Thursday, April 30, 2009

Remeber the stupid things i used to think and do when i was a kid. some i still have not forgotten, i got seriously walloped!
- remember one day, think i was 6, for no particular reason, i decided to shit (poop) in our car garrage. mum packed her car and saw it. before asking why, she beat the living shit (literarily) out of my life. i still wonder, why on earth did i do that?!?! the house had like 5 toilets!
- i had lots of aunts and cousins staying with us then and so the aunties fetch water all the way up when pressure cant go up. so after filling several drums, i decided to put like a few drops of pop's cleaning fluid (for his sax and stuff) in each of the containers filled with water (just to know what will happen). it spoilt it all and looked like kerosine and water and smelt horrible and oily. mum asked, i denied, she got to know and whooped me seriously.
- we used to have a little kiosk in front of the gate then, we sold petty stuff (to keep gran busy) including sweets. eclairs eyin alangba (tiny egg like multi-colored sweets), goody goody, gogo etc. i started stealing eclairs and eyin alangba then, i pop one at every opportunity.
on the day of reckoning, a neibors kid came over and saw lots of eclairs wrap behind the shop and asked if everyone who bought eclairs eat it behind our shop. asiri tu!! my yansh don open!
in short, mum found out. she beat me like a thief (well, i was)! even pop couldnt bear it and just left the house. after beating me, with the dripping nose et al, she forced me to eat "I give u food all the time" and gave me a newspaper where they showed thieves at a firing squad. she said "thats what happens to thieves, no matter what they steal, some of them stole N5 and see them now".
It worked cos anytime i got tempted, i just remember the firing squad.
- there was also the addiction of plucking fruits from people's house, ripe or unripe, we just had to pluck, usually on our way back from school (pri school). the man will chase us, screaming and cussing, we just kept doing it. somehow, i never got caught. interestingly, we had lots of fruit in the house, why must we steal?
- one man bred all types of dogs too, alsasians etc he didnt even have fruits. we just had to disturb the dogs to see if they could chase us. one unfortunate day, a fierce dog was tied loosely to a cassava plant, of cos it broke loose and chased us! while running, all i was thinking was "If this dog bites or eats me, my mum will probably beat my remains still". i cant remember why the dog left us.
- whenever it rained then, i always sit by the window, imagining that angels are gathered round a very big and mighty sieve, with God (remember He is big and mighty) pouring water into the sieve, and thats how it rains. i always sit there hoping to catch a glimpse of my imagination.
i am very very horny with nothing to do about it! unfortunately, i am ovulating and coming accross things that will stimulate me! oh what a day.

Tuesday, April 14, 2009


Today has finally come and contrary to how i felt earlier (Help, I'm Aging), i do feel good today.

I feel greatful and thankful to God, I have life, I can have every other thing He permits.

I have recieved some gifts already. U wont believe my colleagues gave me jewelries, perfume, OMG, everyone knows how vain I am!!! My senior colleague gave me cash, and u wont believe, he asked me to "Buy Shoes"!!!

Other gifts are coming, I say that by faith (pls refer to earlier post).

I have recieved zillions of calls and text messages, people just remember my birthday, i just feel good! How on earth could I have thot I would be gloomy?!?!

Will let u know how the day goes.


Thursday, April 9, 2009


I read Repressed One's blog yesterday and its a really good piece, inspiring, thot provoking. If i wont be guilty of stealing copyright (or somfin), that piece inspired this post.
(And make i no lie, i get brain block or something and life is generally uneventful at the mo, hence this ........ post)

The post made me realise how ungrateful i have been.

Dont get me wrong, I am always so full of thanks to God, but its almost as much as i complain and nag Him about the things He has not done. Sometimes i want to have a tete-a-tete with God and say things like "Baba, I offend u? You answer some people sharp sharp but my own go tey, wetin i do sef?"

Sometimes, i see people, who i feel i am better than, characterwise etc. and they seem to get the best out of life.

I see and know chics who have "lived the life" without care of what might happen tommorow but still get the best of what goody two shoes still dream of getting one day.

For instance, you see chics that are outrightly wayward (to say the least) and eventually, they get married to really good men (at least, they appear so). And it makes me wonder, is that some definition of "divine favour" or "grace"?

If i have to put down my thoughts on this, i probably will have to write a whole book.

But i choose not to bore u. I just want to say:

God I'm thankful for lots of things, in spite of my complaints and naggings.

Am thankful for the gift of life, without which there would be nothing.
All those trips I make every week, with crazy drivers and horrible roads,
Some make a quarter of those trips, and they have horrible experiences,
or worse still, lose their lives.

Am thankful for good health.
Lots of people have better diets and are more disciplined
But still they fall ill and spend the better part of their lives in
hospitals and on drugs.
But i eat crap and dont exercise and I am healthy.

Am grateful for the job I have,

Even though most of the time I feel like strangling my boss,
Sometimes it seems like the reason for his existence is to frustrate my life,

But i dont want to imagine life without a goal or target to meet in a day.

Am grateful for all my friends,

Sometimes i feel like I have too many of them,

But they are all so wonderful and important to me.

Am grateful for my little family,
Not perfect though, lots of things could be better,
But I love them nonetheless, they are all I have got.

Am grateful for being able to love,
Loving could be so wonderful, so heavenly you cannot explain it,
And yet, it could be one of the most hurtful things to feel,
The pains and hurts we feel from loving......... I cant explain
But I do not want to imagine what life would be without feelings of love.

Am grateful for the one who invented the idea of Blogging,
How would I have met the wonderful, crazy and intelligent people I have met through blogging?
Shakespeares of all sorts and in their own rights.
People who read my silly and uninspiring posts but are still nice enough to drop comments,
The funny friendship we build through blogging,
It makes me wonder what I have been doing with myself prior to this great discovery.

And to conclude this random thots,
The author of my devotional this morning gave one of the reasons to be thankful (or content):
No matter how wierd you think your case is, someone has a worse case.

I am thankful as I wait for mybirthday gifts. Here's a list of things that will make me very grateful:
- A BMW X5 (forgive the citation, u know the car). I've been in it and it suits me a lot.
- A lovely wristwatch. The one on me right now is a VERY FAKE DKNY! Make i no disgrace una.
- A big and sinfully rich choc cake (u know i missed out on that during vals, pls someone, make up for it).
- Ummm....... Will update the list very soon. I have one yeye Notice of Appeal to do, Oga is yelling for me now.

Peace and Love!