Tuesday, September 30, 2008

Hate Mail/Post

The holiday has been most boring, gradually ending sha and am so glad to get back to normal life, i.e, work, not like anything new coming up.

called MF today to say happy birthday, sent him a lovely text too.
just dis afternoon, MF called, or so it seemed. picked it, 'hello?' no response. then it got interesting.......

MF and some girl is gisting, chatting away happily or so, from all i could hear. heard her name... a chic MF told me nothing was up anymo (LG can hear u ask if i believed it), heard stuff i shouldnt have listened to, shouldnt have heard. i coulda cut da fone when i knew the call was either a mistake or..... woreva
But i didnt end the call, listened, got pissed, angry, jealous too i guess, i mean, i dont know jo. i just know i was pissed. but i am glad i did. reality either creeps on u or dawns suddenly and heavily on u, so figure.........

so i called MF, said hi, asked if the call was a mistake, started saying stuff like it was deliberate, he wanted to say hi but i didnt talk, was watching soccer........ crap, crap, crap! obviously lying and i just hated him at that point. told him it couldnt have been cos he couldnt have wanted me to hear all i heard.
some mins lera, he called and like 'if u knew the call was a mistake, why didnt u just end the call for me?'
am like 'i wanted to, until the conv started getting interesting, am glad i heard what i heard anyway'.
'and what did u hear?' Deut. 29 v 29
'try to remember what u really truly was doing' obviously not soccer like u claimed.
'ok bye'. click.

am pissed pissed pissed!!!!!!!!!
ok, shit happens, one of those crap that happen in life. learnt my lesson. there is more to life than MF! its a done and bad deal. borrowing afro's cliche : TOTAL FUCKERY.
i feel stupid and silly, dunno why.
its a phase jo.

MF can frigging take a frigging bow now!!!!!!!

happy independence guys. may we truly be liberated from whatever issues holding us, be it MF like issues, especially MF like issues!

Saturday, September 27, 2008

Jacob i love, Esau i hate

never mind the title, if i dont lose u, u just might see the reason for the title.....

sometimes i wish life and choices werent so hard, thats not new, we all do. but right now, i really really do wish i could just have this...

i keep telling people and myself i dont have a boyfriend, its partly true and partly....not very true. i have (had) MF.

MF and i met in Jos in the courtroom thru an old school mate. MF is taaaaaaaaaalllllllll, (of cos i fell for the height first), keeps a lil' afro, quiet, fun to be with, very very brilliant and intelligent, athletic, friendly in his own quiet way and one of the most annoying and insensitive men (so it seems) i have ever met. sometimes its as if MF was created for a sole purpose: to annoy the living day out of me! we can so fight, we can so argue, we can so gist and ........... imagine the other fun things we do. with time, MF was the only guy i was "seeing", literarily and literaly (woreva, spot the difference).

MF had (still has, annoyingly so) the power to melt me. whenever we had one of our plenty squabbles, he will just show up mid-day in my office, without calling, and i see him, i just MELT. and then he could go further by calling me by my 'oriki' and i just MELLTTTTTTTT!
i used to think i couldnt stand poems, until MF wrote me 2 beautiful poems.
we had all that, the sparks, chemistry, all that and we had so much fun together.

so we were rolling together, faffing around, gradually became an item which i denied every time 'we were just friends'. at work all my colleagues knew MF. theres my friend at work, Madam, she could detect days i had gone 'kwanagidaing' at MF's. i was glowing she said. it was all fun until of cos, the defining moment came..........

MF sort of talked the talked and then we had to face the one big issue:

before u hang me, i gotta tell u i am one of those people that feel u must have the same spiritual understanding. we could have all the sparks et al, but we would be operating at 2 very different frequencies, and it was still gonna cause issues.

