Friday, December 17, 2010


Its my 100th Yay!

So these are the answers to the questions

1. When did you start blogging and why (Myne Whitman)?

One day, i googled Ajala travels - to find out if its really true that a man named Ajala really did travel the whole world round. Then I discovered some girl's blog where she wrote lots of stuff about travelling etc There i found other interesting blogs and I kept reading them.
I also found out that everyone had their own style - which means you dont have to be a serious or full time writer, you could just put down your thots.
So in 2008 I started blogging and its been fun.
2. When is your wedding (Myne Whitman)?

I hope to tie the knot next year. There are lots of determining factors so I cant say specifically this month but I can say its definitely next year. It will only change if something really drastic happens and I am praying against that. So next year God's grace.

3. Shebi I will get aso ebi? (LG asks)

Yes you will - if you are willing to pay, lol. And if you are willing to let me meet you finally, abi how i wan take give you aso ebi?
4. Have you and Bubbly set a date? (Repressed One asks)
Please refer to question 2, I have kinda answered there.

5. Is it going to be in Abuja?

Nope, it will be in Ilorin where my parents live.
6. Why did you choose the law profession?

I decided to study law when I was in JS3 and I had to decide which subjects to choose in my SS classes. I hated maths and anything that has to do with calculations and stuff, all science courses and core accounting subjects too. Arts was interesting and I wanted to do anything professional from there, which could only be law.
I also liked the law dramas I saw on TV and those pretty ladies in cute skirts (not knowing of course that those dramas dont happen in Nigeria).
But when I got admission to study law, I fell in love and I really do love being a lawyer now.

7. Are you a virgin? (Wise Sage)
I shant say more than that.

8. Is there anything you have decided to hold back from Bubbly...something you consider a secret?

I am not much of a secretive person, I may not tell the whole world or strangers my business but I dont like keeping secrets. I believe people make big deals out of "secrets"that if you actually lay it down, it may not be such a big big deal.
I will hate for Bubbly to find out later something I chose not to tell him earlier. Luckily, I dont have skeletons so I guess it makes it easier. The only thing I regard as a secret, I have told him.

9. If yes, what is it? Why are you holding back?
Not applicable.

10. What's the craziest thing you two have done together? (PET Projects)

Hmmmm...... How do i answer this?
Okay, there was one day we made out in his car just parked outside my gate. People were passing by and we were trying to be discreet and all. The fear of people seeing us et al made it seem all crazy and funny. We ended up laughing at each other.

Then there was a day we wanted to make out so bad, (i choose to blame it on ovulation) but I had my little cousin around so we could not, I didnt want to do the making out in the car anymore. So Bubbly suggested we send my little cousin to buy something totally needless and irrelevant and we quickly made out. It was crazy, at least for me.

My colleague just told me his own crazy moves and they beat mine hands down!
Okay those are all the questions so far.
I'd love to say blogging has been such a great experience for me. The fact that I have a place where I can let my thots out freely and not wonder what anyone would say, I'd say thats - comforting.
I've also enjoyed getting comments, they warm me up. I remember when I just started, I was checking every moment to see if anyone had commented. Its been lovely!

So, i have decided to put up some pictures. You may have to strain your neck to see them, maybe turn your lappy upside down sef, lol. Add ImageAdd ImageMy lappy and internet have conspired against me to do things differently. Shouldnt computers be able to read minds?!

Bubbly took that last one, he's a sucker for big bums. Told u u'll have to bend your head a lot eh?
I had really fanciful ideas for my 100th but this is the best I can do at the moment. If there are still questions, bring them on.
So this is wishing you all a very very wonderful xmas ahead. Dont know if I will post anything this year anymore, not so sure. But am on my way to collect my xmas package!
May this xmas be accident and sorrow free for you all.
May your joy be full this xmas.
And may the coming new year meet us all in peace.
Love you all!!!

Thursday, December 16, 2010

Finally I met Myne Whitman!

Yes i did!

I saw her last post just yesterday and found she was in town and at some Infusion program - readings, poetry, art, music...

Myne looked very pretty and it was nice meeting her - again. She read some excerpts from her book and she did it so gracefully. I was expecting her to be very americanized and you know, do serious phone but she didnt, unlike some people that I know. She was just her correct self and it was beautiful. Proud of you Myne. You were fan-bloody-tastic!

So finally I've got my own copy of A Heart to Mend and duly autographed, yippie!

Tried to take a picture of it and thats the best i got (again, the picture was to be inserted here but blogger decided to disobey me).
It was a nice evening, have never been to those book reading club thingis so it was a nice thing to see. It was nice to go fo something different, lots of bookies. Maybe I will go again...
There was this very funny lady, Lola, who anchored the program, she's quite funny. She kept talking about "deeping your hands into her warm bucket" i cant even explain, it was funny sha.
If there was a fellow blogger there, I didnt know.
Could have sworn my posts were already a 100 but blogger keeps telling me, 97 or 98. I think i will just count myself...
Today is my last day at work this year, yay!!! Some of the perks of being a civil servant I guess. Judges have to go on vac so if Oga no dey office.... figures. I hope to skip out on Tuesday to my folks and be back before the new year God's grace. Am dreading the trip though, Gwagwalada - Lokoja route has been a nightmare. Someone got to lag around 1.30am this morning after taking off around 8 am or so.
I'm not going to lag but I hope to leave early and beat the traffic.
If there's anything I pray to see in Nigeria, its not just good leadership, but for the train system to work again, life will be so much easier! Air fares will reduce, lots of cars will be off the road and you will get to your destinations faster. I really pray that very soon, that will work in Nigeria. If any presidential aspirant makes that one of his goals, gba, I shall not only vote for him but make sure I get him plenty votes too. I know what you are thinking, he might not do it right? Yeah, and we shall plot a coup to remove him, shikena!
I'm really really looking fwd to xmas and seeing my folks again. Mama Omotee has been enticing me with all the things she will cook for me and buy for me when I come, makes me feel like I was in boarding school again. Whenver I came home from school then, I will enter every room to see whats new and bury myself in mum's room last to see the new things she's got and inevitably, the things i will "borrow"or "steal". I still do that at almost 30 years old.
And something else I still do - I still collect öwo aso odun from Prof. Yep, i still do. I shall collect money for xmas cloth on the 23rd or 24th. He tells me each year that I am too old for that and I tell him each year that I am still his daughter and still entitled to that money. I still collect money for offering in church too (yeah LG and Ron, this is where u scream agbaya, na una know).

I'll go count my posts now and get to the 100th already, haba!

Thursday, December 2, 2010

Tags and Special Invitation

Hi Pipo!

How ya doing? I cant believe am doing a post now, its simply unbelievable esp seeing that I have a deadline and Oga Madam is going to have me for lunch/dinner if I dont deliver. Its not my fault jare, I'm in the holiday mood already.

