Hey Pipo!

I know I was to continue my last post but you know how it is, some deadline, bosslady, life generally just kept me away.
Now I cant even remember what I was gonna blog about so this is gonna be some random ish.

I've got cramps again. I am sincerely and truly tired of cramps. Now it has a new thing it does apart from normal tummy ache, back ache and foul mood. Now my legs ache like crazy! I cant even describe the pain, its just painful (yeah, thats why its called pain abi) and annoying.

Some dude has infected my new HP laptop with virus. Its called security guard. I cant do anything with it. The guy was watching some dumb baseball game, forming some akata kinda thing and thereby exposing my computer. To cap it all he was behaving like he knew just how to deal with it. Next time i see him, I shall treat him like virus - guy u r viral!

Oh I've finally registered! I had given up on it cos I just didnt see myself joining any of those hopeless and endless queues. But my Mum and Bubbly were begining to make me feel like I was doing something very evil by not struggling to register. He had gone to his home town to register. So he got his friends, this very nice family to help write my name down which they did as early as 4 am! I had to leave home before 6 to go and monitor my name and then queue. It was so fast and I was done before 9.30am. I was so grateful but when I saw the queues in other places, I wanted to go back and kneel down to say thanks. I really hate queues. In school there was always some back door means for me to avoid queue. I paid for it all in camp when I had to queue for registration. I dont wanna remember those days mehn.
So i have my reg card. The picture is prolly the ugliest I've ever taken in my life tho, lol. I no care jare.

So I was at Salsa yesterday, it was so much fun. There was this funny guy who I had never seen before. He asked me to dance, he is obviously learning cos his steps lacked rythm. Guess what, he actually thot I was learning - it was a laughable scene. U know say pesin na learner/novice, im come begin dey treat u like say na u no sabi. He was actually encouraging me: "yeah, you're doing good, just keep going". Trust me, I kuku no talk. I said "pls try to come down to a learner's level, I am still struggling". Of cos he knew later when I danced with other people, for im mind e for don say "chei, i don jump sha!"

Ok, am going. This pain is frustrating!

Nice week y'all!

Didnt find a title...

Hey people, now let me say it properly: Happy New Year!
May this be a very good year for us, with lots and lots of wonderful things installed for us IJN!

I have missed my internet family like crazy!
So much to talk about...

First, the reason for my seeming disappearance. The year started on a busy note. Bosslady as usual made sure there were lots of things to come back to, so i kinda got very busy first week. I told myself I wasnt gonna read blogs until I had done some work, its not a resolution, i dont do resolutions cos it just fails.
So i have been working and faffing around somewhat.

You had to see me when i got home (I travelled home for Xmas), i was grinning like an idiot and ransacked every room to see whats new and stealable. God it was good to see my mum and everyone else, but especially my Mum! We both couldnt stop smiling. I got nice treatments for the first 3 days, after that, it was just pretty normal.

Christmas day wasnt bad. Not bad at all. Somehow, Xmas isnt as fun as it used to be when we were kids. Then u could drink as many bottles of fanta as ur tummy could take without anyone questioning you and show off your new dress and shoes and that was fun. Now, I just wanna chill.
Somehow and thankfully too, all my friends were home for Xmas and we did the usual hanging out and discussing the political status of our dear country. Its more fun as we are all lawyers. We all talk like we talk to GEJ and everyone of importance one on one. Its nice.
And my darling friend is preggers! She looked cute!

So Church on Xmas day wasnt so much fun: EVERYONE is married. well, at least, most of my peers. So we do this welcome thing where u leave your seat to greet people. I could swear that all the women that greeted me were either saying (in their minds of course) that:
"Hmm, this girl is still not married. Such a nice girl. Eeh yah..."
or
"Hmm, this one still never marry, how she go marry, Abuja money don enter her eye, see the way she is dressed sef..."
Dont ask me how i know, I just know. Omo, na dem sabi jare.

