A few questions have been in my mind for long and each time i try to discuss it with my friends, i just get funny answers. I just want to know if i'm being naive or silly or unrealistic:
Does or Should marriage for a woman mean an entirely different and new life?
Ok, thats kinda vague, will explain, hope not to lose you.
Usually, the trend these days for us ladies is that we get married, ditch all our old friends.
I dont think it should be so.
I'm of the opinion that your husband can never be ur all in all. somehow ur husband cannot be able to fill in as ur husband, girlfriend, sister and all those things our girlfriends mean to us.
Dont get me wrong, I am all for marriage, in fact, i wanna get married like yesterday. i love men (yes i do!), i am a bloody romantic and all that. dont think this is one of those activism thingis.
I am also aware that when u get married, you explore another realm of your life, its so different, time and energy tasking and all that. Things cannot definitely be like when you were single and
But then, is becoming Mrs. So so the ultimate goal? Isnt there something more you want to achieve? isnt life going to continue? Is marriage all that there is to life? Does marriage magically turns ur life over and bam! u r a new creation?
For instance, when u ditch all ur friends cos u r now married, what happens to days when there's something u want to discuss with a woman? days when baby does this funny thing and u just want to talk to a woman about it? days when u just want to have good times with your girl friends? days when you want to get a certain recipe? shopping? ideas? etc???
times when u and hubby arent having it so sweet and u just want to talk to a woman about it? and yes, i know about all the do-not-involve-the-third-party-in-your-marriage-rule but God has created us in such a way that we cant solve things all on our own, u only apply wisdom on your choice of person to talk to about things.
So when these kind of days come, what happens? there's suddenly no one to call on because we left them out when status changed.
And then there's this funny issue. Your husband suddenly dont like your friends whom they knew u with in the toasting days. they dont want u to go anywhere asides work. its going to be war before u are allowed to hang out with ur girlfriends, am not talking late night parties o, am talking normal shopping, birthdays etc. Trust me, in this 24th century, i still see men like that!
these men suddenly think ur friends especially the single ones will corrupt u. these ur friends will suddenly be able to "spoil ur head", something they couldnt do when u were 18 - 23, this feat will be achieved now that you are 28!!!!!!!
i have a friend whose husband doesnt want her to keep in touch with me anymore cos i might corrupt her. poor me is in abuja and chic is in london o!
i also have a friend who isnt married but Oga dictates who she talks to or hangs out with via phone, in fact, he prefers that she is always alone, all the time. she doesnt seem to complain so whats my own, it only makes me wonder....
But really, i wanna know, is that how its meant to be with marriage?
On me and my cockroaches, since the day i did that post, i havent seen them o! Praise da Lord!!!!!!!
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
Halloz good people!
Remember Mr. Nice? That very nice man that wanted to marry me? Ok, read Jacob and Esau, he was Jacob.
So, in February, my younger brother came from school to spend a few days with me. My AC was bad and we had just a standing fan, it was extremely hot but repairing an old AC or buying another one was not in my budget then.
So Mr. Nice came on a hot sunday afternoon, brought me an electrician to repair my old AC. oga elect said my AC was very old fashioned and almost useless and there'll be no sense repairing it. so i said thanks, do not bother. Mr. Nice took oga elect away and a few mins later, they came back with a tokunbo AC and fixed it.
I told Mr. Nice i wasnt ready to buy an AC o, that he shouldnt bother. my friends eyed me and said to shut up. "Thats his own humble way of buying me an AC so i should stop behaving naive and foolish". So he said we should manage it (teasingly) so my brother will enjoy his stay. meanwhile, he said it was a temporary arrangement thing. Duration? Payment? I asked and he refused to answer, smiled and kept quiet.
Meanwhile, neither the AC nor Mr. Nice's nice gestures were able to secure a relationship. i just never liked him, there was something unreal about him. To spoil it all, he started complaining about my friends, one in particular, according to him was too loud for his liking. Now, i do not like guys who think u should discard all ur friends just bcos he's your boyfriend. And pls note, in this case, i had not even agreed to date Mr. Nice, that was crystal clear! and yet he wanted to start sacking my friends! later he will give me his list of approved friends, shio!
without longing things, Nice disappeared, left AC.
suddenly out of the blues, Nice sends me a text saying "hi. d xter that rented the AC will be coming for it, he has refused to sell and using the impulsive deal i had with him to exploit me. let me know when he can see you".
