boy drama!

ti su mi joright now, i have a king sized headache, guess its cos i dont want to be at work, and then, most annoyingly, am on my way to kano 2mrw! i am sure someone reading this has a gun, can i like hire it? need to shoot my office folks!

una see me see issue o! had plenty things to get angry about yesterday.
issue one:
there is this bros who believes he is asking me out. why not, i havent even acknowledged his toasting but cant discard him just yet (or so i thot) cos he likes to take me to SFC and Biobak (na u know o, cast the first stone make i see).
so last nite he came over to come say hi, first time in my room, bros can so talk!!!!! Jesus Christ! and if na person wey im gist dey sweet, e for good o! the guy discusses just one topic: HIMSELF. he can talk 5 mins none stop, doesnt matter that u havent replied, he just talks about him, him and him. Geez! he knows nothing bout me o, he doesnt ask cos he is busy telling me the very very boring details of his life, like i bloody care! after he talked for about 20 mins, he asked to see my pics, more talk bout him, even in my pics! right there in my head i went "omotee, to hell with the SFC and Biobak, u have officially discarded dis bros"! bros likes nothing other than the sound of his own voice and if dem ask am, he go say im dey toast me.

2 other important knock offs bout bros: height issues (short), not very good englis (by dat i mean the very bad type).
he is sooooo out of my face!

issue 2:
guy was my friend in uni days (for lack of better word), we gist in nite class et al. guy is just there sha, my friend, but i can relate well with guy.
so last month i jam guy for abj and we like "OMG, na u be dis?! lets hook up!" guy even stays in my area, so once in a while, we hook up and gist.
guy meets babe in my crib, babe is a very fine girl, cocacola kinda shape, the handy type, all d works. guy, naturally begin like babe, etc.
guy told me he likes babe, what do i think? like am sposed to say he shd not toast babe?! no get me wrong, babe na nice chic, to da best of my little knowledge. i and babe were friends in sec school. ntywayz, am like "u wanna ask babe out?" said yes. babe is a nice girl, told guy that. but at that point, guy wasnt particularly using his head to think, he used male equivalent to brain (of cos u know what i mean) to think.
guy has just started asking babe out and he is already having issues!

b4 i bore u to death, to crown da whole crap, last nite, guy called me like 9.45pm to say he dey downstairs. for ol times sakes, asked guy to come up. took guy anoda 1hr to do that, which is just annoying. dat i stay alone doesnt give nobody d rite to think they can call me up anytime,but then, i no blame am, there is the IGNORE device on every fone, i shda used it.
ntywayz, i let guy know i didnt apreciate d late nite visits cos i was ready to sleep (well, watching grey's anatomy at the mo but dats like my me time!)
guy said sorry, but dat he had somfin impt. to talk bout, of cos its about babe. he goes "omotee, btw u and me, i think babe is an opportunist". in my head i thot "how much as she asked him to bring?"
asked why and guy went on to talk bout how babe asked him to drop her somewhere, wait for her, use his fone, take her somewhere, buy her credit, blah, blah, blah. and am like "ok, is dat d def of opportunist?". oh, i forgot, he said babe recieved lotsa fone calls from guys and he got jealous and that babe said someone was her oga and he doesnt think so, that he said them looking at each other "knowingly".

i aint exactly excusing babe, i think. but hey, i got my reasons ok.
guy tells me and every plus babe dat he has a wifey in UK, has her pic all over his fone and lappy. babe knows all this and u r asking babe out o, biko, is babe sposed to take guy serious?! i mean, its like ur married boyfriend telling u not to worry cos he has problems with wifey and will soon divorce her!
of cos, big mouthed me (plus he broke my sleep, i can tell him anything!) i asked him what exactly he wanted and why was he telling me all the plenty stories.
he said he wasnt expeccting babe to behave like dat cos he really likes babe and was hoping for plenty things, he wants to get married (yeah, my ex said so too), he even made babe talk to his elder bro and told his friend that she was his wife! hello, they met like mid last month! he was thinking of ditching girlfie for babe.

then i started my lecture.
1, guy, u dont have a girlfie or fiancee.
girlfie is in UK, the sposed rel startd over the fone. he hasnt seen girlfie in years, he says and believes girlfie and her folks love him and want him to abandon life and move to the UK cos of girlfie (yeah right, like he is dangote + denzel washington). at the same time, they want him to chill cos girlfie is 21 and is in uni and u are agbalagbi! plus girlfie doesnt even call guy that often. yet my guy carry picture decorate all over, if na me, i go wait make e tell me real story?! hell not! perhaps guy don chase better babe away with picture sef.

2. if u ask every fine girl out just cos they are fine and ur other brain ask u to do so, u go soon carry mammy water. chill out and be babe's friend first. then u get to know a little bout her (b4 u call her gold digger) and then ask her out.
u never even sabi babe and u wan make she throway her fone already?! my guy hard small o!

3. shut up and grow da hell up already! (ok, not in those exact words tho)
i hate it when a man talks like a girl! all that plenty talk on top wetin?! personally, i find it hard to stick a guy who talks too much! guy talked for over 45 mins fa!
u had to be with me last nite, Lawd! i wanna die!
and then he went on to talk bout how emotional he is, and that he can get emotional bout things, its not easy for him to just discard his feelings. plus he is a man now, and girlfie has not been around to satisfy his needs as a man. so its really "hard" for him. b4 he will start crying, i intended sending him away.
i see, that was what the story was about, sex! u see what am talking about?! do u all get me?! puhlease!
if i were babe sef, he can be nothing other than my credit and rides man, before i sack his silly ass!

ok, plenty story. i learnt one important lesson tho, i will never pick calls of pipo i dont wanna see at nite again, its not a sin jo! o, and he said he will call me today after work so we can hook up and talk some more!
emi ke????????!!!!!!!!!!!1 God forbid!!!!!! i cannot have bad luck twice, and def not on 1st of september!

happy new month guys!