I missed Bubbly like crazy. It was mad! I was away for just 10 days and it felt like one month.
I returned to Abuja on the 30th. Couldnt bear it anymore, lol.
We kinda caused a scene at the airport. It was so so emotional! Hmm, love o love!

Meanwhile, my trip back was not funny. Az in, not funny mehn!
Na road I dey take waka from Abuja home o. Until this time, I decided to come back by air to avoid that Lokoja road, its always crazy.
So i entered this plane/kombi bus. It was so small and noisy and I sat near the propellers No be say I no dey fly o but I have never been in one so small and with propellers! I kept praying and speaking in tongues and still imagining what would happen if the propellers just stop. I said "No God, pls, dont let me die like this, I still wanna marry Bubbly!".

The guy beside me kept gisting with me to take my mind off it. I asked him what would happen if the propellers stopped working and he said there is some plan B they usually have. I asked him if he was sure, he smiled and said no. I wanted to kill him. It was so funny when we landed cos I forgot in a moment when I saw Bubbly.

Will continue this tommorow.... Gotta go see my tailor.

Finally I met Myne Whitman!

Yes i did!

I saw her last post just yesterday and found she was in town and at some Infusion program - readings, poetry, art, music...

Myne looked very pretty and it was nice meeting her - again. She read some excerpts from her book and she did it so gracefully. I was expecting her to be very americanized and you know, do serious phone but she didnt, unlike some people that I know. She was just her correct self and it was beautiful. Proud of you Myne. You were fan-bloody-tastic!

So finally I've got my own copy of A Heart to Mend and duly autographed, yippie!

Tried to take a picture of it and thats the best i got (again, the picture was to be inserted here but blogger decided to disobey me).

It was a nice evening, have never been to those book reading club thingis so it was a nice thing to see. It was nice to go fo something different, lots of bookies. Maybe I will go again...

There was this very funny lady, Lola, who anchored the program, she's quite funny. She kept talking about "deeping your hands into her warm bucket" i cant even explain, it was funny sha.

If there was a fellow blogger there, I didnt know.

Could have sworn my posts were already a 100 but blogger keeps telling me, 97 or 98. I think i will just count myself...

Today is my last day at work this year, yay!!! Some of the perks of being a civil servant I guess. Judges have to go on vac so if Oga no dey office.... figures. I hope to skip out on Tuesday to my folks and be back before the new year God's grace. Am dreading the trip though, Gwagwalada - Lokoja route has been a nightmare. Someone got to lag around 1.30am this morning after taking off around 8 am or so.

I'm not going to lag but I hope to leave early and beat the traffic.

If there's anything I pray to see in Nigeria, its not just good leadership, but for the train system to work again, life will be so much easier! Air fares will reduce, lots of cars will be off the road and you will get to your destinations faster. I really pray that very soon, that will work in Nigeria. If any presidential aspirant makes that one of his goals, gba, I shall not only vote for him but make sure I get him plenty votes too. I know what you are thinking, he might not do it right? Yeah, and we shall plot a coup to remove him, shikena!

I'm really really looking fwd to xmas and seeing my folks again. Mama Omotee has been enticing me with all the things she will cook for me and buy for me when I come, makes me feel like I was in boarding school again. Whenver I came home from school then, I will enter every room to see whats new and bury myself in mum's room last to see the new things she's got and inevitably, the things i will "borrow"or "steal". I still do that at almost 30 years old.

And something else I still do - I still collect öwo aso odun from Prof. Yep, i still do. I shall collect money for xmas cloth on the 23rd or 24th. He tells me each year that I am too old for that and I tell him each year that I am still his daughter and still entitled to that money. I still collect money for offering in church too (yeah LG and Ron, this is where u scream agbaya, na una know).

I'll go count my posts now and get to the 100th already, haba!

Thanksgiving, aso ebi, tailors etc

Thanks for all the lovely comments on my last post, its kind to have people who care.
Chacha, thanks for the text, you are a darling.