So for want of a better post, here I am doing my tag. Myne tagged me. Some of those categories am not even sure what to say sef. but here goes:

5 Famous people I want to meet:

- John Legend
- Pastor Enoch Adeboye
- Babatunde Fashola
- Ellen Degeneres (and ask her why on earth she is lesbo)
- Will Smith

5 Books that affected you:

- The Bible
- Things Fall Apart by Chinua Achebe
- Half of a Yello Sun by Chimamanda Adichie

5 favorite movies (5 is very restrictive o!):

-Sound of Music
- The Family that Preys
- The Kingdom
- Pirates of the Carribean
- Shrek (all 3)

5 things you can't do without:

- My phones
- Food
- Money
- Music
- Books

5 turn ons

- Bubbly (oh yeah, turns me on badly!)
- Handsome, sexy, humble and polite men (am a sucker for fine boys)
- Intelligent conversations
- Rich sinful chocolate cakes
- Independence

5 turn offs:

- Rude and loud people
- Lying

So now I tag the following people

- Chacha
- Luscious Ron
- LG
- Sugar King

(Pls feel free to tag yourself and say Omotee did).

I know i should have gotten to my 100th like 100 days ago but am slowly getting there. This is my 99th. Would still love more questions, including the ridiculous ones (which shall get ridiculous answers).

I am trying to plan something nice and out of the ordinary for xmas. Somehow I dont have lots of friends anymore; they are either married and out of town or we're just too busy to keep in touch. Wish it could be better. SO am recruiting new friends now. I dont like being the kind of girl who hangs out with her boyfriend 24/7 so i need friends who arent as boring as I am.

Ok, so thats all I wanna say. Oh yeah, ok, I look VERY VERY HAWT today and I love the attention its giving me. You know I've got big bum and chest, my dress is just short and sexy and nice and I like it!
Does that make me vain? Dunno, whatevs mehn! Nice evening


This is inviting all you Abuja folks to my church (Commonwealth of Zion Assembly - COZA) for a special program.
Myles Munroe, Rev. Sam Adeyemi and Pastor Poju Oyemade are coming to speak.
Date: 12th December 2010 @ 9am. December 13th and 14th @ 6pm.
Venue: This Day Dome.

Would love to see you there (well, maybe not see you as I dont know you, lol).

Nice evening guys!

Thursday, November 25, 2010

Thanksgiving, aso ebi, tailors etc

Thanks for all the lovely comments on my last post, its kind to have people who care.
Chacha, thanks for the text, you are a darling.

Yesterday, I and one nice lady who gives me a ride to work were talking about tailors and aso ebis. The amount people ask to pay for aso ebis these days, na wa!
I mean, seriously, why 50k, 80k for aso ebi?! Is this me been too.... frugal?
My friend, who is married with 2 kids has this mummy figure in their church. The woman has really been good to them in lots of ways, you sha get it, she means a lot to them.
So mummy's son is getting married and the aso ebi is 70k and in lagos.
He has decided he isnt buying but his wife will buy, you know us Naijas with all those ties and how we feel indebted to people. So by the time he calculates the amount he will spend on flight, hotel accomodation, transportation within lag and aso ebi, you are talking about N200k. On one person's wedding! SHUO! We are not even talking gifts o. The guy is just a lawyer like me struggling to make ends meet and then he will throw 200k on a non-relative's wedding? Thats a tad too much and I so hold.
I like the idea of aso ebi but then, no be everybody wey u call come ur wedding get armed robber salary or be governor pikin. I tink people should embrain demsef abeg!

Speaking of aso ebi, its closely linked to tailors. E be like say d day wey dem do freedom for most tailors, dem swear for dem join.
To find a good tailor is not that hard. But from experience, i notice that once they sew about 5 cloths for you without too much dissappointment, the rest counting from 6 will be disastrous.
Take my Abraham for example, i gave him 2 materials for my friend's wedding, 2 months ahead of time with payment. Guy did not make my cloths o! He kept posting me. On the eve of the wedding (which was in ilorin), Abraham was neither in his shop nor had he made my cloth!
I did small were for him: I called him and said I will lock his apprentice up, break his shop and pack his machine and valuable customers cloths.
In short, he showed up and we had to carry him and his machine to my house to finish my cloth in my passage cos he didnt have light in his shop. He finished just one of them around 4am. And the trend goes on. I pray the new one will keep his sanity longer than Abraham.

Its thanksgiving, yay! Yeah right, like am in America. But i always love this period, it ushers in xmas. I feel chrismasy already.
There's so much to be thankful for. If i do a list, it will be very looooooooooooooooooooong! Just a few of the items on that list:

Journey mercies: You'll appreciate God more if you live in Naija and travel the Abuja-Lokoja route. Its a miracle everytime I pass thru that horrible road.
Job: Even tho my boss frustrates me a lot and make me cry, I still cant imagine life without a job.
Family: Love them, in spite of the little little annoyances here and there, its lovely to belong to a family.
Bubbly: Aww, what can I say...... He's God's personal sprinkle of sugar on my life.
Blog Family: Extra spice of life.
Friends: I believe so much in friendship and I've been blessed with good ones.

A whole lot more on that list, will take me the whole day.
God's been so kind. For all those little, big, known and unknown blessings bestowed on us. I am really really thankful.
So what are u grateful for this thanksgiving?
Still need the questions to answer for my 100th post. Keep them coming!

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Today I let it all out... And it feels good

I spent a better part of my working hours today in writing an epistle to my father...

If you've been frequent on this blog, you might have known a thing or two about my family. Basically, its not the normal kind of family. My parents try to co-exist under the same roof, they hardly talk and just try to stay out of each other's hair. But of course, if there are loads of scores to settle between two people, minding their own business cant be that easy; there's always going to be clashes.

I grew up knowing the situation between them to be rocky and I never really enjoyed a close and loving relationship with my Dad. He's loving in his own way but very difficult and intolerant. Lots of issues that I have chosen to get past.

So Monday morning I open my box to find an e-mail, actually an epistle from him. It was actually written to an Uncle and then he copied me. Going into the details will take me the whole day to explain.
Anyway, i took the opportunity to express emotions that have been bottled up inside of me all these years.
Somehow I have always wanted to but then I calculate what it might result into: the accussations, ensuing epistles, plenty talks, more hostility when I go home etc and just shove it aside. My mum thinks its me being scared but its not, its just me managing the situation the best I can. At least I dont have to see him or talk to him that often and am grown now, its not like he's gonna flog me or deny me school fees.

It took me a lot to forgive my Dad for some of the things I held against him. I hated him and then later I just simply made him irrelevant in my life.
But all that's changed now. God could have a lot of sins to hang over my head if He chose to but He doesnt so I ought to be able to forgive anyone. Even my Dad. Plus when you refuse to forgive someone who has wronged you, somehow, you empower them.
Now I love him and pray for him but dont get too close so we dont have issues.

But today, after lots of prodings and encouragement, I wrote that epistle and expressed myself, without being rude. I dont know what it will cause but I want to believe its the best thing to do.