Ehn! can u imagine? i ignored the text, waiting for him to text. then two days later he sends anotehr one saying "hi. guess u didnt get my earlier text, cant pay the aircondition man a dime again after almost 20k, unless he's ready to sell. let me know when he can come for it. Nice".
Eh! people no dey get shame o! this same guy was pestering me last year to take one of his cars, seeing that i have no car and he has 3 and he doesnt want to see me suffer. i refused to take his car, i dont think i need it now i said. i just thot i couldnt take a car from someone who wanted to marry me and i wasnt ready. my awuf no dey reach like that. so, i wonder what would have happened if i had taken the car? na so i go dey shockingly naked cos the mechanic would want the care back!!!
so we exchanged several text messages, i told him to come carry his AC on sat morning, that i wonder what took him so long blah blah blah. the guy was furious and started sending texts of how he had spent 40k! and lately he sent me a text saying "I" should remove the AC myself and put it by my door so the electrician can come pick it.
E gbami o! shuoo! so now am an electrician! of cos i let him know there's a reason i read law and just in case he has forgotten, i am a woman! let the bloody electrician or himself come and remove the AC and fix my old one back! shame still dey catch am, he hasnt called me since. i swear the next time he calls or texts concerning him, i will shock him. i have plans for him whenever he comes to remove his AC.
i mean, all this fuss over tokunbo AC wey i no beg for o! i was happy and contended with my fan o! yeye man! he pulled that stunt that day to impress my friends and brother, they all just felt "oh, he's so kind and caring". greek gift! am buying a chacha AC right after i pay my house rent. shio!
something just made me happy sha, i'm glad i refused to date or marry this guy, something was wrong tho i couldnt place a finger to it. all my friends thot i was stupid for not dating this "highly nice and comfortable guy". am glad i didnt. wetin for happen?
Monday, June 8, 2009
Hey y'all! whats good? been ages.
I've been managing to read some blogs and drop comments when i can. I have been extremely busy (thats everyone's cliche, who dey play with sand?!). Work seems to be unending and am always on the move! I wish the plenty wahala would show by some weight reduction but no, i still look the same!
And truthfully, i havent posted any cos i havent gotten anything nice to blog about, but then, i have one, no, two issues bothering me that i want to share. this first issue was inspired around 12.59 this morning, i just felt my blog folks might be able to help:
My house/accomodation/room (its a self-con flat, with kitchen inside the room) is quite spacious and neat. I am not exactly extremely neat but i'm quite neat; empty my trash cans, dont (always) leave plates overnight, sweep my room and generally keep the room in good shape. i have a room mate that's quite neat too, we make a good team. i love scrubbing floors and washing anything. i have a friend that's kinda squatting (long story) so that makes 3 women but we do well, room is quite big.
So my reason for this elaborate description is this: why da hell would cockroaches try to steal my peace???!!!! i absolutely hate junks, i throw away anything that represent junks, i have no emotional attachment to bottles and nice containers, so, to the best of my ability, i make sure they have no place in my home. there's camphor in every frigging corner of my room cos i heard they keep them away but guess what??!! just like winch, those stupid creatures show up at night, when u are in deep sleep and creep on u!!! they probably have a secret headquarters in my room or something. yes, its sad but true! we dare not sleep without cans of raid or baygon and sleepers and brooms nearby, all bcos of those little demons!
you have to see the rate and speed at which we wake up, put on the torch and start searching for cockroach, its almost crazy, u feel anything on ur skin or cover-cloth, u just jump, like some automated machine programmed to jump. the sight is very funny but we never laugh cos its annoying! my roomy actually prayed about it!
can u imagine?! chics like us, cockroach dey harrass us. i have used all the liquids and insecticides that i have seen and all they do is keep away for hours and show up later. we kill at least one every frigging day! pls, just before i go find babalawo to do jazz, what can i do again? am sincerely annoyed! they've interrupted beautiful dreams and my sound sleep severally and then i dream later that a cockroach entered in between my bread and i toasted and ate them!!!!!!!!!!!! PLS HELP!!!!!!
i'll do a post on the next bugging issue. just before i do, may i ask, what da hell is wrong with being a MISS?!?!?!
my friend and i (from previous post) are gradually coming back to terms. we been gisting and we danced for hours together yesterday. he sure did get over it, or so i hope. details later too.