Thursday, July 31, 2008

Drama on the Net!

today is been fun! i refused to do anything meaningful today at work, went to court and came back and been on the net since!
na one yeye boy dey find my trouble o! he wants to toast my friend and he dey talk rubbish! 2mrw jo.

Wednesday, July 30, 2008

Fab wknd, crazy week

Hey, been a while init? like anyone cares!

Had a very very fabulous weekend, think i said it already. hooked up with my girls from sec school, havent seen in 8 yrs, we are all grown assed women now and all so single, at least, i aint the only single girl in town! so we had lots of fun, talking bout the good ol' days, who did what in school, who smoked what, yadi, yadi, yadi.... twas a really wonderful weekend.
MF and friends came over too, cooked and had fun too. seeing MF on a sat and sunday consecutively is a plus, he is always so "busy" and "tired" and has to play football. it gets me wonder when exactly i will start obeying Greg ( u know Greg of he isnt just that into u). i really should leave MF until he is sure of what he wants cos i know what i want (yeah right)! nywayz, MF and friends came over and it was all so fun and lovey dovey and now we are back to status quo! dont let me bore ya.

went to lokoja for a matter yesterday, came back today and i am WONZED! i really really do hate going to that lokoja, apologies to indigenes but its just such an annoying town, they havent been blessed with governors who care about that town. my trip there always reminds me of my NYSC days when i had to be going thru Onitsha, those were horrible days! really, those high up there should find a way of improving their states! i mean, isnt it gonna be to their credit if they do?! nwayz, dont intend to be a politician or turn this into some political blog, am just sincerely concerned.

the case was ok, not like the matter went on, those bloody defendants reeally dont want to work on the case. u should see the lawyer on the other side, old man like dis. d man dey make me laff ehn! first and 2nd time wey i go for d mata, come see shakara! na so so pose pose d man go dey pose for court, dey pose for me! na old man o! e fit born me for d profession sef, to move ordinary motion, e go talk and talk. e no know say, na me be d most junior lawyer for our office, dem send d smallest sting, am just a tip off d iceberg and then he go dey pose for me! trust urs truly, i dey take am shine well, well. no be lokoja? see urs truly blow big grammar for court, i no send d judge or anybody, i be small lady lawyer from abuja and all their posing no reach my own!
nwayz, d case dey annoy me right now and trip to lokoja isnt exactly trip to gwarimpa, its annoying. i don adjourn am till 2nd Oct. i get work to do on it now but i simply do not have time for it!

good to be back home/office. i always miss my office folks safe for just 1 person, office beefs dey o........ someone keeps getting on my nerves and am praying for an opportunity in which i can give a piece of my very unrenewed and undignified mind. Jesus don save me but dis e get people wey go always make u ressurect dat part wey i don kill, make person no tink say i be walk over! details later

mum still around, we are both going to be dead tired tonite so she wont ask me aw far with bobo gist. make everybody just free me jo. everyone seems to like to say "...., Oko lo ku bayi o, iwe to ka ti to, lo mu oko wa le" (na husband remain o, u don read book reach now, go bring husband).
make dem too try submit man for verification, abi?!

onto better (or worse) things, i am very tired and i need a massage! MF doesnt give massages, he is always tired, he only gives massage on one particular part of the anatomy (na u know wetin u dey tink o), not like i mind if its once in a while but u know, sometimes i just want to be catered to. the other candidate for this job is far away, na wa o!
i dey carry my issues go jo!

Saturday, July 26, 2008

how annoying can it be, am at work again on a saturday!!!!!! Oga just called me now making sure i am putting finishing touches to his work, if only he knew. and then of cos, he asked "awon boyfriends wa nko?" (how are the boyfriends?). how da heck am i sposed to find any if am at work on a sat at this time?!

nywayz, wont complain too much, at least i dey use their interntet anyhow, do me i do u.

not like i have anything to say o, just that i am sooooooooo fine today, y'all shd see ur girl! i look like tooto (janded). my best friend is around from lag, hooked up with my friends from sec. school, i am going to have ice-cream right now and then suya at yahuza and probably chinese awuf (who cares really?! i dey jabo sef).

am out!

Friday, July 25, 2008

boyfriend issues

so, i dont have a boyfriend, its no big deal (abi? i guess).

not like i havent had before o, i have had one actual boyfriend, the rest are replicas of boyfriends or what boyfriends should be.

- the first replica was a neighbour. i absolutely refuse to call him my first boyfriend. it was a very silly thingi. in fact, i refuse to talk about it. i still see him and he hasnt grown up since then. pity!

- second was also a replica cos it lasted for like 2 months! i have an excuse sha, i just got to abuja, had no friends. was bored. so bored girl meets nice boy and so i got hooked. the nigger didnt show signs of being serious or intending to be. d boy just started being BUSY, then later, he forgot to call and then he was sick and ........... wetin i wan hear again? dat time, i dey law school, before i go waste my family's co-orp money, na im i commot jeje.