Yesterday, I and one nice lady who gives me a ride to work were talking about tailors and aso ebis. The amount people ask to pay for aso ebis these days, na wa!
I mean, seriously, why 50k, 80k for aso ebi?! Is this me been too.... frugal?
My friend, who is married with 2 kids has this mummy figure in their church. The woman has really been good to them in lots of ways, you sha get it, she means a lot to them.
So mummy's son is getting married and the aso ebi is 70k and in lagos.
He has decided he isnt buying but his wife will buy, you know us Naijas with all those ties and how we feel indebted to people. So by the time he calculates the amount he will spend on flight, hotel accomodation, transportation within lag and aso ebi, you are talking about N200k. On one person's wedding! SHUO! We are not even talking gifts o. The guy is just a lawyer like me struggling to make ends meet and then he will throw 200k on a non-relative's wedding? Thats a tad too much and I so hold.
I like the idea of aso ebi but then, no be everybody wey u call come ur wedding get armed robber salary or be governor pikin. I tink people should embrain demsef abeg!

Speaking of aso ebi, its closely linked to tailors. E be like say d day wey dem do freedom for most tailors, dem swear for dem join.
To find a good tailor is not that hard. But from experience, i notice that once they sew about 5 cloths for you without too much dissappointment, the rest counting from 6 will be disastrous.
Take my Abraham for example, i gave him 2 materials for my friend's wedding, 2 months ahead of time with payment. Guy did not make my cloths o! He kept posting me. On the eve of the wedding (which was in ilorin), Abraham was neither in his shop nor had he made my cloth!
I did small were for him: I called him and said I will lock his apprentice up, break his shop and pack his machine and valuable customers cloths.
In short, he showed up and we had to carry him and his machine to my house to finish my cloth in my passage cos he didnt have light in his shop. He finished just one of them around 4am. And the trend goes on. I pray the new one will keep his sanity longer than Abraham.

Its thanksgiving, yay! Yeah right, like am in America. But i always love this period, it ushers in xmas. I feel chrismasy already.
There's so much to be thankful for. If i do a list, it will be very looooooooooooooooooooong! Just a few of the items on that list:

Journey mercies: You'll appreciate God more if you live in Naija and travel the Abuja-Lokoja route. Its a miracle everytime I pass thru that horrible road.
Job: Even tho my boss frustrates me a lot and make me cry, I still cant imagine life without a job.
Family: Love them, in spite of the little little annoyances here and there, its lovely to belong to a family.
Bubbly: Aww, what can I say...... He's God's personal sprinkle of sugar on my life.
Blog Family: Extra spice of life.
Friends: I believe so much in friendship and I've been blessed with good ones.

A whole lot more on that list, will take me the whole day.
God's been so kind. For all those little, big, known and unknown blessings bestowed on us. I am really really thankful.

So what are u grateful for this thanksgiving?

PS:

Still need the questions to answer for my 100th post. Keep them coming!

Today I let it all out... And it feels good

I spent a better part of my working hours today in writing an epistle to my father...

If you've been frequent on this blog, you might have known a thing or two about my family. Basically, its not the normal kind of family. My parents try to co-exist under the same roof, they hardly talk and just try to stay out of each other's hair. But of course, if there are loads of scores to settle between two people, minding their own business cant be that easy; there's always going to be clashes.

I grew up knowing the situation between them to be rocky and I never really enjoyed a close and loving relationship with my Dad. He's loving in his own way but very difficult and intolerant. Lots of issues that I have chosen to get past.

So Monday morning I open my box to find an e-mail, actually an epistle from him. It was actually written to an Uncle and then he copied me. Going into the details will take me the whole day to explain.
Anyway, i took the opportunity to express emotions that have been bottled up inside of me all these years.
Somehow I have always wanted to but then I calculate what it might result into: the accussations, ensuing epistles, plenty talks, more hostility when I go home etc and just shove it aside. My mum thinks its me being scared but its not, its just me managing the situation the best I can. At least I dont have to see him or talk to him that often and am grown now, its not like he's gonna flog me or deny me school fees.

It took me a lot to forgive my Dad for some of the things I held against him. I hated him and then later I just simply made him irrelevant in my life.

