Merry Christmas!

Merry Christmas everyone! Hope you all had fun? May the joy and peace of Christmas be yours this season and always.

Lots of gists, loading.........

Favourite child

A friend has 4 kids and was gisting me about each of them and their attitudes. I asked her if she has a favourite child. She said she hopes not but sometimes she feels like a particular one makes her happy sort of.

My brother makes insinuations like my parents prefer me. We are just two, boy and girl.

I also know lots of men are partial towards their daughters, does this make her the favourite?

So, do you think it's true every parent has a favourite child?do you think it's ok to have a favourite child? 

What's right or wrong with it?

Next life, I will be a man

I belong to some Christian ladies group on Facebook. And we all know where there are plenty women......

So a lady posted something I would call a list of instruction for women to follow. In summary, it says to make our homes lovely, peAceful, welcoming etc for our man. And that we should listen to him, cook, take care of him, stroke his ego and all the plenty instructions women are bombarded with on marriage. 
See vexing for comments o! I thot it was only feminist me wey dey always vex for that kain mata, I get senior vexers o! 
The author spoilt the whole matter when she added that if u dont do all those, there are other women waiting to do all those things and more. 
BULLSHIT! 
That very phrase is one of the reasons marriages don't work. Because we feel the need to eat shit so we can remain mrs somebody. Iranu oshi.
You should have seen the way my eyes rolled to the back of my head.

I know this issue gets an over flogging every other day but it annoys me each passing moment. 
Most marriage seminars, counselling sessions and the likes seem to focus on how marriage can be convenient for men. It's always women, women and women all the frigging time! Every erring man and women who validate crap is quick to wave the a-wise-woman-builds-her-home magic wand, the defence seems to work every time anyway. 

How about reminding the man to do his part all the time? To remind men that it takes 2 willing people not one enslaved woman to make marriage work? 
Women are expected to always be understanding, manage funds, work and still be super moms and wives. You expect me to go to work, face 3 times the kind of crap that comes your way cos am just a woman and still expect me to always be ready to give you a warm hug and kiss, great meal, clean home and kids, fuck like a minx (pardon the French) and always be good in every aspect. So who takes care of me? 

If marriage were about men jumping to the next woman who can do better then no man will be married cos there will always be someone better than u in one aspect. 
And no, this is not my excuse from performing my wifely duties or becoming the Proverbs 31 woman. Even she wasn't super woman cos the bible implied she had maidservants. That's why she didn't die in the process of becoming that woman.
Dare I also imply that her husband was a fine man who didn't threaten her with a 2nd wife and didn't give her crap. It's only fair since she's perfect, she must have had a perfect man too, abi nah.

As for me, I'd love to be tis woman as long as hubby is ready to be that man who worths her. Yep I said it. No, I didn't backslide. I'm just a woman tired of reading these plenty instructions.

Signed on behalf of angry women. Endorse if you are tired of these bull crap. 

Of Jeeps and Jalopies

I read a story on one of those random bcs people send. It was about a mouse trap. A house owner got a mouse trap. The mouse got so worried and scared, ran to the cow and pig and chicken, saying there is a mouse trap and they should find a solution to it. All 3 big animals took their turn to laugh at him cos a mouse trap obviously isn't meant for cows, pigs and chickens, yeah? Right.

The mouse trap caught a snake instead by the tail. The snake bit the house owner's wife and she fell Ill. People came to greet the sick woman. The Ouse owner killed the chicken and pig to entertain their visitors.
Eventually she died and he had to kill the cow to entertain even more guests. And all those big animals thought they weren't concerned about the mouse trap.
Am sure you get the morale of the story.

It's the same way we usually choose to look at problems in this country. 
The road to my house is tres horrible. Last year hubby and some of our neighbours tried to get a number of other neighbours so they could find a temporary solution since govt wasn't gonna solve it anytime soon. But they all refused to have this meeting. They were too busy. They still had alternative routes they could manage and manoeuvre with their jeeps and good cars. So they decided to ignore these poor people and their jalopies. 
This year the road naturally got worse and caved in. It was so bad even jeeps couldn't move easily. The problem eventually became that of the rich and the poor and their respective jeeps and jalopies.

It's the same way the boko haram issue was handled. Sometimes you go to church expecting the matter to be raised so we can all pray. But no, it was a problem for the northerners until bombs started landing in Abuja. Then it became serious. There was no sure way of avoiding it. 

It baffled me when the subsidy issue was hot and some people's solution was to pray for God's favour so that even if fuel is sold at 1k per litre they would be able to afford it. 
I wondered if i didn't like that theory because I wasn't Christian enough or because it just didn't sound right. So what happens to those who aren't Christian enough to pray for jeeps and money to buy 1k fuel? Isn't this notion rather selfish? 
The story of Esther in the bible came to my mind. She was a queen. Comfortable. Enjoying. She could choose not to involve herself with those poor people ans their wahala. But she chose to risk her life for the sake of her people 
and that is what she is being remembered for till today. 
It was one of those sleepless nights that I came across this blog. Nadael. Brilliant post. 

Oh well, just thinking/ranting. But Then, how does my rant affect the price of fish in the market.