- third was an actual boyfriend. seemed like the perfect story.

met at a wedding i didnt wanna go. nice cute uniformed boy (as in Soldier o), well -mannered and to cap it all, my namesake! how sweet can it be. bobo talked marriage, to cut it short, bobo took me home sef! how was i sposed to know bobo was a bloody time-waster? to cut it short, bobo was more interested in keeping the peace of nigeria more than he needed a rel. with me. who was i to compete with such magnanimous task?!

nwayz, bobo has been the last real rel or man in my life. operating word being "real". there has been others to fill in my time but i cant call them boyfriend.

right now, i have a male figure (lets refer to him as MF) in my life. has anyone read Kemi's Journal? bidemi sanusi must have had me in mind when she wrote the book cos its a very similar thing going on with me.

MF is nice, very tall, brilliant, very annoying (takes pleasure in doing that) etc but not a xtian! dont wanna discuss it.

fortunately or unfortunately (not sure now), i have been reading "he's just not that into you" by Greg something and Liz somebody. i hate and love the Greg guy all at the same time!

following the book should make me leave MF like a bad habit. my pastor also must not know i deal with boys like MF, am sposed to be a worker fa!

nwayz, i havent sent him off cos rite now, i feel very weak and loney plus MF is sooooo tall and cute (as if dats all there is to life). i have a feeling that i may not be wise until a near disaster happens and boy, dat will be gangsta!

unfortunately i practically have no life other than my work at the mo. i am even here most saturdays! how da hell am i sposed to get a boyfriend?! my colleague, male, has been telling me to find a way of not coming to work on sats cos he doesnt see how i will get a bobo that way. yeah right, like say na im go pay my salary or employ me if dem chase me commot!

but i also know that i have to leave MF if i want a real man. instead, i keep doing kwanangida in MF's house (ok, i have stopped that now)!

relating to the kwanangida gist:

one day (think the last) wey i go do kwanangida, something near disaster happened, thats why i had to stop the whole kwanangida thingi.

as we left MF's house, na im we run into his 2 former Ogas who are my Ogas brothers in the profession (u know how it is with lawyers)! both of them know me. one of them is a lesser threat cos he already knew bout us (we are sposed to be an item) but the 2nd one, ah, i wasnt prepared for the shock o!

yeah, am an adult and i shouldnt care about what pipo say or think abi? not exactly o, i still care to an extent hence the slight embarrasment. at the gate we met yet another lawyer who is close to my Oga!

that was my warning cos 3 of my colleagues, including Oga Patapata's family live in the same estate with MF! eti mi melo (pulled my 2 ears) and suspended kwanangida SINE DINE!

back to MF and I: its a really complicated thingi jare. join me in praying that i become wise! amin o!

Thursday, July 24, 2008

Desperate Measures!

I work in a firm where my Oga (meaning Boss) and my folks know each other, so its almost a family thingi. but i digress, thats not the point of this blog, its blog for another day. i just had to give an intro so u can kapish.

i dont have a boyfriend (pls note, i have male figures in my life, just wont call them boyfriends, i digress tho) and everyone around me knows and they are begining to fret on my behalf, naturally. even i am begining to fret, cos suddenly am 26! and 26 is scaringly 4 yrs close to 30!

anyway, i just did not think the fret should include my Oga Patapata! see me o! the man likes match making a lot, in fact, i think he should start a matchmaking firm so he can retire fully into that. the first time he tried it, it was with his son's friend. fine boy, omo baba olowo (rich man's son) and has prospects (so we all think). i thot it was very funny until i knew later that he was serious bout it!! am i for sale or what!

anyway, he tried another lawyer boy (behind my back) and thank God it failed cos
1. i dont want to end up with a fellow lawyer, variety is the spice of life.
2. i do not like the boy's mouth (forgive me God) but truly, i will have to blindfold myself to kiss him!
3. uhhhhh........ i just dont want him!!!!!!!!!

ok. so recently. Oga 2 (who is oga patapata's wife and the MP of the firm) was advising me to marry too. those folks think i dont want to marry! i soooooooo wanna marry but i aint exactly gonna pick up a dude by the street now, abi?!
so she was talking bout her cousin (we are almost usually cousins in Nigeria, even if we just share the same LG) who is in Atlanta or somewia equally far away and that he is coming home and we should meet, blah duh, accross the oceans, emi ke?!

anyway, there comes this youngman who bursts into the office today, chewing gum and wearing a big belt (it was big, for me to have noticed it) and storms into Oga's office like na im papa office and Oga actually stood up to greet him and was nice to him! so i knew the nigga must be special. i have this sneaky little feeling it might be Mr. Fix Me Up (he has no name yet).
i guess it just might be him and i cant help laffing! my matter reach like that?!

