybe not a problem problem, but its there, nagging, and no, i havent gone preggers.

usually when am ovulating, i feel extremely mushy mushy, badly want to have sex, have babies, i see babies and go, awwwwwwwwwwwwwww!

for the past few days now, i have been extremely mushy mushy, my hormones are everywhere, driving me nuts. i see a nice looking tall guy and i imagine a gazillion things and the poor guy wouldnt even be looking in my direction, talkless of saying hello! i think its pathetic! i am not even ovulating. is this normal? i think its a bit abnormal.

bottom line: I need a boyfriend and i need him fast!

PS:

i promise to update something that makes sense soon, but right now, my hormones arent even helping me make sense. have a great weekend y'all!

2009-08-05T04:13:00.000-07:00

Hey good people, was i missed?!?!

I've always had crazy schedules and hectic days but i have no words yet to describe what the last few weeks have been. crazy just doesnt seem to say it anymore. somehow there are just about 3 lawyers in my office (asides Principal and Managing Principal (p and MP) of cos) and we have like a zillion cases in a day and lots of pending appeals, all those legal jargon things. but am so glad now, August is here, the month of slowing down, besides, there is good news now..................... i'll tell u in a bit.

so things are a bit sane now at work and in my life. Court's are on vac except for a few Judges who still want to sit. i start my much awaited leave on the 15th. the best part of it is P and MP are away on vacation, outside the country!!!!!!! am especially glad that P is out. the guy is in his early 60's and doesnt believe there's nothing to life asides work!! little wonder i still have no boyfriend, yeah, more gist on that.

so, unto the good news:

I got a new job!!!!!!! Yes!!!!

Its nothing short of a miracle and believe me, this aint no cliche. I'm out of practice (advocacy) for now, am with the judiciary now. i am going to be working with a Judge. the pay isnt superbly fantabulous but then, its a better opportunity and most importantly, i am going to start a sane life! no more country throtting for cases and all of that.

of cos i will miss my job, i liked it and i will miss my office folks, lovely people. never knew change could be so scary but then...... change has come and am embracing it!

so, lots of things have happened that i will gist about but am still in my last duties so i gotta run now! pls do drop ur comments, i've missed u all!

PS

i visited some store yesterday, Exclusive supermarket here in abuja. i hope i do not appear bush but i saw somehting crazy! i saw a bottle of wine that cost N1.3 million! yes , million for a bottle of wine!!!!!!! if i drink that kind of wine, it must be able to turn me into something! i dont know...........princess maybe?!?!

but really, whats the idea?
ok, maybe am just bush
but would u buy a bottle of wine for 1.3M? and why?

just reminds me of the prices of clothes in true love magazines - bum shorts (simple or ugly looking at that) for about N40k! excuse me?! do people actually buy that?!

wanna hear ur thots on these folks!

The Ultimate Goal?

2009-06-16T10:12:00.000-07:00

A few questions have been in my mind for long and each time i try to discuss it with my friends, i just get funny answers. I just want to know if i'm being naive or silly or unrealistic:

Does or Should marriage for a woman mean an entirely different and new life?

Ok, thats kinda vague, will explain, hope not to lose you.

Usually, the trend these days for us ladies is that we get married, ditch all our old friends.

I dont think it should be so.

I'm of the opinion that your husband can never be ur all in all. somehow ur husband cannot be able to fill in as ur husband, girlfriend, sister and all those things our girlfriends mean to us.
Dont get me wrong, I am all for marriage, in fact, i wanna get married like yesterday. i love men (yes i do!), i am a bloody romantic and all that. dont think this is one of those activism thingis.

I am also aware that when u get married, you explore another realm of your life, its so different, time and energy tasking and all that. Things cannot definitely be like when you were single and

But then, is becoming Mrs. So so the ultimate goal? Isnt there something more you want to achieve? isnt life going to continue? Is marriage all that there is to life? Does marriage magically turns ur life over and bam! u r a new creation?

For instance, when u ditch all ur friends cos u r now married, what happens to days when there's something u want to discuss with a woman? days when baby does this funny thing and u just want to talk to a woman about it? days when u just want to have good times with your girl friends? days when you want to get a certain recipe? shopping? ideas? etc???

times when u and hubby arent having it so sweet and u just want to talk to a woman about it? and yes, i know about all the do-not-involve-the-third-party-in-your-marriage-rule but God has created us in such a way that we cant solve things all on our own, u only apply wisdom on your choice of person to talk to about things.
So when these kind of days come, what happens? there's suddenly no one to call on because we left them out when status changed.

And then there's this funny issue. Your husband suddenly dont like your friends whom they knew u with in the toasting days. they dont want u to go anywhere asides work. its going to be war before u are allowed to hang out with ur girlfriends, am not talking late night parties o, am talking normal shopping, birthdays etc. Trust me, in this 24th century, i still see men like that!
these men suddenly think ur friends especially the single ones will corrupt u. these ur friends will suddenly be able to "spoil ur head", something they couldnt do when u were 18 - 23, this feat will be achieved now that you are 28!!!!!!!

i have a friend whose husband doesnt want her to keep in touch with me anymore cos i might corrupt her. poor me is in abuja and chic is in london o!
i also have a friend who isnt married but Oga dictates who she talks to or hangs out with via phone, in fact, he prefers that she is always alone, all the time. she doesnt seem to complain so whats my own, it only makes me wonder....

But really, i wanna know, is that how its meant to be with marriage?

PS
On me and my cockroaches, since the day i did that post, i havent seen them o! Praise da Lord!!!!!!!

2009-06-10T08:53:00.000-07:00

Halloz good people!