MF of cos didnt think it was issue enuff, always lunched into the intellectual arguments of free thinking, belief in God, etc. MF never really opened up to me about his beliefs, which till today is so annoying........

so i made up my mind, things couldnt go on this way. there had to be a decision. a tough one but it still had to be made. we broke up and made up like a million times. well, actually, i was the one breaking up.
so i started looking for a serious distraction, someone or something so strong that will make me finally give MF up. either i did that or i wait for MF to serve me his wedding IV someday soon.

along came Mr. Nice........

i have known oga nice for about 3 yrs now. very nice man. so nice its so annoying. he is always so ready to please me, be the nice guy, complement every frigging thing i do, (if i mess sef, i sure say the guy go say the mess smells good), ready to do my bidding etc. just one basic issue with oga nice..
i do not like him.

funny as it may sound, i just cannot get to like this guy. he just never seems to get it right with me. i have never even hugged this guy, cant do it and for me, thats a bad sign. some of my friends think i should just try and like this guy, give him a chance, he is nice and knows what exactly he wants which is a good thing. of cos na old guy, he suppose know wetin he want.
so, kid bro is around, fell ill and oga nice just played his part well: he was very very nice. kid bro likes him already, which is a plus, kid bro never likes any of my guys. kiddy asked me what exactly my problem is etc..... why are lots of people on oga nice's side anyway?
by the way, he is short which isnt a big plus and............ not just it for me! is that such a bad thing?

Jacob i love.........
MF is a Jacob kinda (pls ignore the love part). Jacob annoys me and gets away with it. he tolerates my excesses, we just.........flow. i just like him.

Esau i hate........
Mr. NIce is Esau tho i dont hate him. i dont think i dislike him. i just dont like or feel him and dont think it can happen. it didnt happen for 2 yrs i dont know if it can now. whenever the guy attempts to hug or kiss me i flinch and i dont do much in hiding it. he even mentioned it that it embarrasses him.... woreva. dunno.

so right now, am confused, lonely and missing MF so bad, want to see him and yell at him and hug him and kiss him mindless.

gotta stop rambling. i know this is mindless

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Right now i am sooooooooooo full of things to right but the stupid internet guys have decided to mess me up! i am at a cyber cafe! it is very annoying.

i have gist on work, beefer (work related), MF again, basically, issues...... plenty plenty.

i miss luscious ron, rayo, afrobabe, buttercup, ladyguide etc, just realised how much reading ur blogs mean to me (and of cos how y'all keep me from doing serious work, now i have internet hours for myself, when of cos they decide to make it work again!) *sob, sob, sob* make una head no swell o!

i have blogs to read, lera men!

Thursday, September 11, 2008

For Girls Only, Keeping Mr. Man

I read some relationship book a long time ago, when i still used to read them, stopped for a while now cos, well, i still havent found the right bobo, e never gree come and then, sometimes, those methods dont work jo.
ntywayz, i stumbled on this old jotter of mine, i actually wrote down what the writer labelled as pitfalls, even i trip for me!

so, for lack of nothing to do now (i actually have a brief staring me in the face but right now it looks like greek and latin) and for lack of better thing to post (yeah right) i shall give u the tips/pitfalls. some of us are actually guilty of them. and some of them aint so baaaaad abi? u tell:

1. making the first move
2. saying i love you before he does (well, kini big deal?)
3. sex too early in a relationship (ok, when is the right time? 1 yr, 5 months, 2 days?)
4. neglecting self development
5. sharing too much too soon
6. failing to keep in shape (find a man, keep the man!)
7. asking a man to marry you (were!)
8. dating married men
9. playing house with a man
10. spending too much time with a man you just met (now, thats hard, what if he is sooo fine and sooo nice to be with?)
11. refusing to let go of an Ex
12. trapping by getting pregnant (ode, were, foolish!)
13. becoming over-possessive
14. trying to re-make a man
15. unnecessarily fussing and nagging
16. failing to practice proper standards of hygiene
17. failure to appreciate the revealing and defining power of time (well.......)
18. failing to love yourself before expecting to be loved
19. neglecting to look your best at all times

so, those are the ones by the writer, i have these to add, i sabi small:

20. sticking with mr. mike tyson (the beater) why on earth do girls stick that?!!!
21. sucking up to his rude siblings so he can marry you (i appreciate the place of respect but then, pls!!!)
22. neglecting your own friends to be with him all the time (ok, its easy to do that cos our girlfriends dont kiss and touch and make our hearts go gbam gbam, but its wrong)
23. telling him you hate all his friends (diplomacy, even though u do)
24. emmmmm................ add ur own

i and MF sort of made up last nite, i am still debating if that was a smart thing to do considering............
MF means Male Figure which means the guy currently reigning in my life while i dont have an active boyfriend. i keep telling myself am not MF's girlfriend. stupid, foolish... i guess
i will give u full gist of MF in another post.