But all that's changed now. God could have a lot of sins to hang over my head if He chose to but He doesnt so I ought to be able to forgive anyone. Even my Dad. Plus when you refuse to forgive someone who has wronged you, somehow, you empower them.

Now I love him and pray for him but dont get too close so we dont have issues.

But today, after lots of prodings and encouragement, I wrote that epistle and expressed myself, without being rude. I dont know what it will cause but I want to believe its the best thing to do.

Last week I and Bubbly had the biggest row ever, out of anger we considered breaking up. It was so scary but thank God we settled the issues and are back again.
I know I want a very successful and happy marriage, I dont want to go thru what my mother went thru or put my children in such difficult situations. I may not have emperical knowledge about marriage but I sure do know it can work if both parties determine to make it work, with the resolve to both give it the sacrifice and tolerance it needs.
I also know it takes very little and almost irrelevant issues to destroy a marriage that has all the potentials to work.
Sometimes I get scared and wonder if mine will go down that way too. But most of the time, I assure myself that it wont because I want it to work and Bubbly is not my father.

I am relieved I did that epistle today.

My Boss is a ******!!!

Happy New month people.

Its feeling christmasy already init? or is it just me?


About that title, hmmm, after this post/rant, you can put the appropriate word/phrase.

Last Saturday was one of the most annoying days of my life, literarily.
You know when something's not going nicely and there's not one thing u can do about it? yeah, thats how it was.

I'll give u a little background info. Bosslady is actually a family friend, so while the work is professional, there's lots of unprofessional duties assigned to me that i have to do, unfortunately so. I am a Legal Assistant, Personal Assistant, Registrar, Daughter and lots of other duties that i dont even know how to describe. And i cannot complain.
You know how in Nigeria, your merits arent the only thing to get a job, connections matter too. Thats how i got this job. Thats not to say i dont deserve the job or anything. And i dont get special favours or anything. She is bloody meticulous and my work, like everyone in our office is 2ce that of our counter-parts. Anyway, u get the idea, i no fit complain.

So in that vain, last friday she said we'll be going somewhere together on Saturday. Some occassion. I was to be at her house for 7am and i was. Amidst my cramps and all.
For the life of me, i could not have imagined we were travelling out of town - some village in Kogi state, 4 hours trip!!!! As in, it did not tally with my saturday plans at all. i imagined at worse i'll be done with her by 4pm max. I must have been dreaming a very silly dream.

I was mad, angry, livid (same meaning i guess). I yelled and ranted and raved at her. In the confines and comfort of my mind of course. That was just bloody unfair. She had no reason, absolutely none to not tell me where we were going. Haba! I am a frigging adult and that does not come within my scope of duties.
She has this thing of being Jamesbondish with her routine - she doesnt really tell people she's travelling or where she's going - I get it and i honestly dont mind. As long as am not going with her. But in this case, I was in the picture, i damn well deserved to know I was going out of town.
I know there must be some reason for it, I just dont know what yet.

So, typical me, i ranted a bit to Bubbly, swallowed my anger and just tried to enjoy the trip. Read and slept. It was someone's 80th birthday. We took off around 4pm and didnt get back to Abuja around 9.30 pmish. Traffic at Kwali and Gwags.
Another shocker - We didnt eat! Yep. My stomach was empty save for some stupid digestive biscuits we had on our way back. I had to eat it cos i had to take cataflan for my cramps.
I know and pray and have faith that that kind of day will never come back again. It was just wrong.

Bubbly was so mad. He's been mad at her for a while now but thats a different book entirely.....Some political/family issues......

He is asking me to consider another job but i believe when its time for me to leave, i will leave, not just bcos my Boss is a ...... feel free to fill in the gap.
There's a reason i took this job, and i considered that it might not be easy. Until that reason is fulfilled, am not letting anyone frustrate me out of it. Not even boss lady.

Enough rants already - Phew! Good thing i let that out eventually.

So this is wishing y'all a nice wknd thats free of crap and crappy people.

PS:
Dont forget to title my post!