Remember Mr. Nice? That very nice man that wanted to marry me? Ok, read Jacob and Esau, he was Jacob.

So, in February, my younger brother came from school to spend a few days with me. My AC was bad and we had just a standing fan, it was extremely hot but repairing an old AC or buying another one was not in my budget then.

So Mr. Nice came on a hot sunday afternoon, brought me an electrician to repair my old AC. oga elect said my AC was very old fashioned and almost useless and there'll be no sense repairing it. so i said thanks, do not bother. Mr. Nice took oga elect away and a few mins later, they came back with a tokunbo AC and fixed it.

I told Mr. Nice i wasnt ready to buy an AC o, that he shouldnt bother. my friends eyed me and said to shut up. "Thats his own humble way of buying me an AC so i should stop behaving naive and foolish". So he said we should manage it (teasingly) so my brother will enjoy his stay. meanwhile, he said it was a temporary arrangement thing. Duration? Payment? I asked and he refused to answer, smiled and kept quiet.

Meanwhile, neither the AC nor Mr. Nice's nice gestures were able to secure a relationship. i just never liked him, there was something unreal about him. To spoil it all, he started complaining about my friends, one in particular, according to him was too loud for his liking. Now, i do not like guys who think u should discard all ur friends just bcos he's your boyfriend. And pls note, in this case, i had not even agreed to date Mr. Nice, that was crystal clear! and yet he wanted to start sacking my friends! later he will give me his list of approved friends, shio!

without longing things, Nice disappeared, left AC.

suddenly out of the blues, Nice sends me a text saying "hi. d xter that rented the AC will be coming for it, he has refused to sell and using the impulsive deal i had with him to exploit me. let me know when he can see you".

Ehn! can u imagine? i ignored the text, waiting for him to text. then two days later he sends anotehr one saying "hi. guess u didnt get my earlier text, cant pay the aircondition man a dime again after almost 20k, unless he's ready to sell. let me know when he can come for it. Nice".

Eh! people no dey get shame o! this same guy was pestering me last year to take one of his cars, seeing that i have no car and he has 3 and he doesnt want to see me suffer. i refused to take his car, i dont think i need it now i said. i just thot i couldnt take a car from someone who wanted to marry me and i wasnt ready. my awuf no dey reach like that. so, i wonder what would have happened if i had taken the car? na so i go dey shockingly naked cos the mechanic would want the care back!!!

so we exchanged several text messages, i told him to come carry his AC on sat morning, that i wonder what took him so long blah blah blah. the guy was furious and started sending texts of how he had spent 40k! and lately he sent me a text saying "I" should remove the AC myself and put it by my door so the electrician can come pick it.

E gbami o! shuoo! so now am an electrician! of cos i let him know there's a reason i read law and just in case he has forgotten, i am a woman! let the bloody electrician or himself come and remove the AC and fix my old one back! shame still dey catch am, he hasnt called me since. i swear the next time he calls or texts concerning him, i will shock him. i have plans for him whenever he comes to remove his AC.

i mean, all this fuss over tokunbo AC wey i no beg for o! i was happy and contended with my fan o! yeye man! he pulled that stunt that day to impress my friends and brother, they all just felt "oh, he's so kind and caring". greek gift! am buying a chacha AC right after i pay my house rent. shio!

something just made me happy sha, i'm glad i refused to date or marry this guy, something was wrong tho i couldnt place a finger to it. all my friends thot i was stupid for not dating this "highly nice and comfortable guy". am glad i didnt. wetin for happen?

LA COKARACHA

2009-06-08T06:47:00.000-07:00

Hey y'all! whats good? been ages.

I've been managing to read some blogs and drop comments when i can. I have been extremely busy (thats everyone's cliche, who dey play with sand?!). Work seems to be unending and am always on the move! I wish the plenty wahala would show by some weight reduction but no, i still look the same!

And truthfully, i havent posted any cos i havent gotten anything nice to blog about, but then, i have one, no, two issues bothering me that i want to share. this first issue was inspired around 12.59 this morning, i just felt my blog folks might be able to help:

My house/accomodation/room (its a self-con flat, with kitchen inside the room) is quite spacious and neat. I am not exactly extremely neat but i'm quite neat; empty my trash cans, dont (always) leave plates overnight, sweep my room and generally keep the room in good shape. i have a room mate that's quite neat too, we make a good team. i love scrubbing floors and washing anything. i have a friend that's kinda squatting (long story) so that makes 3 women but we do well, room is quite big.

So my reason for this elaborate description is this: why da hell would cockroaches try to steal my peace???!!!! i absolutely hate junks, i throw away anything that represent junks, i have no emotional attachment to bottles and nice containers, so, to the best of my ability, i make sure they have no place in my home. there's camphor in every frigging corner of my room cos i heard they keep them away but guess what??!! just like winch, those stupid creatures show up at night, when u are in deep sleep and creep on u!!! they probably have a secret headquarters in my room or something. yes, its sad but true! we dare not sleep without cans of raid or baygon and sleepers and brooms nearby, all bcos of those little demons!

you have to see the rate and speed at which we wake up, put on the torch and start searching for cockroach, its almost crazy, u feel anything on ur skin or cover-cloth, u just jump, like some automated machine programmed to jump. the sight is very funny but we never laugh cos its annoying! my roomy actually prayed about it!

can u imagine?! chics like us, cockroach dey harrass us. i have used all the liquids and insecticides that i have seen and all they do is keep away for hours and show up later. we kill at least one every frigging day! pls, just before i go find babalawo to do jazz, what can i do again? am sincerely annoyed! they've interrupted beautiful dreams and my sound sleep severally and then i dream later that a cockroach entered in between my bread and i toasted and ate them!!!!!!!!!!!! PLS HELP!!!!!!

i'll do a post on the next bugging issue. just before i do, may i ask, what da hell is wrong with being a MISS?!?!?!

details later.

my friend and i (from previous post) are gradually coming back to terms. we been gisting and we danced for hours together yesterday. he sure did get over it, or so i hope. details later too.