Tuesday, September 9, 2008

Am back

Have been away from work and life generally since last tuesday, i went for the trip to kano and then came the wahala.........

Kano is.... not a bad town sha, very hot, very muslim, i was hoping and praying subconciously that i see a simply dressed lady, i was putting on pants and shirt, very decent but u know the feeling. saw worse later so i felt better. They were really quite friendly folks. had a lunch at a place called pounded yam and co, would have called it lovely but fever was already setting in so the taste was somewhere between sweet and sawdust.

would have said i had a great time but the journey was far from smooth. by the time i finished my buss, it was close to 3pm. of cos at the car park, agbero lied that they were almost complete, had to pay for 2 just to get out of the place. was coughing so bad with some thick sputum (yuck, yuck, yuck!) and chest pain. got home late and fell very very ill. hospital pronounced losts of things from the test, malaria and pneumonia (mba, God forbid), plenty drugs, plenty injections, my bum aches like mad right now.
got 2 nice docs to myself, hmm, how nice. one was very very nice and caring, always wanted to date a doc but sha. and NO! i didnt do anything silly with either docs, so just relax.

ntwayz, most importantly, i am back on my feet, am fine now, i can kick asses now and am just so so grateful to God.

Monday, September 1, 2008

boy drama!

ti su mi joright now, i have a king sized headache, guess its cos i dont want to be at work, and then, most annoyingly, am on my way to kano 2mrw! i am sure someone reading this has a gun, can i like hire it? need to shoot my office folks!

una see me see issue o! had plenty things to get angry about yesterday.
issue one:
there is this bros who believes he is asking me out. why not, i havent even acknowledged his toasting but cant discard him just yet (or so i thot) cos he likes to take me to SFC and Biobak (na u know o, cast the first stone make i see).
so last nite he came over to come say hi, first time in my room, bros can so talk!!!!! Jesus Christ! and if na person wey im gist dey sweet, e for good o! the guy discusses just one topic: HIMSELF. he can talk 5 mins none stop, doesnt matter that u havent replied, he just talks about him, him and him. Geez! he knows nothing bout me o, he doesnt ask cos he is busy telling me the very very boring details of his life, like i bloody care! after he talked for about 20 mins, he asked to see my pics, more talk bout him, even in my pics! right there in my head i went "omotee, to hell with the SFC and Biobak, u have officially discarded dis bros"! bros likes nothing other than the sound of his own voice and if dem ask am, he go say im dey toast me.

2 other important knock offs bout bros: height issues (short), not very good englis (by dat i mean the very bad type).
he is sooooo out of my face!

issue 2:
guy was my friend in uni days (for lack of better word), we gist in nite class et al. guy is just there sha, my friend, but i can relate well with guy.
so last month i jam guy for abj and we like "OMG, na u be dis?! lets hook up!" guy even stays in my area, so once in a while, we hook up and gist.
guy meets babe in my crib, babe is a very fine girl, cocacola kinda shape, the handy type, all d works. guy, naturally begin like babe, etc.
guy told me he likes babe, what do i think? like am sposed to say he shd not toast babe?! no get me wrong, babe na nice chic, to da best of my little knowledge. i and babe were friends in sec school. ntywayz, am like "u wanna ask babe out?" said yes. babe is a nice girl, told guy that. but at that point, guy wasnt particularly using his head to think, he used male equivalent to brain (of cos u know what i mean) to think.
guy has just started asking babe out and he is already having issues!

b4 i bore u to death, to crown da whole crap, last nite, guy called me like 9.45pm to say he dey downstairs. for ol times sakes, asked guy to come up. took guy anoda 1hr to do that, which is just annoying. dat i stay alone doesnt give nobody d rite to think they can call me up anytime,but then, i no blame am, there is the IGNORE device on every fone, i shda used it.
ntywayz, i let guy know i didnt apreciate d late nite visits cos i was ready to sleep (well, watching grey's anatomy at the mo but dats like my me time!)
guy said sorry, but dat he had somfin impt. to talk bout, of cos its about babe. he goes "omotee, btw u and me, i think babe is an opportunist". in my head i thot "how much as she asked him to bring?"
asked why and guy went on to talk bout how babe asked him to drop her somewhere, wait for her, use his fone, take her somewhere, buy her credit, blah, blah, blah. and am like "ok, is dat d def of opportunist?". oh, i forgot, he said babe recieved lotsa fone calls from guys and he got jealous and that babe said someone was her oga and he doesnt think so, that he said them looking at each other "knowingly".

