Diet, Val, Bags and other Ish

Hi pipo!

So am getting better by the day on my diet thingi. breakfast today is lettuce (which i really really hate), carrot, tomatoes basically. i sprinkled some baked beans (just a few) and sweet corn so it wont taste so boring, otherwise, i'd throw up. Today i just feel like bread and very rich butter but so far, am winning over cravings. i shall be doing my progress result every now and then.

I've always wondered, why do we ladies clutter our handbags? some ladies (including myself sometimes) just fill it with things we dont really need or we'll never use but just throw it in there all the same. whats in ur bag this moment? are they all necessary? in my bag i have:

MAKE UP BAG: i only use the lip gloss and powder once in a while at work so i wonder why i still carry it around, maybe to feel like a girl?

JOURNAL: useful for taking notes in church basically or to read/write when i have to wait at some boring place which is like....once in a blue moon? but i still carry it around.

WALLET: but of cos! dont be decieved sha, except i have crisp notes, u wont find money in it, i keep money in purses in the bag.

NUTRI C: i've been carrying these 3 satchets for like 2 wks now, wont drink it, wont give it out and wont keep them elsewhere, i just forget!

SUNSHADES: essential in this Abuja's hot sun (or posing sha). i also have a black ink marker, pencil and biro - i need only the biro and wont remember the drop the rest. another small note book which is serving no purpose, mouth freshner, phones, hair ribbon, hand cream, orbit and baby wipes just finished. not too much junk eh?

So here's my val wish list, pls dont say i didnt give u enough notice, of cos the gifts dont have to reach on val day gan gan, u know. and feel free to pick more than one item:

PERFUME(S) - doesnt have to be one, preferably Elizabeth Arden, anything convinient

WRIST WATCH - I love swatch. Any nice wrist watch would do.

CHOCOLATES/CAKE - u r so not allowed to wave the diet card this moment, its val's day!!! nobody can be that mean! I'll resume to eating leaves right after that and will burn it off.

MYNE WHITMAN'S NOVEL - pls check her blog for details

JOURNAL - i need a nice bible/personal rant journal, preferably pink

SHOPAHOLIC SERIES - any of Sophie Kinsella's books, except "Shopaholic and Sister"

of course i would love shoes and dresses too but that would be too much trouble for u and i dont want to be a bother. am so considerate! or u could just send the money if u dont want to do all these wahala. just indicate ur choice in the comment sector.

lovely things not included in the list are also very welcome. operating word being "lovely"

PS:

uncle Agbaya just left my office, was in court and decided to come see me. he came to woe me some more and tell me what other ways that adultery will be beneficial. some people just no dey hear one time sha?!?!

he threatened subtly that now am posing, when he becomes "bigger boy" he will not have my time to which i replied "no problem and still, nothing for u now or later, Sir".

I just dey laff, na wa!

PS:

aint we just happy about the removal of the Attorney-General? its been long overdue and am excited about it. Guy should just resign if he has any intergrity but then, who said he has in the first place?

PSS:

thanx Myne et al that told me how to upload pictures, as u can see, i now know!

Thanx!

Benefits of Adultery

During my internship days before law school, i met this lawyer, very brilliant, hard working and all the works. He works in a very popular and prestigious law firm and was the head of chambers. He took us tutorials during law school days. This short background is to let you know how much i respect and rever this "Oga".

Sometime 2008/09, i had this feeling Oga was behaving funny, i couldnt really describe it but i knew. He had always been nice to me, now he was nicer, wanting to touch my cheeks etc.
I kept hoping i was wrong but i couldnt be bothered, i dont see him that often and whenever i see him, i do the very-respectful-yoruba-girl thingi; kneel, say "Sir" every minute etc.

So yesterday Oga found the courage to tell me his mind. That he knew why i was being overly respectful so that he wont be able to say his mind and that i was running away "you know i like you now and you are a matured lady, kilonse e now?" what is wrong with you now?
In my mind i went "Shuo?!?!"

Oga launched into toasting sorry, friendship proposal. Started telling me how the friendship will be beneficial, wont cause any problems btw me and my boyfriend cos he wont know and he wont be coming to my house or sending text messages, how nobody will know, how he will be able to take good care of me. It will be a matured thing, we wont meet in common places, he has a discreet hotel, we wont be sending messages, its not a big deal. we will just be meeting once in a while (i guess meeting connotes sex) and nobody will know. He wont get me pregnant cos he has no plans of marrying me, its just friendship and when i want to get married he will play his part well (give me money and attend), its just benefits all the way!

"Oga, am a xtian, i dont do all these things, its wrong."