2009-05-09T08:21:00.000-07:00

Follow up on yesterday's deep shit:

Thanks everyone for the advice et al. Though now i realise i didnt make myself very clear, in the text, i wrote out his name, in full! just wrote it here as Fellow for anonymity's sake, so just replace Fellow with a guy's name, thats what makes it such a deep shit!!!!

if there was no name there, i would have easily told him it wasnt meant for him or about him.

Antyways, i sent a text to him yesterday, immediately after i realised my mistake and per advice of my colleagues, saying, sorry the text was not meant for u. am so sorry.

Fellow did not respond, he just called much later around 6pm:

Fellow: Omotee how now? where are u?

Me: Just leaving office, going home now (my heart was doing 340 at the mo but i was good at covering it)

Fellow: Apparently mo ti be (which means "i have been forward") cos i just learnt we are not allowed to bring in guests for the dinner (which is a civil way of saying i dont wanna see u)

Me: ehn ehn? ok then, no problem.

Fellow: ok then, hope u r fine sha? take care (said very nicely like nothing happened).

Me: Ok. "CLick".

I have re-read the text message a zillion times and tried the to re-wind time but Geenie don travel. I still feel bad cos i know it will spoil the friendship we had or at least put a strain on it. but then, its one of those things i guess. i have even laughed over it.

Thursday will tell when we see at salsa. knowing him, he probably will just say hi politely, ignore me and pretend like nothing happened. its not exactly a broachable topic. if he ever talks about it, its an opportunity for him to say "Omotee, i was just being a friend, i had nothing in mind, didnt know ur mind will travel that far" and it will be my turn to look and feel stupid and foolish.

abeg, i don free myself jo! shirappens!

Of cos we all know that will be being economical with the truth.

Funny thing is, i have done this foolish thing before. i was to send Luscious Ron a text about an ex who was getting funny with me and i sent it to the guy in question! luckily all i said was: "i must be mad o, i just had 5 mins of serious sizzling kissing with my ex!"

so he replied and said: "nobody is mad! mind urself o! next time i catch u, it will be hours of serious sizzling kissing!" and we just laughed it off.
i have been extra cautious in text messaging since yesterday.

thanks everyone and have a great weekend!

HELPPPPPPPPPP!!!!!! AM IN A DEEP SHIT!!!

2009-05-08T04:58:00.000-07:00

My issue is as bad as the topic, i am in a deep shit, literarily!!!

I have a friend, very nice guy, we met at salsa and been quite close since then. Sometimes i feel we are too close, he can leave my house late and i dont really mind cos i just see him as my friend. He has a nice relationship with all my friends that he knows. we have so much fun together. he is one of the main reasons why salsa is so much fun for me.

so today, i did the most stupidest thing.

he called this morning to invite me for a dinner party. my room mate (who has been hoping something happens between us) was very excited about it this as expected. i then sent her the following text:

"I am really praying and hoping "Fellow" doesnt ask me out, i'll feel very akward turning him down. y cant he just be who i want.?"

U can imagine what i did, yeah u guessed right, i FOOLISHLY AND STUPIDLY sent the text to him!!!!!!!!! (u are permitted to tell me how stupid i am).

u know how nokia fones are, it gives u recent call list and recently used options when u want to send messages. roomy had called earlier before Fellow and so i just stupidly sent it to Fellow.

My colleague said i should just send a text to say "sorry, pls that text wasnt meant for you, am sorry" which i did immediately but thats not going to wipe out my previous text. this is one moment i wish MTN will misbehave!! wish denied, Genie is dead!!!

Of cos i wont go to the dinner, guilt wont make me ride the same car with him or sit beside him.

But pls tell me, what can i do??? talk about it?? say nothing until he talks about it???? pls help me!!!!!!

I have been doing stupid mistakes this week. First was mis informing my boss on Monday that his 12pm flight was 2pm and i entered that yawa BIG TIME. i narrowly escaped by getting the tickets at the airport. might interest u to know that Fellow talked me out of the blues i got from it and see what i did to him.

today, i mistakenly filled the names of shareholders on my colleagues forms, he is in a good mood today so world war 3 was averted.

is something wrong with me? am i on some curse or what?

PSS

My colleague asked me what exactly is wrong with fellow that i cannot fathom a relationship with him. pls note, he isnt even asking me out yet o, he is just being nice and am sure he has guessed i dont have a serious boyfriend.

Fellow is ok, nice guy, very nice, friendly, the kind of person all ur friends get along with. good sense of humour, hard working and intelligent. all those things. I just do not like him that way. plus (now i expect u to think am crazy too), i am an inch taller than him, is that a silly excuse?

pls blogsville, talk to me, i need u now!!!!!!!!!!

I'M TAGGED

2009-05-01T05:38:00.000-07:00

8 THINGS I LOOK FORWARD TO

1. Being very very very rich (prefarably to be Mrs. Femi Otedola or Dangote)

2.Being Mrs. ......... (i trully wanna marry and cash my V cheque)

3. Getting a better paying job

4. loosing weight (and still get to eat choc cakes)

5. becoming an icon in the legal profession

6. raising my own kids

7. a better practising christian

8.Constant blogging(Not necessarily in that order)

8 THINGS I DID YESTERDAY

1. did a short prayer

2. worked, a lot

3.bought my mum an impromptu gift (hey am nice)

4. did a post on my page

5. danced and had plenty fun at salsa

6. drank 2 cups of tea late last night and ate one slice of toast

7. imagined me being a slimmer girl and dancing so well

8. slept like an idiot!