this is my second post today, i think the blog thing is shacking me o! o n se mi gish gish (sorry, translation not available).

so u r wondering why i dont have a boyfriend abi? hmmm (deep sigh), na long tory.......
next btlog

Toilet Issues

For about 2 or 3 months now, we have had toilet issues in the office (hence the topic). the facility managers locked up all the toilets in the whole building (yes they did), a building that has about 50 offices! there reason: some people havent paid water bills (i dont believe them jare) and so we are all going to suffer till whenever!

anyway, i dont have to tell u the hardship this has caused. for one, this is abuja, central area, there is no bush to do ur private biz. the other offices around us i.e Human Virology and FCMB that CANNOT have toilet issues have since chased us from using their toilets. u have to see skilling in the art of toileting, anywhere we go, courts, banks etc, we have to pee, in fact, we are duty bound to pee (or do No. 2, as applicable) before going back to the office. the other chics in the block, very toosh chics with toosh cars, i wonder where they go, home? i wonder cos i know d ting go dey catch dem too!

today, the thing just caught me suddenly (No. 2 that is) and i had to go look for a toilet fast. Zenith bank just opened a branch next to us and we have accounts there (pls dont ask me how much i have there, its zero naira) so sometimes in go under the guise of transaction or something. today, our account officer wasnt there and so i had to act. u should see urs truly forming professional levels! i was blowing big grammar to ask stupid ATM questions and to inquire about children acct on behalf of my colleague (who send me msg, i wonder o!), of cos i quickly let the guy know that it wasnt my kids acct, i have no kid (he just might be single u know!)
funny thing is, all the acting and forming and inquiry was for just one purpose: to go and shit!!!!! (sorry for being so blunt). as i was forming, the thing was threatening to come down by force. i professionally excused myself and requested for the bathroom, i pray the man didnt know how much time i spent in there cos i took my time well well! very very toooooooooosh toilet, like the one in my house (ok, not exactly).

i dey imagine how dem go take pursue us from dat last place of solace, i.e, Zenith Bank! may that day never come b4 the idiots find an alternative to our toilet issues.


I have no idea what it is am doing on the net this early. am supposed to be doing some research or lawyer work of some sort. yeah right, you wish! sometimes i get the kicks out of being a lawyer and sometimes i wonder what i am doing there. Court could be so funny. the rituals of bowing for the court, observing "absolute" decorum, the whole wig and gown affair..... its amusing. i secretly imagine me yelling at the Judge one day, just to spice things up. but even i know, that in my deepest and madest state of mind, dem no born my father, it still remains at best, an imagination.

just got in from court, it was ok, not so boring but i wish we had taken much time, i am sooooooo bored and wonder what i will be doing for the whole of today. i have no intention of doing anything serious. i just want to go hom and sleep. i doubt if i am cut for work and i doubt if i am cut out for marrying Dangote or his likes and so i guess i have to be cut for work.

Wednesday, July 23, 2008

About Me!

Just when i thot i had the courage to put something sensible down, the stupid internet coughed and erased my stuff! am so pissed!

anyway, i still am in the process of getting to know myself. in the process, i think i got these figured out:

- I hate the dark, it fills me with a sense of terror. yet, i cant sleep with lights on. i'd rather go to sleep with the thots of ghosts than put on the light to sleep.
- I have no resistance for cakes, ice-creams, chocolates and yoghurts (little wonder am fat, did i tell u i was a size 12 - 14?!)
- I am a pessimist. Thanx to my mum, she's been preaching positive thinking, think am changing too.
- I hate the idea of working 8 - 6, i think its unfair but i'd rather that than sit at home, i'd probably go bonkers and drive the people around me crazy!
- I never get my job done when i have too much time to do it. give me a short date to do something almost impossible and i get it right
- i am a terrible romantic. think cinderella stories, they make me uhhhhhh, so mushy mushy!
- i love jewelries, yet, i hardly have them.
- i fantasize about being a sniper, i actually have since i was 8 yrs or so(i try to tell myself am not a murderer)
- i cry a lot, for the most stupidest things
- I am a DD (as in DOUBLE DANG boob cups), sometimes i hate it, sometimes it makes me feel like...waoh! aint these good?!
- i love my younger brother (only sibbling) but i have never been able to tell him, it just feels silly!
- i really, really, really hate dinners or anywhere i have to form ajebo and eat with fork and knife! i sincerely find it hard to use fork and knife for rice or stuff like that. my father don teach me tire
- i looooooove owambes (translation unavailable)! figures, am as yoruba as they come
- ok, gotta rest it here, who cares what i am or like sef?!

i am begining to bore even me and you too i guess, so i will just rest it here!