Last week I and Bubbly had the biggest row ever, out of anger we considered breaking up. It was so scary but thank God we settled the issues and are back again.
I know I want a very successful and happy marriage, I dont want to go thru what my mother went thru or put my children in such difficult situations. I may not have emperical knowledge about marriage but I sure do know it can work if both parties determine to make it work, with the resolve to both give it the sacrifice and tolerance it needs.
I also know it takes very little and almost irrelevant issues to destroy a marriage that has all the potentials to work.
Sometimes I get scared and wonder if mine will go down that way too. But most of the time, I assure myself that it wont because I want it to work and Bubbly is not my father.

I am relieved I did that epistle today.

Thursday, November 18, 2010

Abacha Barracks, 100th Post...

silly silly silly image uploader, it did everything the wrong way!!!
I will explain in the post....

Ok peeps, wats good? wats really really good? How was Sallah? Please those of you wey suppose "post" us sallah ram make una no forget or else i will come knocking on your pages one by one.

Was a nice break, save for the cold/flu I had, I dont know how i managed to catch a cold again, its so annoying. Was sleeping and dozing and all the effects of cold and actifed just set in. Arrgghhh!!!!

In spite of the cold, tuesday evening was fun. Bubbly and I went out with this lovely family, young couple with their baby. They took us to Abacha barracks for some lovely roasted fish and chips.
That brings me to the pictures. The first is the AFTER while the second and third are actually the BEFORE states of the delicacy. It was WONDERFUL! Fish with pepper and onion sauce, potato chips and lime to taste, hmmm!!!!!
If you live in Abuja and havent been to Abacha barracks, you never chop life for Abuja o, lol.
They are well versed in the art of roasting fish in that place. Maybe I will go learn and get my own space. We shall name it Omotee's spot and you shall all patronize me ......hmm, nice idea
Managed to eat 2 pieces of fried ram yesterday, the cold is really dealing with me. I just hope my colleague wont catch it now, I've been sneezing and blowing on everything in sight today.
Just to share the Abacha Barracks experience with ya. Let me know when you're in town so we can enjoy some fish (yeah, we know who''s paying right?!) lol.
And oh!
If i am correct, this should be my 98th post and will make sure next week God's willing I reach my 100th post!
Its something to celebrate I guess, most people do. I am ignoring (and enjoin you also to ignore) the fact that I should have reached my 100th a long time ago. I stumbled on someone who has about 1900 or so posts and i was adequately dazed - 1000 posts!!!!!
I'm hoping it will be fun. So considering the fact that I have absolutely nothing to blog about in my 100th, except I get some sort of epiphany (imagine, I know someone whose name is Epiphany!) am going to do what most people seem to do - I will answer ANY and EVERY question you guys ask me. Ask me anything and I will answer.
While not refusing to answer any question, I reserve the right to answer the questions the way I want to, in other words, I am not confined into a YES OR NO format and for the purpose of that post, everything I say is true. At least, truth by Omotee's definition.
Tanks so ..... let the questions begin from your comments on this post!
I am excited already!!
I shall upload a picture of me. Yes I shall.

Monday, November 15, 2010

Yay!!! He has done me well!

God is good
He has done me well
Oh my soul
Rise up and praise His name....

Make una sing with me o!

This testimony might look small to you but its BIG in my sight.

You know how house rent is in Abuja now, ok, just in case you dont know, its as if you work for your Landlord, at least for lots of people sha.
I try to save some of my salary every month in order to meet up for rent but somehow this year, there have been lots of expenses, trips etc and somehow it didnt look like i would be able to pay my rent on my own.
Things were not looking good outside too, at least from the people that can help. I just kept praying and hoping that something, a miracle will happen before the end of this month when my rent will be due.

I have this bad habit, when i have a need or a problem, i pray and trust God but i go ahead to make my own plan B which just sounds like: just in case God doesnt get up to it, i will save my ass somehow.
So i dumped that habit and God just surprised me.
This morning, i got some money and after paying my rent, i will have more!!!

I'm EXTREMELY happy and i just know this end will end on a good note.
And for you reading this post, something really wonderful will happen to you before the month runs out!

Have a great week yáll and for our muslim folks, happy sallah. Post my meat o!

Friday, November 5, 2010

My Boss is a ******!!!

Happy New month people.

Its feeling christmasy already init? or is it just me?

About that title, hmmm, after this post/rant, you can put the appropriate word/phrase.

Last Saturday was one of the most annoying days of my life, literarily.
You know when something's not going nicely and there's not one thing u can do about it? yeah, thats how it was.

I'll give u a little background info. Bosslady is actually a family friend, so while the work is professional, there's lots of unprofessional duties assigned to me that i have to do, unfortunately so. I am a Legal Assistant, Personal Assistant, Registrar, Daughter and lots of other duties that i dont even know how to describe. And i cannot complain.
You know how in Nigeria, your merits arent the only thing to get a job, connections matter too. Thats how i got this job. Thats not to say i dont deserve the job or anything. And i dont get special favours or anything. She is bloody meticulous and my work, like everyone in our office is 2ce that of our counter-parts. Anyway, u get the idea, i no fit complain.

So in that vain, last friday she said we'll be going somewhere together on Saturday. Some occassion. I was to be at her house for 7am and i was. Amidst my cramps and all.
For the life of me, i could not have imagined we were travelling out of town - some village in Kogi state, 4 hours trip!!!! As in, it did not tally with my saturday plans at all. i imagined at worse i'll be done with her by 4pm max. I must have been dreaming a very silly dream.

I was mad, angry, livid (same meaning i guess). I yelled and ranted and raved at her. In the confines and comfort of my mind of course. That was just bloody unfair. She had no reason, absolutely none to not tell me where we were going. Haba! I am a frigging adult and that does not come within my scope of duties.
She has this thing of being Jamesbondish with her routine - she doesnt really tell people she's travelling or where she's going - I get it and i honestly dont mind. As long as am not going with her. But in this case, I was in the picture, i damn well deserved to know I was going out of town.
I know there must be some reason for it, I just dont know what yet.

So, typical me, i ranted a bit to Bubbly, swallowed my anger and just tried to enjoy the trip. Read and slept. It was someone's 80th birthday. We took off around 4pm and didnt get back to Abuja around 9.30 pmish. Traffic at Kwali and Gwags.
Another shocker - We didnt eat! Yep. My stomach was empty save for some stupid digestive biscuits we had on our way back. I had to eat it cos i had to take cataflan for my cramps.
I know and pray and have faith that that kind of day will never come back again. It was just wrong.

Bubbly was so mad. He's been mad at her for a while now but thats a different book entirely.....Some political/family issues......

He is asking me to consider another job but i believe when its time for me to leave, i will leave, not just bcos my Boss is a ...... feel free to fill in the gap.
There's a reason i took this job, and i considered that it might not be easy. Until that reason is fulfilled, am not letting anyone frustrate me out of it. Not even boss lady.