8 THINGS I WISH TO DO

1.Become a better Christian (true)

2.Play a bass guitar (Luscious Lu copied my dreams)

3. Live a much more fulfilled life

4. Buy lovely bras and dresses (vain, i know)

5. Visit Egypt, Greece, Mecca and Jerusalem

6. Slap rude policemen who ask for bribe and harrass poor people

7. Yell at my dirty neighbours who do not believe in using trash cans

8. Have a contact at PHCN to ensure i have uninterrupted power supply

8 SHOWS I WATCH.

1. Desperate Housewives

2.Grey's Anatomy

3. Ellen Degenres Show (once in a while)

4.Sex and the City

5.Alias

6. AIT News

7.NTA News

8. My funny roomate and friend (i tell u, she's a show to behold)

BLOGGERS TAGGED

1. MDM

2. LusciousRon

3. Roc Naija

4. TDVA

5. Miss Love

6. Simon

7. Nefertiti

8. Scribble

6. Missfly high

Hope y'all have a good rest this break. Cheerio!

2009-04-30T01:51:00.000-07:00

Remeber the stupid things i used to think and do when i was a kid. some i still have not forgotten, i got seriously walloped!

- remember one day, think i was 6, for no particular reason, i decided to shit (poop) in our car garrage. mum packed her car and saw it. before asking why, she beat the living shit (literarily) out of my life. i still wonder, why on earth did i do that?!?! the house had like 5 toilets!

- i had lots of aunts and cousins staying with us then and so the aunties fetch water all the way up when pressure cant go up. so after filling several drums, i decided to put like a few drops of pop's cleaning fluid (for his sax and stuff) in each of the containers filled with water (just to know what will happen). it spoilt it all and looked like kerosine and water and smelt horrible and oily. mum asked, i denied, she got to know and whooped me seriously.

- we used to have a little kiosk in front of the gate then, we sold petty stuff (to keep gran busy) including sweets. eclairs eyin alangba (tiny egg like multi-colored sweets), goody goody, gogo etc. i started stealing eclairs and eyin alangba then, i pop one at every opportunity.

on the day of reckoning, a neibors kid came over and saw lots of eclairs wrap behind the shop and asked if everyone who bought eclairs eat it behind our shop. asiri tu!! my yansh don open!

in short, mum found out. she beat me like a thief (well, i was)! even pop couldnt bear it and just left the house. after beating me, with the dripping nose et al, she forced me to eat "I give u food all the time" and gave me a newspaper where they showed thieves at a firing squad. she said "thats what happens to thieves, no matter what they steal, some of them stole N5 and see them now".

It worked cos anytime i got tempted, i just remember the firing squad.

- there was also the addiction of plucking fruits from people's house, ripe or unripe, we just had to pluck, usually on our way back from school (pri school). the man will chase us, screaming and cussing, we just kept doing it. somehow, i never got caught. interestingly, we had lots of fruit in the house, why must we steal?

- one man bred all types of dogs too, alsasians etc he didnt even have fruits. we just had to disturb the dogs to see if they could chase us. one unfortunate day, a fierce dog was tied loosely to a cassava plant, of cos it broke loose and chased us! while running, all i was thinking was "If this dog bites or eats me, my mum will probably beat my remains still". i cant remember why the dog left us.

- whenever it rained then, i always sit by the window, imagining that angels are gathered round a very big and mighty sieve, with God (remember He is big and mighty) pouring water into the sieve, and thats how it rains. i always sit there hoping to catch a glimpse of my imagination.

PSS:

i am very very horny with nothing to do about it! unfortunately, i am ovulating and coming accross things that will stimulate me! oh what a day.

SO ITS MY BIRTHDAY!!!

2009-04-14T03:19:00.000-07:00

Today has finally come and contrary to how i felt earlier (Help, I'm Aging), i do feel good today.

I feel greatful and thankful to God, I have life, I can have every other thing He permits.

I have recieved some gifts already. U wont believe my colleagues gave me jewelries, perfume, OMG, everyone knows how vain I am!!! My senior colleague gave me cash, and u wont believe, he asked me to "Buy Shoes"!!!

Other gifts are coming, I say that by faith (pls refer to earlier post).

I have recieved zillions of calls and text messages, people just remember my birthday, i just feel good! How on earth could I have thot I would be gloomy?!?!

Will let u know how the day goes.

XOXO!

RANDOM THOUGHTS

2009-04-09T04:05:00.000-07:00

I read Repressed One's blog yesterday and its a really good piece, inspiring, thot provoking. If i wont be guilty of stealing copyright (or somfin), that piece inspired this post.
(And make i no lie, i get brain block or something and life is generally uneventful at the mo, hence this ........ post)

The post made me realise how ungrateful i have been.

Dont get me wrong, I am always so full of thanks to God, but its almost as much as i complain and nag Him about the things He has not done. Sometimes i want to have a tete-a-tete with God and say things like "Baba, I offend u? You answer some people sharp sharp but my own go tey, wetin i do sef?"

Sometimes, i see people, who i feel i am better than, characterwise etc. and they seem to get the best out of life.

I see and know chics who have "lived the life" without care of what might happen tommorow but still get the best of what goody two shoes still dream of getting one day.

For instance, you see chics that are outrightly wayward (to say the least) and eventually, they get married to really good men (at least, they appear so). And it makes me wonder, is that some definition of "divine favour" or "grace"?