i aint exactly excusing babe, i think. but hey, i got my reasons ok.
guy tells me and every plus babe dat he has a wifey in UK, has her pic all over his fone and lappy. babe knows all this and u r asking babe out o, biko, is babe sposed to take guy serious?! i mean, its like ur married boyfriend telling u not to worry cos he has problems with wifey and will soon divorce her!
of cos, big mouthed me (plus he broke my sleep, i can tell him anything!) i asked him what exactly he wanted and why was he telling me all the plenty stories.
he said he wasnt expeccting babe to behave like dat cos he really likes babe and was hoping for plenty things, he wants to get married (yeah, my ex said so too), he even made babe talk to his elder bro and told his friend that she was his wife! hello, they met like mid last month! he was thinking of ditching girlfie for babe.

then i started my lecture.
1, guy, u dont have a girlfie or fiancee.
girlfie is in UK, the sposed rel startd over the fone. he hasnt seen girlfie in years, he says and believes girlfie and her folks love him and want him to abandon life and move to the UK cos of girlfie (yeah right, like he is dangote + denzel washington). at the same time, they want him to chill cos girlfie is 21 and is in uni and u are agbalagbi! plus girlfie doesnt even call guy that often. yet my guy carry picture decorate all over, if na me, i go wait make e tell me real story?! hell not! perhaps guy don chase better babe away with picture sef.

2. if u ask every fine girl out just cos they are fine and ur other brain ask u to do so, u go soon carry mammy water. chill out and be babe's friend first. then u get to know a little bout her (b4 u call her gold digger) and then ask her out.
u never even sabi babe and u wan make she throway her fone already?! my guy hard small o!

3. shut up and grow da hell up already! (ok, not in those exact words tho)
i hate it when a man talks like a girl! all that plenty talk on top wetin?! personally, i find it hard to stick a guy who talks too much! guy talked for over 45 mins fa!
u had to be with me last nite, Lawd! i wanna die!
and then he went on to talk bout how emotional he is, and that he can get emotional bout things, its not easy for him to just discard his feelings. plus he is a man now, and girlfie has not been around to satisfy his needs as a man. so its really "hard" for him. b4 he will start crying, i intended sending him away.
i see, that was what the story was about, sex! u see what am talking about?! do u all get me?! puhlease!
if i were babe sef, he can be nothing other than my credit and rides man, before i sack his silly ass!

ok, plenty story. i learnt one important lesson tho, i will never pick calls of pipo i dont wanna see at nite again, its not a sin jo! o, and he said he will call me today after work so we can hook up and talk some more!
emi ke????????!!!!!!!!!!!1 God forbid!!!!!! i cannot have bad luck twice, and def not on 1st of september!

happy new month guys!

nba conf

been ages since i posted any (who cares), blogs like rayo's has been keeping me busy and amused!
so i went on 2 wks leave, had the boringest of moments, came back to work and was bathed into another more boringest moment. then came the NBA conference.
conferences of any kind make me feel......... dunno how to explain it.
the first day of the conference, i tried to pretend like it was my thing, listened (tried) to all the welcome addresses, i really enjoyed Modibbo of the FCT, the guy didnt have a prepared speech but was intelligent and brief. others were ok. they lost me when some white folk came up. am like "Oyinbo ke?!" what da hell does he know bout Naija? no be say i no hear english o, i hear am, i fit form am sef but hey, white folks bore me when they try to talk serious talk. after then, i practically how to translate what they were saying from greek into english and then comprehend.....so i left the place!
since then, i was either faffing around with my equally jobless friends (i know she is reading this and hates me now, too bad), meeting old friends, seeing old nuisances who have still refused to change, meet some important snr lawyers and behave like i care about them, my cheeks aching from fake smiles etc
as u can see, it was crap, crap and more crap.

i have lots of things in my head that i want to write about, i dont just seem to think i can put it down