Enough rants already - Phew! Good thing i let that out eventually.

So this is wishing y'all a nice wknd thats free of crap and crappy people.

Dont forget to title my post!


Tuesday, October 26, 2010

Birthday Wishes

Happy Birthday to Myne Whitman

Pray that today, the good Lord will grant all your heart desires and make you truly happy.

Pray your path will keep shinning brighter and brighter.

Cant send your birthday gift so here's your cake:

Hope you like it?

Have a blast!


Thursday, October 7, 2010

Happy Independence.

I went to the Independence Towers in Abuja to watch the fireworks on 31st Sept. It was lots of fun amidst shouts of "waoh" with the beautiful fireworks. The fireworks were really really..... awesome! At least we saw part of the 10 billion. It was also very emotional, u had to see the way people were singing the anthem, for me and most people there, it went beyond having fun, it was some kind of patriotism and loyalty, at least for that moment.

Unfortunately, evil people didnt let this happy moment linger for long....

Friday morning i went to the office just to get some work done. I actually contemplated leaving early to drive around and see whats happening around Eagles Square, thank God i didnt.
I was at work when the bomb blasts happened. From my window at work u can see Hilton and some other places quite well so i heard the blast and saw the smoke. Somehow i thot they were gun salutes or canon balls being fired in celebration. Bomb blast did not occur to me at all.

I have heard so many theories as to who might have done it and what the purpose was. What sick statement could whoever did it was trying to make? This might sound crazy but if you have to blow anyone up, why didnt u just kill the people that mattered? The bombs killed innocent people who have no say in what goes on in this country - election wise, power wise or whatever. So what was the frigging point?!!!
I think it was just sick - regardless of who dunnit - to do that kind of thing on independence day. Inglorious Basterds!!

More annoying were the events and statements that followed: How SSS actually got a warning that such a thing was going to happen and still did nothing about it. How MEND claimed responsibility and then denied it afterwards etc

Most annoying were the road blocking that security operatives engaged themselves in afterwards, causing unnecessary traffic all over the place. We come begin dey use panadol after death, to cure wetin me i no know o! they were busy doing "Ground Zero" and "Gathering forensic evidence" that nobody will hear anything out of it.
The evidence, the perpetrators and all related facts will circulate in newspapers for a few days, AIT and Channels go talk talk without any credible answer and that will be the end of it, the story will die a natural death, as usual.
Road safety and VIO con begin dey ask everybody "where are u going and what are u going to do" in broad day light like say pesin wey carry bomb go dey so stupid so tay road safety and VIO go catch am. Shio!!!

I pray God should reveal those evil men somehow and punish them. I pray that He will console the families of those that died meaningless deaths. I pray for healing for those receiving treatment.
I pray that that God will heal this country somehow, I know it can be done..... somehow.......

Friday, September 17, 2010

Best Break-Up Method

I appreciate all the advice you guys gave in my last post. Thanks. Hopefully, this matter has been laid to rest.

I had this discussion with some of my friends, all male on the best way to break up with your girlfriend.
I was of the opinion that the particular method does not really matter, pesin wey no dey do no dey do, u no fit force am.
I've always thot waiting for a guy to develop courage or time or whatever to tell you to your face that its over is like hoping for something that may not happen.
Personally, i have not met many guys who would prefer to break up with u face to face. The ones i know are the usual cowards (no offense) who would expect you to read the signs and move on.

Out of the 3 or 4 boyfriends (sometimes i get confused as to the correct number) that i've ever had, only one seemed to be bold enough to say he needed a break for a little while to "get himself together". The other ones pretty much used the "sign language" to break up with me.
What i've tagged "Sign language" usually occurs in the following stages:

- you always call him, he hardly ever calls anymore
- he is always so busy he hardly has time to pick your calls
- when he does pick your call, he apologises and asks that you pls let him call you back which he never gets round to doing for say.... 3 days
- he avoids every kind of meeting where you'll ask him what exactly is going on
-if you are lucky to find him at home or anywhere, he will make sure the environment is not condusive for such talks or he falls ill. Either ways, no discussion takes place

I know most girls prefer that a guy breaks-up with them face to face. Usually so they can have "Closure". Why this method is prefered, i really dont understand. I am not sure I like the face to face method.

I believe you should start suspecting something is really wrong when you get to stage 2. At that point, really, the game is over and waiting for him to tell you to ur face that its over is not really paramount. But hey, thats just omotee.

So the real question is, would you rather a guy broke up with you over the phone or via text message or via e-mail or giving signs or do it face to face?
Whats the best break-up method?

Wednesday, September 15, 2010

EX Files Concluded... At least for now.......

Thanks everyone for ur contributions, they were all worth it.

So that same day, we had another lengthy argument on the whole Ex issue and again, for the upteenth time stated the reasons why i have serious issues with this particular ex.
So for a reason that i still have not been able to comprehend up till this moment, the girl called me. Yes, she did!

She called and introduced her self as "My name is Sisi" and of cos i went "Sisi who?"
"Sisi, Bubbly's friend".
"Oh, hi. How are u?"
"Am fine. And u?"

"Am fine thank u."
"So how are u and how the wedding preparations?"

What?! HEllo!!!

At that point i went totally blank, like, really, how da hell am i supposed to answer that? Whose brilliant idea was it for her to call me? Wedding preps bi ti bawo?
I told her i was in the midst of something and could she kindly call me back in 5 mins.
During that time, i calmed down so i would not react in a way i will later regret, get myself together.

So 5 mins later, she calls back and said:
"Am sorry for whatever issues i may have caused between you and Bubbly. Its just that I and Bubbly have been friends for so long and its strictly platonic. I want to assure you that I have no plans that will jeopardise your relationship in anyway. I am a woman also and wont want anyone to do that to me so i cant do it to someone else. He told me long ago that he loves you and will be with you, he always talks about you. Am sorry."

Calmly i said:
"Thanks Sisi. Kind of you but am just wondering, what brought about all these?" She said:
"Well i was chatting with Bubbly and he was asking me all these wierd questions and stuff. So i asked him to give me your phone number so i can talk to you."
"I see. Thanks then. Appreciate your call. Take care now."

Again i wondered, whose bright idea was this?!?!

So i had a chat with Bubbly and told him in unequivocal terms that I have no issues whatsoever with Sisi so the phone call was unnecessary, i mean, was she informing me about their friendship or seeking for an approval or what? He must have thot it was a good idea.

Anyway, the conclusion we seem to have reached now (at least both of them), conversations cut off as from that day. I sincerely dont know if they still chat or call or text and i dont think i want to be doing any 007 stunts on top this matter. i guess thats all i can do for now. Abi how i for do now?

Tuesday, September 7, 2010

The Ex Files (Part II)

I'll just spill it out.