Ciao!

Best Break-Up Method

I appreciate all the advice you guys gave in my last post. Thanks. Hopefully, this matter has been laid to rest.

I had this discussion with some of my friends, all male on the best way to break up with your girlfriend.
I was of the opinion that the particular method does not really matter, pesin wey no dey do no dey do, u no fit force am.
I've always thot waiting for a guy to develop courage or time or whatever to tell you to your face that its over is like hoping for something that may not happen.
Personally, i have not met many guys who would prefer to break up with u face to face. The ones i know are the usual cowards (no offense) who would expect you to read the signs and move on.

Out of the 3 or 4 boyfriends (sometimes i get confused as to the correct number) that i've ever had, only one seemed to be bold enough to say he needed a break for a little while to "get himself together". The other ones pretty much used the "sign language" to break up with me.
What i've tagged "Sign language" usually occurs in the following stages:

- you always call him, he hardly ever calls anymore
- he is always so busy he hardly has time to pick your calls
- when he does pick your call, he apologises and asks that you pls let him call you back which he never gets round to doing for say.... 3 days
- he avoids every kind of meeting where you'll ask him what exactly is going on
-if you are lucky to find him at home or anywhere, he will make sure the environment is not condusive for such talks or he falls ill. Either ways, no discussion takes place

I know most girls prefer that a guy breaks-up with them face to face. Usually so they can have "Closure". Why this method is prefered, i really dont understand. I am not sure I like the face to face method.

I believe you should start suspecting something is really wrong when you get to stage 2. At that point, really, the game is over and waiting for him to tell you to ur face that its over is not really paramount. But hey, thats just omotee.

So the real question is, would you rather a guy broke up with you over the phone or via text message or via e-mail or giving signs or do it face to face?
Whats the best break-up method?

Rich Kids and School Fees

I dont have an apt title for this rant but I know what am saying.

A friend was gisting me the amount a secondary school, one of those international wannabes charge for a session for a JS1 kid. Pls guess? Anyone? N1.4 million (one million, four hundred thousand Naira) for a JS 1 child! An SS1 student just joining the school has to pay N1.6 million. Yep, u heard me. for a session!!!!

Ok, so am not a rich kid, never have been so the idea is CRAZY to me. So, does anyone agree with me that this is some kind of madness????!!!

We can say, well, thats for rich kids now. i will tell u. my friend, a fellow lawyer like me (pls be informed, practising lawyers in abuja generally earn peanuts) enrolled his 1 yr old kid for kindgergaten. pls note, all they do is teach them a few songs and make them sleep. they paid about a 100k for that child and no, thats not been outrageous, thats one of the fair prices u can get.

The secondary school thing is particularly annoying bcos its not like angels or professors teach these kids, normal people do. except u count one of those few oyinbos that circumstance bring them here to come and teach as extraordinary. i do not also think the ACs in their class rooms and cyber cafes are extraordinary factors too that warrant the charge of such exhorbitant prices.

For some parents, its not so much about their wish to get the best education for their kids, its about their own status and pride so they can say: "my kid attends such and such school, its very expensive".
i was reading the first edition of Flair, formerly TrueLove and there was this article about parents using the school their kids attend to show that they've got "Class". Those housewives dress to the teeth just to go and drop their kids and go back home o. But i digress....

Just before u go off thinking, "Omotee, u r saying this bcos u dont have that kind of money now or u r just beefing the rich". Not exactly. Of cos i pray and hope to be rich too. But its not necessarily for N1.4m school fees and thats not me not caring about my kids education.
However, am just worried about other people who will never be that rich and will never be able to afford that kind of fees.

The idea of public school is gradually dissappearing, everyone think its for the very poor people so everyone either has their own school or attends the Rich school or flies abroad. Truth is, we all wish to study above but we all shall not be able to do that. We all cannot be able to afford to pay N1.4 mill per session for our kids.
Federal Govt Colleges used to be the best schools then, but now? Nobody wants to send their kids there so the standards have dropped, they are practically abandoned. Its all about private schools now. But the truth is, not everyone can attend a private school.