If i have to put down my thoughts on this, i probably will have to write a whole book.

But i choose not to bore u. I just want to say:

God I'm thankful for lots of things, in spite of my complaints and naggings.

Am thankful for the gift of life, without which there would be nothing.
All those trips I make every week, with crazy drivers and horrible roads,
Some make a quarter of those trips, and they have horrible experiences,
or worse still, lose their lives.

Am thankful for good health.
Lots of people have better diets and are more disciplined
But still they fall ill and spend the better part of their lives in
hospitals and on drugs.
But i eat crap and dont exercise and I am healthy.

Am grateful for the job I have,

Even though most of the time I feel like strangling my boss,
Sometimes it seems like the reason for his existence is to frustrate my life,

But i dont want to imagine life without a goal or target to meet in a day.

Am grateful for all my friends,

Sometimes i feel like I have too many of them,

But they are all so wonderful and important to me.

Am grateful for my little family,
Not perfect though, lots of things could be better,
But I love them nonetheless, they are all I have got.

Am grateful for being able to love,
Loving could be so wonderful, so heavenly you cannot explain it,
And yet, it could be one of the most hurtful things to feel,
The pains and hurts we feel from loving......... I cant explain
But I do not want to imagine what life would be without feelings of love.

Am grateful for the one who invented the idea of Blogging,
How would I have met the wonderful, crazy and intelligent people I have met through blogging?
Shakespeares of all sorts and in their own rights.
People who read my silly and uninspiring posts but are still nice enough to drop comments,
The funny friendship we build through blogging,
It makes me wonder what I have been doing with myself prior to this great discovery.

And to conclude this random thots,
The author of my devotional this morning gave one of the reasons to be thankful (or content):
THINGS COULD BE WORSE!
No matter how wierd you think your case is, someone has a worse case.
LORD, AM SO THANKFUL.

PS:
I am thankful as I wait for mybirthday gifts. Here's a list of things that will make me very grateful:
- A BMW X5 (forgive the citation, u know the car). I've been in it and it suits me a lot.
- A lovely wristwatch. The one on me right now is a VERY FAKE DKNY! Make i no disgrace una.
- A big and sinfully rich choc cake (u know i missed out on that during vals, pls someone, make up for it).
- Ummm....... Will update the list very soon. I have one yeye Notice of Appeal to do, Oga is yelling for me now.

Peace and Love!

HELP, I AM AGING!!!!!!

2009-03-18T01:18:00.001-07:00

I havent got much to say, just this tiny, almost insignificant and silly issue that i have been thinking about. thats why the title is silly too.

Come April 14th, I will be a year older, specifically, i will be 27 (there, i said it). so whats the ish abi? well........ lets just put it simply, 27 sounds (and feels) quite old! i mean, i feel old! 27 is scaringly close to 30! the BIG 30!!!! in the next 3 years i will be 30!

What happened? suddenly am 27. a few years back, i used to think 27 was so far away and that by then i would have been a lot of things, on top of my list is that i would be Mrs. Omotee Somebody, i would be a big time young lawyer making plenty waves and of cos, plenty cash. i thot by now i would have figured a lot of things out, but alas, that age has come and Nos 1, 2 and 3 on my list are still at best, dreams!

No. 1 is especially difficult, moreso now that it seems all the men i meet these days are either married, stupid, extremely short, already hooked (and want u as a side plate), confused and just generally not it. the marriageable ones just dont seem to exist anymore! does anyone feel me?!

Dont get me wrong, i am grateful to God, u cant even complain about this things if u were very ill or better still, dead. i am thankful for life and i aint doing so badly, really.

But suddenly theres so many things i cant do anymore, i just feel so old. for the first time in my plenty years am not so so excited about my birthday, i am usually EXTREMELY excited about my birthdays, my phone rings every second, am all smiley through out the day (my chic hurts like mad), i get to eat lots of cake without guilt (hey, its my birthday now), i am entitled to N1500 credit from my Pop (funny man), i always look very very beautiful (or so i like to believe) and i am just generally on top of the world!

But right at this moment, the plans i have for my birthday are not it.

for one, i hope to miraculously get a break that day, which i already know wont happen except i fall very ill, ordinary illness doesnt get u a day off in my office, it must be obvious that u r about to die! i hope to lie down all day in bed, switch off my phones, eat a big chocolate cake with tea or something and watch movies or listen to good music and avoid all the drama and frenzy.

I also know that its all a dream, cos i will go to work, i dare not switch off my phone, i will even go to church, i will have a permanent smile plastered on my face and act nice and excited. i will do things that are absolutely different from my dream 27th birthday.

I do hope before then i would have shaken these feelings off, i usually feel this way (worried, cranky, mushy-mushy etc) when am ovulating and i think unlike normal girls, i ovulate 15 days or so. i dont even know how to calculate the dang thing, my doctor is so fed up. i just never know.

this is my latest ish, just wanted to share it with u.

i will create a list of things i want for my birthday, at least that will cheer me up. pls start preparing ur mind and saving of cos. thank ya!

PSS

saw MF yesterday, wanted to slice his 4 tyres or smash his windscreen, u know, just for the fun of it. but then, not even MF is worth so much energy. i finally realised then how fast it is to get over pple when u set ur mind to do it.

Salsa!!!!

2009-02-13T06:26:00.000-08:00

Just about mid last year, i found out there was a salsa dance club in Abuja. asides Dance with Me and some salsa music i listen to, i had no idea what salsa was all about, just know its a dance.

so, i went with my friend then to the Dome, i imagined it would be nice to see something else other than my colleagues at work, court rooms, church and boring lawyers.........