When it comes to exes, i (and this is strictly my opinion) believe friendship with exes are a no no. The only situations i think it could be permissible is when both parties have moved on in every definition of that phrase:
1. u r not hung up, crying and wishing he/she would come back;
2. u r not refusing to date someone cos u keep comparing them to ur ex;
3. u r not busy plotting (either physically or mentally) evil things that u wish would happen to ur ex;
4. u r not under some delusion that you are just friends while you make sure you have everything u used to have with him while u were still a couple

You have moved on when u have faced reality and picked up pieces of your life with a strong determination to let life go on in spite of the little or big hitches it brings ur way, its called life afterall.
Sure break ups occur in different forms, some more hurtful and hard to get over than the other. Also, every individual's strength is unique, some get over things fast and some dont.
But there's always the same conclusion: you do have to move on. A deliberate refusal to accept status quo is just unrealistic and somewhat silly.
Anyway, all these is just Omotee's opinion.

I'm not sure what word to use in describing what i feel about this ex issue: anger, concern, pity, beefs .... i have no idea. i just know it pisses me off sometimes sha.

Bubbly has this Ex and their "friendship" gives me concern. First i must tell u that i trust Bubbly to a reasonable extent, i love him like crazy and i trust him. however, i dont know how to pretend that some issues dont exist.
Bubbly was dating this girl and they broke off before we started dating. They were very close friends before they started dating and it went on for about 2 years or so.
Anyway, for some reasons they broke up, they both werent operating on the same frequency anymore plus she wanted to settle abroad and he wanted to come home and settle. etc

So they broke up. He moved on (i really really wanna believe). She has found it hard to move on even after he told her he has someone else etc She keeps calling to ask for his advice on EVERYTHING. what to do with her career, what to do when her mum annoys her, whether to date some guy who's been asking her out for a while, how to go about her NYSC, what business should she go into. etc EVERYTHING! I dont know what other stuff they discuss - maybe he wont tell me cos he knows how i feel about it.
And oh, she is back in Nigeria cos she was hoping he would change his mind.

When i discovered this (by going thru his fone, not snooping tho, scold me later), i asked Bubbly and he just felt it was ok for them to still be friends, he wants to "let her down gently" kind of thing. i was like: WTH?!?!
he still has some soft spot for her (i think i should have all the soft spots!) so he finds it hard to turn her away. at some point they were talking a lot during those mid night calls. i decided not to be cool about it and just said everything i felt about it: ITS NOT HAPPENING DUDE!

Why should your ex boyfriend who has left you and has moved on with someone else be ur next best friend and confidante? he keeps saying she finds it hard to get to trust people and make friends and she isnt close to her sisters and mother etc.

Truth is i dont hate the girl and i really wish i was her friend, it would have been a lot easier for me to drum some sense into her, she needs tough love not "soft landing".

Bubbly has promised me that nothing funny is ever going to happen but this isnt safe or wise for either of them, i am the only one for him etc. but i just dont feel comfortable or is this me being paranoid?

I made my feelings known, we argued over it a coupla times and i hate it when i complain or do anything that resembles nagging. i pride myself as someone who has it together (i pull everything about me together). i told him i was going to keep off it but if i smell a rat - there'll be trouble.
He has begged me to just let him handle things (its not like i will call her or anything) and i want to trust his judgment but just yesterday, i found out that they havent had the "talk" cos he is busy trying to help her register a business name for her; meaning: they have discussed and have come to a conclusion.
My ex whom i really loved and wished things would happen btw us but has moved on with someone he is planning to wed very soon is not going to be the only lawyer or friend who can see me thru every issue i have.

Ok. Quite a rant. I need ur undiluted and uncensored view on this.

Friday, August 27, 2010

Wedding Dress: Rent or Buy?

Am back!

Not like i really left though.
First i must thank Miss Nitty Gritty for checking up on me, really kind of you, thanks.

I've been on leave partially. Partially cos am supposed to be off work for the whole of August but i kinda resumed this week cos I abandoned some work and its time to get back to them before boss lady resumes.

I've had some fun. Went home for my friend's wedding with Bubbly, it was so much fun. you know yours truly likes to parry!

So this thing with Bubbly is actually very very serious now, intentions have been revealed, families have been involved and some serious plannings will soon be starting.
Its a lovely and extremely scary feeling at the same time! Relationships are so much fun until things get really serious and then u have lots of thinking and planning and compromising etc
Sometimes i want to bring out my pen and start planning, listing all those things i've dreamed about my wedding and building a home and after some thot i just get scared and close my book and mind.
Maybe i just have to grow up. Anyway, it will be sorted out one way or the other.

On that note, need ur opinion as usual on this:
WOuld you rent a wedding gown? I know its just ideal to get your own wedding dress but really, i think they are of sentimental value only, its virtually useless after that day so why buy and keep?
What do u think?

Lovely weekend y'all

Wednesday, July 21, 2010

Quick one guys:

Asides Obudu Cattle Ranch, where else can u have a nice vacation in Nigeria? Or a nice tourist spot?

Need u on this guys.


Wednesday, July 7, 2010

The EX files

I sort of absconded for a while, the usual excuse of work, life etc am tired of repeating the excuses. I'm sure i have missed a lot. There was so much to write but somehow, i just could not. My muse went on strike i guess, lol.
Guess y'all been good? Chacha, thanks so much for asking after me, was so kind of you.

Lately due to some happenings and gists, there's been this thing on my mind and i'd like you all to give me your opinions on it. Its an over flogged issue i know but i still want to know what the general concensus is.

Its the case of the EX.

Is it permissible/right/ok to still be friends with an Ex?

When should your boyfriend's/girlfriend's/husband's/wife's friendship with an EX begin to bother you or when should you raise an alarm?

Where do we draw the line (if you believe friendship with an Ex is ok) or express concern when the Ex begins to feature a lot in the picture? Is it just silly jealousy or an actual issue.

long ass comments are welcome.

have a wonderful July

Wednesday, June 2, 2010

Rich Kids and School Fees

I dont have an apt title for this rant but I know what am saying.

A friend was gisting me the amount a secondary school, one of those international wannabes charge for a session for a JS1 kid. Pls guess? Anyone? N1.4 million (one million, four hundred thousand Naira) for a JS 1 child! An SS1 student just joining the school has to pay N1.6 million. Yep, u heard me. for a session!!!!

Ok, so am not a rich kid, never have been so the idea is CRAZY to me. So, does anyone agree with me that this is some kind of madness????!!!

We can say, well, thats for rich kids now. i will tell u. my friend, a fellow lawyer like me (pls be informed, practising lawyers in abuja generally earn peanuts) enrolled his 1 yr old kid for kindgergaten. pls note, all they do is teach them a few songs and make them sleep. they paid about a 100k for that child and no, thats not been outrageous, thats one of the fair prices u can get.

The secondary school thing is particularly annoying bcos its not like angels or professors teach these kids, normal people do. except u count one of those few oyinbos that circumstance bring them here to come and teach as extraordinary. i do not also think the ACs in their class rooms and cyber cafes are extraordinary factors too that warrant the charge of such exhorbitant prices.