I ask again, is it such a terrible idea to resuscitate public schools?

I saw a documentary on Rivers state and saw that the Governor is building a big public school, has all the good plans and ideas for the school. If the idea for the school becomes a reality, with all i heard, nobody will be under tremendous pressure to send their kids to public schools bcos all the ACs and nice structures and good teachers in the private schools are also in the public schools.

If this trend goes on without a solution, its gonna be sad.
All schools will gradually become private. Public schools will remain in the village.
It will be said cos the rich kids and poor kids will all grow up and be in the same society.
Rich kid attends great school, becomes a good child, gets good job, gets rich and buy great expensive things just to make life comfortable.
Poor kid attends bad school or no school, never finds a job at all, has no money to even eat.

Here's where they all meet:
Poor kid becomes armed robber or militant and robs or kidnaps rich kid. in an unlucky situation, poor kid kills rich kid.

The world is a complete circle; we all still meet somehow.

So, is it just me or this is an actual issue?

Where is LG?? And MDM?

Hi loves!

This aint a real post.

Where is LG (Lady Guide)?? the girl has dissappeared, like lots of people. Anyone knows her? Just concerned.
And MDM (Miss Definitely Maybe; My Mother's Child). Anyone who has news, pls lets know. Know nothing is wrong with them, just concerned.

Blog Awards:

Tried to nominate, think its the hardest thing (asides doing my actual job), there are a zillion bloggers and a million ones that deserve awards. will see.

have a great week everyone!

no title

Hi Pipo, hope u r having a better life/day/month?

I thot the month had started on a good note until later in the day yesterday when my boss got into a rage.
My boss is quite nice and friendly but is also one of the most difficult person on earth. she wants things to be done properly and orderly, no problem with that but her definition of properly and orderly changes every frigging day and its just hard to keep up. what was right and proper yesterday is gross and stupid today and u just have to guess whats good for tommorow. and once one person misses it that day, lots of people are in trouble for that day.

so yesterday, miss Clerk refused to carry her files into her office on time and automatically, i was at fault! i was running another errand so i didnt think i had to monitor Miss Clerk to see she saw the case files into her office. and when she gets mad, she rakes and rakes and rakes and says lots of things and u r forced to wonder "ok, what exactly is going on?". I actually cried yesterday cos she made it sound like i dont do ANYTHING just receive salary which is just crazy cos i do work, a lot!
ok, maybe crying is silly but i just hate to look incompetent and lazy cos i am not.

Anyway, i guess its one of the hazards of my job and working with my kind of boss.
Meanwhile, Miss Clerk will hear it from me today, nobody should just add to my already full to the brim schedule of work and take no insults for the wrong they do.
thats that with me and my raging boss.

So am going political today.
The state of our nation is really like a movie, at first it was a comedy of all sorts. Now its fast becoming a horror movie.
I dont hate Yaddy, its not his fault that guy is sick, i really dont wish him dead. But seriously, is anything wrong with him resigning to take care of his health? what is wrong with Turai anyway?! Are they going to hide the true state of this man's health till 2011 or when (which by the way is silly cos we will know wassup eventually one day one day)? What is the big idea anyway? are they so against Jonathan becoming President or........... I am really out of ideas.

What bothers me is the implications of this. This is one way to invite the military back in. These guys think democracy has gone on for long enough anyway so its time to step in again. I dont pray for it to happen but really, this is one good reason for them to steal the show while everyone is still confused.
And why is there so much fuss as to whether Jonny Boy should chose the members of his own cabinet? Of course he should. I am against his transferring Aaondoka to special duties, he should have kicked the guy's arse farther than that, like remove him totally. That guy (AG) messed things up too much. Jonny Boy should have people who are ready to work with him on board, fini!

Just wanted to vent my anger against my boss and the state of the nation since i cant exactly confront the parties involved.

Have a great month guys.

happy nu year

Happy new year!