So, we went for salsa and i was so elated when i got there! i mean, it was such a beautiful sight! i never knew lots of Nigerians could salsa like that, it was so so beatiful. i got hooked right from that day. Of cos i couldnt make it every thursday and i didnt (and still havent) enrolled for classes plus MF was still in my life then and he made sure he played the what-do-they-do-there card whenever i wanna go and so naturally, i would stay with him than go for salsa.

But by October or so, i knew i wanted to have a life that a man would try to fit in to and not a life waiting to be filled up by some mystery man. it just might turn out to be a waiting for Igodo case (some home video, dont know what it means).

I got hooked and thursdays became happy days for me, i hardly miss salsa days. the only snag was that, the pros dont really like to dance with learners, i know it kills the fun but they can at least try. the slim and very fine girls get lucky, some pros try to come down to their level. and hey, i aint slim, but i consider myself beautiful, so i aint whining!

but eventually, i settled into it and made sure i had fun.

recently i found a patient teacher, he can dance with pros and find time for perpetual learners like me. you had to see me yesterday, i felt like a pro myself! with my skirt and high heeled sandals, turning and swinging and being so happy, of cos at the same time trying to ignore my painful feet!

On the dance floor, u find very interesting and funny xters. take for example, my funny neighbour that i invited. this bros dey very very igbotic (apologies to my igbo folks, aint yabbing u o biko!). this guy on the first day wore shirt and pants all tucked in and serious canoe looking shoes like he was going back to work! and then somehow he decieved himself into believing he could pick up fast cos he saw Dance with Me recently and practiced at home! oh boy, i pitied my friend who had to dance with him a whole of 30 mins during classes (they have 30mins class just before the party), the guy gripped her like he would grip iron! i had 3 mins of hell with him, i developed a migraine immediately. of cos, he must have figured the guy with the softer touch killed the migraine some 20 mins later.

there's also this funny guy who happens to attend my church. we call him "Mr. Stiff Neck". the guy dances like a zombie, he tells u where he wants u to move like a soldier giving command, imagine that kind of proud man trying to teach u to dance! and then, he probably thinks deodorants or perfumes were created for some other kind of people different from him. Mr. Stiff Neck! which makes me want to ask, pls how does one tell a guy politely to use a frigging deodorant or perfume without hurting his ego?! and that being a man does not give u the permission to "afro" ur armpit hair?! anyone has answers?

And theres the chic who was dancing last night, she wore jeans and left her fly open for whatever reasons. everyone had to bear the pains of watching her white strings! maybe am being bush, pls tell me, is that supposed to be some kind of fashion?!

Anyway, the point of all these plenty talk is this:

Its nice to have a life. Its nice to do something fun and interesting just for the purpose of being happy with yourself. Its much more fulfilling than praying and hoping and waiting for that person to come and spice up your life. Now i dont mean to sound like a Matyr or "Strong Woman", i do love love (and men), but theres more to life than waiting endlessly on him.

happy vals day people.

And i still expect my gift(s)!!

Red

2009-01-30T10:15:00.000-08:00

Valentine has come again and i am so glad its a saturday! i will so clean my crib, go to work and later to church (maybe) and wont witness too much lovey dovey things and gifts flying all over the place. I am not so sure church will be safe tho, all those chics with their gifts and calls and boyfriends..... pls!

Ok, i know i sound jealous and envious, truth is I am! i was kinda hoping this year would be better, with a better boyfriend (or the previous one get better), nicer gifts and all the works but alas, its not happening!

anyway, before u start abusing or pitying me (woreva), i have made plans alright. the plans still need money to actualise them and i am working towards obtaining from some stupid mugus around me now.
i intend to buy a whole jar of blue bunny, peppered spicey chicken, rich lovely and sinful chocolate cake from ovens and a few hours to myself, considering how annoyingly full and busy my saturdays are.

so, i have made my plans. let no man ask me whats up for vals except u want to send me somethng.
in case u want to, pls here are a few of my desires for val:

- a lovely bra (i am a 34 DD)
- perfumes (thats my latest fancy and no, i wear perfumes all the time, wont be my first) as long as its designer and its not JLO or FLOWER, pls!
- lovely wrist watch
- a sinful choc. cake

Great Discovery

2009-01-13T09:15:00.000-08:00

Just wanted to do a small post to lay the issue of MF to rest. Its not a very nice story, but i will do it all the same:

MF got married in December 2008. No, i did not know about it until last sunday and no, MF did not tell me about it. so a very "nice anonymous caller" called me to give me the info. Yes, i was shocked out of my brain, MF cant be that real.

anonymous caller gladly called again to let me know where to find the wedding pictures. very beautiful.

How do i feel? Hmm, thats a tough one but i will described it in a few words: i was numb, hurt, dumbfounded, stupefied, hurt. yeah, hurt.

MF found out about my blog somehow and read everything so he knew the truth about himself. So i know he will read this post too.

I am hurt and drained but gladly, am back on my feet. I am a great believer in "shit happens, get over it". so, am trying.

But i tell u this: it does hurt, hurt like crazy.

Lets see it as a fresh 09 just starting.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

2009-01-09T12:27:00.000-08:00

Hey y'all, happy new year!
I have really missed blogsville and all my padi's, Luscious, LG, Rayo, etc (Everyone)!

Xmas was sooo much fun! everyone was around, all my good ol' padis were around, we were just faffing around all over the place, i almost fell ill when i got back to life i.e. Abuja, work etc.

Cant say much now but i must tell u the crappy thing that just happened, hmmm, e gbami o!