For some parents, its not so much about their wish to get the best education for their kids, its about their own status and pride so they can say: "my kid attends such and such school, its very expensive".
i was reading the first edition of Flair, formerly TrueLove and there was this article about parents using the school their kids attend to show that they've got "Class". Those housewives dress to the teeth just to go and drop their kids and go back home o. But i digress....

Just before u go off thinking, "Omotee, u r saying this bcos u dont have that kind of money now or u r just beefing the rich". Not exactly. Of cos i pray and hope to be rich too. But its not necessarily for N1.4m school fees and thats not me not caring about my kids education.
However, am just worried about other people who will never be that rich and will never be able to afford that kind of fees.

The idea of public school is gradually dissappearing, everyone think its for the very poor people so everyone either has their own school or attends the Rich school or flies abroad. Truth is, we all wish to study above but we all shall not be able to do that. We all cannot be able to afford to pay N1.4 mill per session for our kids.
Federal Govt Colleges used to be the best schools then, but now? Nobody wants to send their kids there so the standards have dropped, they are practically abandoned. Its all about private schools now. But the truth is, not everyone can attend a private school.

I ask again, is it such a terrible idea to resuscitate public schools?

I saw a documentary on Rivers state and saw that the Governor is building a big public school, has all the good plans and ideas for the school. If the idea for the school becomes a reality, with all i heard, nobody will be under tremendous pressure to send their kids to public schools bcos all the ACs and nice structures and good teachers in the private schools are also in the public schools.

If this trend goes on without a solution, its gonna be sad.
All schools will gradually become private. Public schools will remain in the village.
It will be said cos the rich kids and poor kids will all grow up and be in the same society.
Rich kid attends great school, becomes a good child, gets good job, gets rich and buy great expensive things just to make life comfortable.
Poor kid attends bad school or no school, never finds a job at all, has no money to even eat.

Here's where they all meet:
Poor kid becomes armed robber or militant and robs or kidnaps rich kid. in an unlucky situation, poor kid kills rich kid.

The world is a complete circle; we all still meet somehow.

So, is it just me or this is an actual issue?

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

Inspirational Quotes to crack you up!

1. Dont drink and drive,
you may hit a bump and spill your drink.

this is just crazy, could not stop laughing when i saw it. u can die but not spill ur drink!

2. He calls me bitch like its a bad thing.

really, i've stopped feeling bad about anybody calling me 'ashawo', before nko? whoever wants to insult me should be innovative (and recieve an innovative bitch slapping)

3. Never under-estimate the power of foolish people in a large crowd.

right on point!

4. Ever since i stopped drinking, i have been thirsty.

mscheww, continue now....shayo master!

5. Well mannered women never made it in history.

mother theresa, joan of arc etc, they must have been kinda bad right? we just didnt know

6. Chocolate, Coffee, Men: some things are just best rich!

i loooooooove this, its on my fridge, and its so on point!

Ok, i am not as jobless as i act or look, i have simply refused to do my work at this moment, court rose some minutes ago. Oga has put us under tremendous pressure since last week so i have decided not to kill myself o jare.
I love those quotes, wish i could be very daring to put them stickers on my car when i finally have one but i know already that i cannot do it.

So whats the craziest sticker on ur car, door, anything? how daring and crazy are u?

Monday, May 17, 2010

Where is LG?? And MDM?

Hi loves!

This aint a real post.

Where is LG (Lady Guide)?? the girl has dissappeared, like lots of people. Anyone knows her? Just concerned.
And MDM (Miss Definitely Maybe; My Mother's Child). Anyone who has news, pls lets know. Know nothing is wrong with them, just concerned.

Blog Awards:

Tried to nominate, think its the hardest thing (asides doing my actual job), there are a zillion bloggers and a million ones that deserve awards. will see.

have a great week everyone!

Thursday, May 13, 2010

Manners - do people still have it?!

I've been meaning to do a post on something else entirelyand earlier this week but trust the Boss lady, she has found a way of keeping me gainfully employed this week. Plus, typing right now aint no fun -

I am a very fast and furious typist, as in, i type so fast my keyboards smoke, ok, not exactly but u get the point, am very fast. Prof made sure i started learning it right from primary 6, paid off cos i've always been a lawyer/secretary.

So, last weekend, i went to go and fix my nails. I never do that but i saw some girl's own and it looked really nice, always wanted to do it, decided to try it (thats the 2nd time in all my life).
as expected, everyone thot it looked nice, my fingers were heavier and felt akward. i found it difficult to do my normal stuff like ..... u know.

to type - na wahala. as in, see ur sister, it was hard. Jenifa for do better pass me sef. its like a village girl wearing 6 inch high heels for the first time, omo, e no funny!
i concluded by asking myself "WHO SEND ME MESSAGE O?" so am pulling them out tomorow, abegi!

i digress. to the message of the day....

when people hear manners, ettiquettes, respect etc, what exactly goes thru their mind?

this guy added me on facebook like a zillion times, kept refusing but found we grew up in the same town and attend same church, so out of courtesy (or so i thot) i accepted. he keeps trying to chat, i always ignore. so today out of the magnanimity of my heart, i responded to his chat. hi, hello, wassup etc he went:

boy: so i guess u r married right? u look like u r married

me: oh, married people have looks now? how do they look?

boy: yes now. you are fat and u look matured.

(in my head, bells went off)

me: XCUSE ME?! did u just call me FAT?!

boy: yes now, i know what i see.

that was it. i practically went off the hook and delivered a lecture.

u dont just call people fat, its rude. least of all to a lady, least of all to someone who is not particularly your friend, u dont go about telling them they are fat. u keep ur personal opinions of them to yourself until you have the kind of relationship that allows u to say stuff like that. of cos u and i are not going to get to that point where u call me fat............. etc

he said sorry o, he didnt mean it. i just couldnt be bothered, i told him everything i had to tell him and went off. am gonna delete him.

ok, maybe what he did wasnt that much, it was just to serve as some deterence. this kind of boy goes scott free and next he's going to say my boobs look sexy, i mean, really! he's probably paying for some other peoples sins of rudeness.

thats how someone posted a pic of me at salsa on her facebook page sometime ago, and a guy i've known for long and whom we had no love lost btw us decided to comment and say -

"how omotee wey fat like this go fit dance salsa?"

my other friends on the page immediately told him how wrong it was of him to say that and how he shd wait and hear from me. i replied there and sent a strongly worded msg to him of how it was extremely rude of him to call me fat on facebook and how it wasnt his biz wax if i could dance or not no matter how fat. he damaged an already akward relationship. he apologised but hey, he entered the list of mannerless folks.

i think its important that poeople should know what to say to whom and where. u dont go slapping the butts of someone u r not dating or have a close relationship with (yep, know a guy who did that to a friend).
or a lawyer i saw in court who wanted to get friendly and after greeting me goes "so whats that your number na?" i can cite a zillion examples. some people are just rude!
its important that people should know how to talk and address people. manners is not just kneeling and prostrating for elderly people or pretending like you dont talk in their presence.

anyway, i have 4 files to work on and just heard one is to be handed in on saturday, gotta go now!
may your days be free from mannerless twarts!!

