Sunday, February 24, 2013

Appropriate name for your spouse

So, there's this couple's forum meeting we have periodically in my church. Just a place to rub minds and learn, all towards a better marriage. Good stuff.
We got to the point where the female speaker said its not good to address your husband by his first name especially in public. That it's rude and disrespectful etc. 
I totally disagreed. 

I know it's something lots of people frown out, in fact, I'm not sure any tribe in Nigeria tolerates it. I remember the look on my ex nanny's face when she heard me call my husband by name, it was funny. Na name you dey call am??? I'm not sure the look she gave me would have been different if I had slapped him,lol. 

I've asked him severally what he'd prefer I called him and he's told me quite honestly that he doesn't mind the first name basis. His fear earlier on had been that his kids will first call him by his first name before daddy. But it's never been an issue. Pet names are just.... What's the word I'm looking for now..... Predictable? 
I don't have anything against pet names, I just love first names. But I'm also mindful of the fact that society will interfere. I remember how my mil and I had this funny thing going on; whenever we chat and I say "Bubbly" she goes "you mean your husband" cos Bubbly and my younger brother are name sakes. But of course she knows who am talking about, that was just her subtle way of saying its wrong. Or she'll say "tell your prince.....". It always amused me.

But really people, what's the big deal? One of the speakers tried to balance it by saying do what works for u, but also you can't ignore societal perspection. 
I don't know. 
Oh, after plenty deliberations between bubbly and I, we settled on .... Wait for it.... Cupcake! Now where's that smiley thing when u need one. 
We had a laugh. He asked what happened to Bubbly, i said its his blog name. Oh he suggested Sir Chops a lot. Dude truly can eat! I suggested headmaster too. 
I called him cupcake like 5 times before morning. It was always cos I wanted a favour. 

So what do u think? Indulge us, what do u call ur partner?


Blessing said...

Pet names are cool...especially in know our people are to avoid further disgusted looks, cupcake works! I actually really like it. I've been trying to think of one for my boo...cuz sweetheart-darling-baby, etc is BORING!!!

Myne Whitman said...

I think it's probably cultural, living here, and being not Yoruba myself, it's never come up. I call him his name when others are there, alone, I use a sweet name :)

'Lara said...

I never knew people had issues with calling your significant by his first name...really, our culture is something oh.

Omotee! said...

Blessing, well said. I just wonder if it doesn't mean conforming to certain imagined standards......

Mine abi? Ngwanu. Maybe I will adopt onye isi..... Hehehehe

Lara I tire o!

Random One said...

Cupcake kwa?...he'll let you call him that outside the house. Lol

It's a generational [yoruba?] thing. Our parents generation definitely frown on calling your 'Ade ori' by name outside...but abeg gone are the days of calling ones husband 'Daddy'...umm, yea, no!

I say whatever work.

sykik said...

Lol...cupcake ke....a picture of cake comes to mind immediately. I call Hubby "sweetness" has tayed that I have been calling him that sha...even before we got married and sometimes it's "baby" ....if I call him by his given name , he knows he's gotten on my wrong side........ Infact am sure he goes "motigbe, what have I done this time"

Mamuje said...

I call him 'Babe' or 'Baby'....or whatever comes to mind. Recently, I have decided to call him his first name until i find something suitable. Hahahaha...the whole 'baby' thing is quite predictable and tiring sometimes jor.

Fluffycutething said...

The one I sha won't do is call him daddy! Sometimes when dealing with domestics and I need to refer to him I say "junior's daddy" said etc etc
I call him by name whenever and wherever else. I'm with the speaker who said " do what works for you but be mindful of societal perception"

Might I also add that I absolutely cringe when talking with friends and instead of saying John,Peter or Paul they say and my husband said .... Like I nor get husbAnd for house mcheeewwwww

Omotee! said...

Fluffy my husband said syndrome annoys the living thing outta me. Hian. Pele oni husband. Mschewwww

naijawife said...

I don't know o. Me my mum called my dad by his first name. And my aunt's call their hubbies by their first name. I never even heard before that someone shouldn't call their hubby by his first name