Met Twart (he actually has a name but Twart suits him better than his real name right now) at some family friend's house, nice people. i actually met twart in my first year at uni but didnt remember until later after he reminded me endlessly, so he got my number etc. that he is praying for a wife this year, i just laffed it off, twart actaully got serious cos he started doing funny stuff all over the place (which is so annoying right now).

now, dont get me wrong, am not pissed cos i took him serious, a serious guy doesnt start with so much gizz gizz when he just meets u, afterall, he never know if u be winch, abi?
ntywayz, unto what he did:

so twart started toasting me heavily, seirously talking about how we will try and not let distance be our issue etc, and i said "guy, take it easy, we dont know each other yet" but guy just dey rush. he was asking everyone he knew who knew me all sort of questions, started introducing me as his wife, i was just having a laugh, after all, its no sin having fun like that, hey, its xmas!

short twart started developing cold feet just a day before he left Ils town for lag. he said the distance thingi is just begining to dawn on him. i just said, not to worry, i dont do distance thingi's too. he said i should pls lets give it a try and not give up on it. i said we will talk later.

not to long things sha, guy got to lag, started toasting my closest friend whom he met thru me! as in guy begin dey talk marriage with am! na wa o! crazy just seems an understatement. i mean, what kind of person would do that?

ntywayz, i wasnt rooting for him so its not like i was hurt anything. of cos my friend reported everything, i pretended like i didnt know. thats how twart started calling me repeatedly yesterday, asking if i was ok, why was i so cold, trash, trash, trash. i said "guy, norin do me o, am so good". guilt dey chop am.
after he disturbed me sha, i told him i was gonna call him after church (make stupid twarts like him no spoil my prayer). so i called him and told him what i thot of him for the way he acted.
Biko, ask me what twart said? "I WAS ONLY JOKING WITH YOUR FRIEND, NEVER KNEW SHE WOULD TAKE ME SERIOUS"! begging me o, that he couldnt do that etc!
my pipo, i craze o! how can he say such a stupid thing?! afterwards, he started begging my friend that its true he really likes her that she can be matured about it, he doesnt want to cause issues between 2 friends.

ntywayz, to cut the crap short, na so i just turn am to laffing stock o! presently he has a special ring tone on my phone "AN IDIOT IS CALLING" everybody don laff tire for my office as the idiot still calls me!

will talk about MF jare, another post (not like there's much talk tho).

wish y'all a CRAP and TWART free year! lera men!

TOILET ISSUES (2)!

2008-12-04T05:09:00.001-08:00

Hey Pipo, happy new month! i have missed u all. i never knew something could take me away from blogging for so long. ntywayzquickly before something takes me away again, i just have to tell u about this toilet issue thingi o! here goes:

in our complex, every office has got its own key to the toilet, a particular office has misplaced theirs, plus extra, so everyone wonders how they sort out their toilet issues, but no be our bizz until we started noticing about 3 or 4 wks ago, theres always pee diluted with lots of water on the floor of the toilet, everyone has to match it before entering their domain. so who can be doing this kind of horrible and highly disgusting stuff? everyone looks so creme, like they dont do No. 2, u know.

so our secretary said she saw a girl from the next office rush out of the toilet one day and later, she discovered pee and water on the floor again. we didnt catch her per se, so we were watching out.

Note: this chic is a creme chic, i mean, VERY CREME CHIC! she's got an officer boyfriend, one equally cute airforce officer boy o! this girl is so fine and gentle so i really was hoping it wasnt her.

so, yesterday, i saw this girl just stepping out of the loo, and i asked "xcuse me, u got ur key with u?" she said "no, i just went to adjust my dress". i was thinking "u, God don catch u today". so, we entered and saw fresh pee again, diluted with water and flowing all over the place, thats how i lost it and snapped! i sha tried not to embarrass her, i calmed her. so we 3 ladies called her and said she should get our toilet key when she needs to do her bizz. guess what my chic said "yes we dont have the key, but i always use the male toilet". why on earth would she come up with that kind of dumb stupid lie?!?!

why on earth would a lady, grown assed woman, do that kind of thing?!

i tell u, she's been on it for not less than 3 wks! which reminds me, we once saw some kind of "dysentry shit" on the floor! yes, on the clean, tiled toilet floor! now u ask me, who done it?!

whenever i see her, i remember 2 things: pee and shit!!!

P.S:
MF is back (LG, Rayo and Lusciousron, i can hear u say "stupid girl")
what he is back for and what i intend to do, i have no idea.
details later on the next post.

Longest Time

2008-11-26T04:40:00.000-08:00

Halloz!
Its been ages, havent been blogging (obviously) or reading any blogs, its been crazy! work is practically drowning me! will do a real post soon, not like anything special has happened asides work. will be right back sha.

miss y'all!

Response to Rape:

2008-11-07T06:50:00.000-08:00

Like i said, the issue of Rape and Indecent Dressing has been highly overflogged already (woreva dat means) but for what its worth, our views are important, at least, some big lawyers still think its important abi? Lets reform Nigeria!

1. Should indecent dressing be a defence for the offence of rape?

The very obvious answer to this is NO!

so my very rich and careless neighbour leaves his house wide open and so i enter into it, steal his things and then i got caught and thrown into jail, my defence: he didnt lock his house.

I can assure u that somewhere at the back of my mind, i had always wanted to steal from my rich neighbour, the fact that he didnt lock his house was just some added bonus to make my stealing job easier. but then, i still get to go to jail, why?! bcos i STOLE!!! my neighbours refusal to lock his house, without conceding to carelessness is not a ground or an invitation for me to steal. i had the pre-requisite actus, i.e intention to steal from my neighbour.

i must add at this point that i am not an advocate for indecent dressing, i believe strongly in decency. to save repitition, more of this on 2.