Trust y'all had a wonderful holiday.
pardon the absence/silence, work was crazy for a while and then it just seemed like there wasnt anything worth putting down. i tried to keep up with my blog rounds tho, even when i dont drop comments, i still monitor u guys. am hoping to get my mojo back on now.

holiday was fun, had a blast. you should see me in my flabbergasted state (learnt that new word from Loving de life to mean ur state after gaining weight, brilliant isnt it?), i ate, ate, partied, etc i was just determined to have a memorable xmas and i did! plus Bubbly is still so so sweet, we werent together for xmas but it was fun having him in my life. full details on bubbly next post.

now its back to work and reality. speaking about work, problem dey o, there is no work at the moment for me! yes, you heard me right and no, am not enjoying it. courts have resumed session so naturally, we should be in the deep of it right now. but boss lost her mum and so there's plenty preparation for burial etc long and short of it, no sitting this month! its annoying cos there's pending work for me but boss no gree give us, that means my days of closing 10pm are fast approaching and that isnt a comforting thot (scowling face).

so i saw the movie 2012 on Sunday and all i can ask myself is, who send me?! the film is messing up my mind! it seemed so real, like something that might actually happen one day, God forbid! since i saw it, i've just had a fresher and newer perspective to normal, natural happenings. there was this very strong harmattan wind on monday and i just had a fresh perspective to it, maybe its something like.......... Tufiakwa!!! i wont even compare it. now i wish i had a roomie, i just wake up in the middle of the night and my imaginations run amok. God help me.

will be back soon again.........

Remeber the stupid things i used to think and do when i was a kid. some i still have not forgotten, i got seriously walloped!

- remember one day, think i was 6, for no particular reason, i decided to shit (poop) in our car garrage. mum packed her car and saw it. before asking why, she beat the living shit (literarily) out of my life. i still wonder, why on earth did i do that?!?! the house had like 5 toilets!

- i had lots of aunts and cousins staying with us then and so the aunties fetch water all the way up when pressure cant go up. so after filling several drums, i decided to put like a few drops of pop's cleaning fluid (for his sax and stuff) in each of the containers filled with water (just to know what will happen). it spoilt it all and looked like kerosine and water and smelt horrible and oily. mum asked, i denied, she got to know and whooped me seriously.

- we used to have a little kiosk in front of the gate then, we sold petty stuff (to keep gran busy) including sweets. eclairs eyin alangba (tiny egg like multi-colored sweets), goody goody, gogo etc. i started stealing eclairs and eyin alangba then, i pop one at every opportunity.

on the day of reckoning, a neibors kid came over and saw lots of eclairs wrap behind the shop and asked if everyone who bought eclairs eat it behind our shop. asiri tu!! my yansh don open!

in short, mum found out. she beat me like a thief (well, i was)! even pop couldnt bear it and just left the house. after beating me, with the dripping nose et al, she forced me to eat "I give u food all the time" and gave me a newspaper where they showed thieves at a firing squad. she said "thats what happens to thieves, no matter what they steal, some of them stole N5 and see them now".

It worked cos anytime i got tempted, i just remember the firing squad.

- there was also the addiction of plucking fruits from people's house, ripe or unripe, we just had to pluck, usually on our way back from school (pri school). the man will chase us, screaming and cussing, we just kept doing it. somehow, i never got caught. interestingly, we had lots of fruit in the house, why must we steal?

- one man bred all types of dogs too, alsasians etc he didnt even have fruits. we just had to disturb the dogs to see if they could chase us. one unfortunate day, a fierce dog was tied loosely to a cassava plant, of cos it broke loose and chased us! while running, all i was thinking was "If this dog bites or eats me, my mum will probably beat my remains still". i cant remember why the dog left us.

- whenever it rained then, i always sit by the window, imagining that angels are gathered round a very big and mighty sieve, with God (remember He is big and mighty) pouring water into the sieve, and thats how it rains. i always sit there hoping to catch a glimpse of my imagination.

PSS:

i am very very horny with nothing to do about it! unfortunately, i am ovulating and coming accross things that will stimulate me! oh what a day.