Thursday, April 29, 2010

Now this is the kind of thing a mother sees and shouts CHIMMM OOOO!!!!!!!
i know say na pikin but abeg, wetin d little nigger dey think?!?!?
Plus the snr nigga who took the picture, maybe na film sha and na director say make im try am, or what could be responsible for this madness ehn?!?!

Anyway, my post really isnt about the boy who was about to destroy the very essence of his being as a man, its just something i thot would crack u up a bit.

1. I love rainy saturday mornings in august, the type where the rain would just not stop and am jobless. curl up in bed with a nice novel and soft music, its my definition of tranquility.

2. I love dressing up and looking good. It may not happen always but i love the confidence that comes with you knowing u look good even b4 anyone comments on how nice u look. I love everything that comes with looking good, jewelries, nice cloths, shoes etc anything (very vain abi?)

3. I love cakes. every kind of lovely cakes. esp the ones that have chocs and fruits. a nicely done sinful choc cake gives me an orgasmic feeling. its just...... great!!!

4. I love cute bathrooms. anytime i go thru catalogues, i just dream of how nice i'd love my bathroom to be, with scented candles all over the place.

5. I love music. i have an eclectic taste. i love everything except hard rock and rap. i can tolerate some rap but never hard rock. good music lifts my soul all the time.

6. I love cooking. Yes. the idea of turning everything available into some tasty and beautiful looking meals make me very happy.

7. I so love having people around me. like hanging out with lots of friends, inviting people over and just generally having fun. i love people (like anyone doesnt) i love doing anything that will make someone happy. its fulfilling.

8. I love apples. If i there's the chance, I could eat 8 large apples in a day.

9. Now the strange and weird one: I love to pee. I love peeing after holding it for a while, i love the relief that comes with it and the way it just makes my tummy go dooooooooowwwwwwwwwwnnnn. strange eh?

10.I love blogging. doing blog rounds, dropping comments and all. It makes my ordinary life much more fun.

so far, what do we have in common?

(i didnt think people shd be categorised as things so i didnt mention pple i love. plus that would be a whole book!)

I tag everyone that loves to do a tag.

nice weekend ahead

Monday, April 26, 2010

Thank You


First off i have to apologise that i have not thanked you all for the messages and calls for my birthday, the usual excuse, WORK and no internet last week!
i really really appreciated it, God bless y'all!

My birthday was low key but quite good day. its so nice when people remember ur birthday, dont mind me, i get excited about little stuff like that. so i was all smiles that day with aching cheeks to show for it, but it was pleasant having the aching cheeks.
Later in the evening, i hung out with a few friends and some of Bubbly's friends too. just had suya and drinks, gisting laughing and making sure nobody was sitting too close to my very beautiful and sexy 17 yr old cousin. the girl is fine and Bubbly's friends were trying to get close. i'll be some strict mummy abi? i think so too!

oh and the gifts, u know i love, gifts, who doesnt. i got lovely stuff from my friends. still got gifts till last saturday sef. Bubbly's folks got me gifts too, aint i just blessed.
Thanks Bubbly for making my life so beautiful, u're simply wonderful!

have a nice week everyone, may good and special things happen to you this wonderful week.

Wednesday, April 14, 2010


I'm here to say how much I love you

(Cos you love me unconditionally)

I'm here to say how much I adore you

(You're too kind and wonderful to me)

Lord am not here to complain, about my many problems

(They are there, almost overwhelming but hey, am alive, there's hope)

By your spirit and ur Grace, am confident u'll solve them

(You live and so I can face tommorow)

I'm here to say I love you.....

I love to love you Lord

....Thank you for your unconditional love!!!

(That was me getting emotional and spiritual)

Thank you everyone for your text messages and (missed) calls. I am so grateful. I feel so loved right now.

I shall be back to give you full details. Have a great day y'all!

Tuesday, April 13, 2010

My Birthday, the Number, Cramps, Clinics etc

I am as disturbed as the title, just ignore it, its the cramps.

Imagine, i've got the horrible cramps again, they just wont go away would they? its threatening to spoil my day as am grovelling, crouching and wincing in pain. this curse of being a woman! maybe i'll go get knocked up - wait, that leads to labour right?? OH HELL!!! (how apt that am listening to "No Woman No Cry)

so i go to the clinic and trust civil service, it took me several minutes to get to see the doc finally, stupid protocols that have to be adhered to even if the patient is dying. whats it with clinics and nurses anyway? they just have to give u silly attitudes, i was extremely pissed.

thankfully the doc is a kind woman and prescribed drugs and then it took the nurse/pharmacist another 15 mins to get me the frigging drugs, an elderly woman who i'd have liked but instead, she started giving me funny attitude too, i wonder if they think people just like to come and visit the clinic and see what it looks like. she was busy laughing and chatting with some other lady. right that moment, i wished i was the CR so i can yell and transfer the pains to her and then issue her a query. finally, i got my drugs and left.

then the guy i asked to bring my breakfast took another one long hour (maybe not that long sha) and i was told to eat well before i take the drugs. EVERYONE is just trying to complicate my mood!

ok, cramps mess my days up so am just having a bad day. guess the pill is kicking in now.
again i ask, must i have cramps?!
better the cramps today than tommorow cos aint nothing stopping me from eating choc cakes tommorow.

so as promised in previous post, my number is 08035837027. would love to hear from u tommorow

have a cramp and annoying-people free day y'all!

Thursday, April 8, 2010

Describing the process of SEX

Never mind the title, its just some crazy stuff i heard in Dr. House Season I by that girl....cant remember her name now (yeah i just caught the house bug all these while). There's this part where she was explaining what the body goes thru during sex:

"Pupils dilate, arteries constrict.
Core temperature rises, heart races, blood pressure skyrockets, respiration becomes rapid and shallow.
The brain fires bursts of electrical impulses from nowhere to nowhere.
Secretions spit out of every gland and the muscles tense and spasm like you're lifting 3 times your body weight.
Its violent, its ugly and its messy"

WTH?!! thats some crazy description!!!!

Hope u had a great easter?