2. In line with 1 above, again, should the Bill of the Senate on Indecent Dressing be looked into again and passed into law?

Again, a very strong and passionate NO!

Even after all the very serious issues that Nigeria has to look into and solve, the Bill on Indecent Dressing will still not be looked into.

What is indecent dressing anyway?

According to whose view and perception and beliefs are we going to base our definition of indecent dressing?

Can such person's view/perception/beliefs be universally accepted? i.e will it not offend some other person's view and opinion?

without going into unnecessary religious arguments, what is decent according to a muslim is very different from a xtian's definition of decency. and then, within the xtian circle, we start talking about what is accepted in some denominations, in my church for example, except u r a worker, u could wear almost 'anything' to church and if glares dont generally make u uncomfortable, then, u have no problems. meanwhile, if my father enters my own church, he probably will think satan himself dwells amongst us.

then we start talking about modes of dressing for some specific places. is anyone supposed to dress in iro and buba or suit to a club? or when a benin girl is getting married, will she be disallowed from wearing her traditional garb which could be likened to our modern day "tube dress"? do we seriously have time for this kind of triviality?

another main issue why it wont work, just like lusciousron said, the police will abuse it. i in my decent knickers (if its allowed) while jogging may be arrested (and molested) and then eventually beg and bribe my way to get out of a stupid cell. while on the other hand, a girl like me in bum shorts will be arrested but released so fast bcos she is Senator/Gov/Rich Man ............... daughter/girlfriend/niece! where is justice? in some cases, there can never be justice.

Anyway, no need to long things, we simply do not have the time, resources etc to start paying some already over fed men to start discussing this issue, we have a lot on our plates already!

3. Can a man be raped?

hmm, now, this is tricky!

the definition of rape provides only for a woman or a girl (dont want to start quoting the whole legal thingy). so technically, a man cannot be raped!

somehow, i dont just believe a man can be raped sha, i mean, he has the "controlling instrument" that cannot really be manipulated. its designed and created in such a way that makes it to be in control of affairs (even i am laughing).

the female organ on the other side, is built and designed to be at the recieving end.

on the other hand, if the provision is re-written in such a way that it includes "boy or man without his consent", then, maybe a man can be raped (still sounds funny tho, men always seem to consent to this).

4. Should there be an offence of rape between married people? i.e Can a man rape his legally married wife?

now, this is one other very tricky part!

hmm............ lets see.

i will give a full YES if and only if the couple in question are separated. if there is a legal separation, either a decree nisi or absolute, and then the man goes to where his wife (or about to be ex) resides and forcefully has sex with her, then, that is rape (or what they think should be spousal rape or marital sexual assault or somfin funny like that).

i will also say yes, if the husband has contracted some STD and has refused to be treated and still forces his wife to have sex, then, we could call it rape.

but when the couple are still together, not on the verge of some divorce or separation, they are in a state of what we call "bliss", how can we call madam's no and oga's cajoling and etc rape? somehow, the fact that there is not only a marriage, but a subsisting one in a state of "bliss" somehow does knock off the full effect of rape, i mean, rape?!!

we also must not fail to look into something important, if the husband has "raped" his wife, so to speak, will she still go ahead to sue him and expect the marriage to continue? in other words, is some "forced sex" ground enough to file for divorce?

what about the kids?

isnt the marriage some sort of proof for consent?

i will defer in my opinion if and only if, the husband is a total freak, who doesnt believe sex is good sex until he beats her, chains her, perform anal sex, introduce funny objects into her vagina or invite a third party (or 4th, 5th, 6th parties) into the show (without her consent tho, who knows, both of them might be total freaks) or generally, have "unnatural sex" with her.

ok, so, this might be rape of some sort.

(i know lots of u will disagree, let me know about it)

another issue is consent and its funny. abeg, is it possible to withdraw consent? at what stage?

i mean, guy is all up and ready and u know it, u wanted it sef, and suddenly, "stop, i cant"!

will it be rape if he continues?! not fair on the man o!

u may have to read the first post to have full import of this post.

would love to hear (or read) ur comments.

Thanx!

Rape

2008-11-05T05:08:00.000-08:00

Yesterday i was at this Law Reform Workshop, one of those law thingys that my boss forces everyone to attend. I usually find them boring, i go there thinking "how does this change Nigeria or even the legal system? What do these overfed legal luminaries know etc,".
But yesterday was different, i really enjoyed it cos they discussed a hot topic: Rape/Sexual Assault.

Basically, the workshop was to review and amend, if necessary, the statutory provisions concerning sexual offences, rape being the main offence. They have to know if the definition of rape, consent etc according to the laid down laws were adequate enough to accomodate all sorts of sexual offences.
Will not bother u with the definitions and all.

However, some very interesting, and rather hot issues were raised. they are often common issues but i will like to know ur take on these issues.

1. Should indecent dressing be a defence for the offence of rape? this discussion came up there and of course, everyone was against indecent dressing, but should it really be a defence by a man who has raped a woman?

2. In line with 1 above, again, should the Bill of the Senate on Indecent Dressing be looked into again and passed into law?

3. Can a man be raped?

4. Should there be an offence of rape between married people? i.e Can a man rape his legally married wife? (this is the most important).

So, before i post the rest on this topic, i want to know what Blogsville think.

PS:
i sat with a very cute guy, it made it more fun! details later.

And how can i not say how happy i am for Obama?!! Congrats everyone, i mean, this is good news for everyone. I see it this way: Its a message of hope, there is nothing impossible or unreachable, there is no dream too big to imagine.
May this ending year bring us much hope, and may the good unexpected happen to us all!