"Ehn, am i not a xtian too? there's nothing wrong with it, it just requires understanding and maturity".

He went on to tell me that several girlfriends of his had the same objection in the past just like me but they got over it and enjoyed the friendship eventually.

Shuo my people, see me see issue o! If i didnt know better, i wouldnt have thought we were talking about adultery again! I almost clapped at him for the beautiful presentation. I told u, he's a good lawyer, lol.

Anyway, to get him off my back, i told him i'll call him and we'll talk later. I left the place adequately dazed. Not bcos he was toasting me, men hardly shock me, but the way and manner in which he painted it, you could have thought we were discussing about the advantages of buying a duplex over a bungalow and not adultery.

Am not trying to be Mother Theressa here but really and truly, what could the advantages be that will make someone decide to be 2nd fiddle? pay my rent, buy me a car (very unlikely sef), dash me plenty money. I'll be busy with the "friendship" and let all the marriable young mans pass by and then i'll probably wake up one day and see that i've been stupid?
Hell No! tufiakwa!
to what end na?

PS
there's a new blogger, Bubu. Lets show her some love. its: bubu-myspace.blogspot.com

E gba mi fa!

The thing wey single girl eye go see, no be small thing o!

I recently met this "Uncle" who works next to my office. Someone franctically called me like it was a life or death matter and i looked up to see this short elderly man, so out of respect, didnt know what he was going to say, i went to meet him, na im tory start o!

He started telling me of how he has been seeing me for a long time and he had really liked me and been praying one day he meets me formally. Where im dey see me? For Mama calabar spot (a canopy covered spot where office folks eat just behind my office). he said he always sees me and my colleague come eat there often. why im no come meet me since that time? He didnt want to be rude etc, etc (he no even say make e try pay for my meal once, shio!)

Why wont he like me, afterall, i get big front and back, u had to see his eyes roming and roving thru his glasses, oniranu!

So he introduced himself, took my number (i still dont know why i did that) and na im we begin love;

This Uncle makes me laff ehn! He said he spent all of his life in lagos and so he considers himself to still be one Omo Boy, young boy. He plays all the latest music in town and uses slangs so i can know that He calls me baby.

Now theres a difference btw Baby and Baby. For those of us who had a bit of razz with butter while growing up, u will remember how they call dolls "baby". Thats exactly how he calls me o!

The Uncle is short and probably thinks of himself as one very correct bobo, the man can pose!

Ntywayz, he has been calling me o, offering to drop me everywhere, i should feel free to call him so we can hang out etc, etc.

Abeg, where i for follow am go biko?

Only recently, he came up with the idea of him being in love and that he is afraid that i will break his heart one day etc, etc. love ke?! see this big mumu o!

When girl sit down jeje that she no dey do married men, see the kind issues wey dey confront them. theres even nothing to milk dry in this short Uncle o!

I have plans for him sha, by the time i carry 3 of my friends follow am go Biobak and we take half of his life savings chop fresh fish and snail, and go to Ceddi plaza to buy make up and watch moveis, he will automatically delete my number, agbaya oshi!

i will still leave him around for a week, he dash me 5k last friday, no be bad thing now, abi?

which brings me to ask: Why on earth do married men cheat?! (Jamb question abi?) The things these agbayas are ready to do for small small girls, their wives will have to practically seek the face of God, fast and then prepare their best dish just to ask for whatever! While these same men are mere toys to some other girls, u flash them and they are ready to come from Gwagwalada to Wuse! O ga o!

I know this is a popular topic and we it in the office recently and my colleague said she doesnt wanna know if her husband cheats, as long as she doesnt know about it and he hasnt stopped doing his responsibilities, she doesnt mind. this is what most women think, what u dont know wont hurt u etc, etc.

i havent been able to accept this fact o, its just so unnacceptable! what do y'all think?

Onto Private Matters:

Mr. Nice.

Again.

Back again with full force!

I think am done with anyone trying to make me feel guilty. Nice is such a wonderful and nice and caring and all those things guy. I just happen not to like him, ok, thats not totally true, i can barely stand the guy (see older post on Jacob and Esau).

recently i started feeling weird like: am i doing the right thing? should i just manage? he is a good guy ready to be everything for me etc but i dont have to try to like someone am dating, like should be the first thing!

He still came over last nite, we went over the WHOLE saga again (he just called now, he is coming to see me, again!).

happily, i discovered something last nite, i have always known he is much older than me but yesterday, i discovered that he is SO older than me, in fact, not within my age bracket AT ALL! so i can gladly turn him down even in my mind and not feel guilty about it. abi now?