Mine was.....
Prof (thats my father) summoned us to come home for thanksgiving on Sunday. i really didnt want to go but i had no choice. it was extremely hot and i was sweating like a xmas goat! Sunday was kinda fun sha. We all (Prof, mum, my lil brother and me) had to sit in the front row and wearing "anko" (same kind of materia) which is something we NEVER do. my brother and i DO NOT as a rule sit in front of the church, or sit together or wear the same cloth for any reason. i think the last time we did the anko thing was during gran's burial. i sit in the last row with my friends and do everything but listen to the sermon, ushers always have issues with us. that was a long time tho and we've changed. so u can imagine how uncomfortable it was sitting in front and greeting EVERYBODY in church, my cheeks were sore. and afterwards i had to start answering the most popular question "When are we coming to eat rice" or "When are u bringing him" or "Do quick o, time is going o" which just annoys me. I answer them "Lets go buy a husband when u discover a mall that sells good ones". ok, not exactly, i only answer them in my mind amidst very fake smiles. its tres annoying!

we had a reception in the house after church and there were lots of folks from church. Prof invited everybody against the 150 or so people he told my mum. it made me realise one thing: i really love parties when we are not the ones hosting the guests, its more fun that way dont u think?

anyway, it was ok, i invited all my friends (trust me) and there was lots of gisting, laughing and drinks and cake (they came late so no food for them, lol). i realised in spite of the stress that it really is fun to be home again. it always is.
it would be better if telepathy can really work tho, the only aspect of traveling that i like is closing my eyes and getting to my destination without going on the road or in the air, its stressful on the road and its scary in the air. all in all it wasnt bad. i returned on monday to come see my beloved Bubbly. looking fwd to the next holiday.

my birthday is next wednesday, 14th april. i shall be 28. i don old o! i have license to eat the most sinful choc cake on that day with a large cup of ice cream, its my birthday now! like sugarking, i shall be doing something daring, i'd love to get a text msg or phone call from my blog family. i'll drop the number on wednesday.

i spoke to sugarking!!! he's absolutely cooooooooolllllllll and funny! thats the first blogger i will speak to except for those that i've known before. it was nice.
have a nice day y'all!

Monday, March 29, 2010


halloz!!! hope u had a great weekend?
am jobless so i thot to bore u with some pictures, what do u think?

1. really, granny, what is this? maybe she has 'mad cow disease".

2.WTH????!!!!!! where im dey go?

3. umm, for real? which is she trying to keep in shape? will the gym help?

4. waoh! happy birthday?
5. big reason

6. the sign reads " da ile si ibi yi ki o s'oriburuku tabi ki o s'ofo tomotomo ninu odun yi"
which means "dump refuse here and (literarily) have a bad head (and be cursed with bad luck) or perish together with your children this year.
guess the conventional DO NOT DUMP REFUSE HERE did not work, this sure worked!
7. desperate measures for desperate yahoo yahoo boy! i am trying to imagine what he is saying "oya, send the money now now!"
have a great day people!

Friday, March 26, 2010

From Happily Married to DIVORCED

I know am not allowed to talk about my job, like our cases, but then am not their lawyer so technically, the lawyer/client priviledge isnt my biz now.

so its about a divorce case, i really do feel bad seeing divorce cases. makes me wonder why 2 people who loved themselves enough to tied the knot just throw it all away at some point, its especially bad when they are a young couple.

this lady came in heavily pregnant last december when she just filed the suit. she's got a kid for dude before, so she wants a divorce and naturally, her papers contain all the nasty things he's done to her and how he kicked her out, pregnancy et al.
dude gets a lawyer too and he also talked about how irresponsible she is, how she's got a controlling mother who is equally mannerless and a sister who leads a really wayward life.

one of his complaints is that he told the girl before they married that she had to quit her job at the bank. dude happens to be a business man who doesnt have much education. he says the mother-in-law keeps encouraging her to continue the job at the bank against his wishes and their agreement. etc. wish u could read the papers yourselves and see just how messy things can get between couples.
i wish i could call them to order and think of their 2 babies before doing this but who am i to say anything? i am a single girl, dont think i know that much about how marriage works, it still amazes me.

all these just got me thinking: if they had these much problems and serious issues, how da hell did they end up getting married and knocking themselves up to result to 2 kids?!
the girl is so pretty and young and u could see she really looks frustrated, she was crying the first time she came to court when her stupid lawyer was messing up her case and she was trying to get custody of their first kid, pending the divorce suit itself though. i couldnt help looking at her and pitying her.

i kept wondering what they were saying and doing while they were courting, didnt they resolve these obvious serious issues? if she truly agreed to quit her work at the bank why is she backing out on it? and is dude having these issues cos he is suddenly intimidated of her success and how much money she could make out of it?

when 2 people say they love each other so much and agree to mix oil and water (marry), why cant they settle whatever issues come their way? of cos there are lots of examples around us of how bad marriages can end up.
on a personal note, my parents tho not divorced dont have a good marriage, in fact, in ways that matter, they are divorced but still living together. they hardly talk and dont even care enough to fight anymore. this has been on for about ......... 20 years? sure it got worse over the years but its always been rocky. i've intervened and sort of lost hope on them, i think i just wanna ask my pop one day: if my mom dies one day, will he start crying and give speeches about how much he loved her? i think am gonna shut him up or just burst out laughing, that would be a joke.
did they love each other at all?

while i was in secondary school, i had a friend whose parents too had problems, were not divorced but theirs was equally terrible. they are separated. they came separately to visit her one day and didnt as much as say hello to each other, after 5 kids! how on earth did they get there?

i am not married so i dont know how to answer these questions. it makes me wonder when i do get married:
will we wake up one day and hate each other so much we want to get divorced?
will we have issues so bad i wouldnt care what happens to him and vice versa?
what if we have problems and am willing to sort it out and one day he just decides, no, he doesnt want to settle it, he just wants a divorce, what will i do?
do i have the ability to stay married forever?

am going to be 28 next month so naturally, everyone (including me) expects that i should be married or at least, be preparing serious towards it.
with all these things, what i have seen personally, i'm just scared of the idea of marriage when i think about the nitty gritty of it.
dont get me wrong, i do want to marry. i want to have a companion and be someone's help-meet. i want to have beautiful kids that i can train up one day. i want to have my family. the idea of me getting married appeals to me and its not just about the marriage ceremony.

but in spite of all these, i am scared of marriage. its really scary. there's not guarantee that this is how my marriage will turn out, that i will be forever happy with my husband. no certainties, just hopes and wishes and faith that it will turn out well. thats it. looks like a thin thread.

i and Bubbly had a big row on tuesday and we settled it all yesterday. it was a small issue that blew up into something else cos normally, we dont go to sleep without talking about whatever's bothering us, thats the rule. and somewhere in my mind yesterday before we settled it, i just got tired and thot i'd just quit.
i dont know why and how my mind entertained that thot cos i really love Bubbly. he actually said he thinks deep down i am scared of commitment. sure i argued that no, i dont. but maybe i do?
its all so scary. will i just easily give up on my marriage when problems come, cos i know they will come?

am i the only 28 year old female thinking this way?

these folks, are the thots in my mind this friday morning and i thot to share it with the one people who'd listen. getting pretty personal eh?

for those of u who have braved it and married (mrs. sydelle, enkay), i salute ur courage and pray that u'll never ever get divorced, no matter what.
for those of u who havent, pray u find the courage. i heard (and have also seen) that it does work out and marriage is truly a beautiful thing.

of course i'd love to hear ur thots.

have a great weekend y'all!