And we couldn't wait to grow up

After what seemed like an endless maternity leave, I've resumed work today. I'm actually glad to be back tho, like sincerely, I missed work. Now let me define that, I missed getting dressed for work, seeing people, looking like a lawyer going places, working when I actually want to etc. but I certainly did not miss having plenty work, closing late, deadlines, etc. in fact, after this my mat leave, I think the kind of work am cut out for is to go everyday, close when I want and get salary increase like monthly. Why isn't life like that sef? And we couldn't wait to grow up.

Life indeed Iain stages. At some point, I just wanted to be an undergrad, mean, the independence, I wanted to be an adult so bad!
And then I couldn't just wait to be a graduate and be rid of those mean lecturers, endlessly long queues for everything. You queue to fetch water, to pay school fees, at the bus stop, everything. Very annoying.

And then I just wanted to write the almighty bar finals and be free. Everything in life sorta took the backstage just for bar finals. 
Let's do and serve. Let's serve and just land a job. Then afterwards the biggest:

God, pls just let me get a husband! I don't know about y'all but I thot I'd be married by 26 or 27, I mean, just how hard can it be to land a dashing, hardworking and comfortable xtian guy from a nice family? It sure can't be that hard. But of course, my radar only came on for the wrongest dudes then. Lemme just get past this hurdle abeg. Ha.

Then I just can't wait to have a baby, ojo nlo nah Abi. Lemme just do and finish with this aspect of my life and ove onto other projects. Give my career and other stuff all the attention they need. 

And the list goes on and on and on. 

All these plenty talk is to remind myself something: life is in stages and eventually what seems like the hugest challenge or problem or milestone at the moment will eventually come to pass and be sorted, one way or the other at least. It may not look like the picture one imagined tho, I mean, I still don't have all those shoes yet, and that house and that car I saw in my dream, but hey. Even dreams change along the line, oh how I wanted a Honda baby boy so badly! But now? U can imagine the car I like now. 
Anyways, these things eventually come and automatically, the next challenge is on queue, ready to occupy your whole being.

What happened to those care free days when we didn't have to bother about nothing? 

Back with my miracle 2

We were looking at getting discharged after he has gained the required weight and has stabilised well.  It was the longest 2 and a half months of our lives. Shuttling from home to hospital 3 times daily. Some days more. Going through plenty set backs. You just get phone calls that will sink ur heart some days. And just when we thot AH! Light at the tunnel, we faced another major set back: surgery. My tiny little man was going to have surgery urgently.
I remember that day; I had never fet that scared, hopeless and helpless in my life. Trust doctors, just when u think u have serious issues the they'd jump at, they just take it ever so casually! Long story short, the surgery started at 3am. By which time I was week n didn't know what to expect.

To God's glory, it was successful! He survived it. Shortly after, we were discharged. Went back on admission for another slight issue. Finally after 10 days, we came home.

A lot happened that I just can't put down here. The trauma, excessive bills, confusion, guilt, fear etc When I compare the way he looked at birth to what he looks like now, wow! I just marvel. Only God can do this. It's been an eventful 4 months.
But when I look back, I think of these few things:

Some people would gladly switch places with me. Failed IVFs n loss of full term babies. Now I know a lot.
In spite of it all, my son is my best birthday gift ever, I mean, how many people get that lucky!
God always accompanies u on those difficult journeys, even though it doesn't seem so at the moment.
Theres always a reason to thank God.

For those of u who found a way to keep in touch, I say thank u, so grateful.
LG, Luscious Ron, Chacha, thx so much.

Missed blogging, I hope am back.

Oh and my boy's name? Let's call him AJ.

Back again...... With my miracle. 1

As usual, I couldn't find the appropriate title for this post. So much has happened and there just doesn't seem to be a phrase to capture it all. So a few updates: After what seemed like 3 long months for me, I got pregnant. Very exciting as I was waiting to see which of the gruesome and wonderful tales of pregnant women I'd tell. First trimester I started spotting and was placed on bed rest for over a month. Read so much about it and what might happen. After the bed rest all seemed fine until I started bleeding in my 2nd trim. Placed on bed rest again and after about a month I was back on my feet again. Asides those issues, I was one of those lucky women, I had just 4 or so episodes of nausea, I didn't have crazy cravings for strange stuff. Hubby was lucky. No waking him up in the night to go look for water melon or roasted corn like I hear some people do. Sometimes I hate food but won't throw up. I was sleeping like an idiot tho! I sleep for about 45 mins or so at work. I mean, in the face of deadlines et al, I simply close the books and sleep and even snore! It was embarrassing, lol. Then I didn't really blow up like I thought I would. People didn't notice my bump until I was 6 months gone except of course for people close to me. Pregnancy made me look really good. Great skin and hair. I enjoyed it. At least that period.....

 Trouble started in my 7th month. I had the usual oedema that comes with pregnancy. My feet were really swollen and painful. So on good friday, I went to the hospital just to see that all was well. After my BP reading and urine test, I found I had pre eclampsia. I had read almost everything about pregnancy including the PIH (pregnancy induced hypertension) I had. So when the doctor diagnosed it, I knew exactly what it meant. I was admitted immediately. All I could think of was buying time for my baby. For a while, all seemed well, or so I thought. I felt I was going to buy plenty time for my baby. On my birthday during my breakfast, doctors said the baby had to be delivered that day as my BP shot so high and going further would be risking both lives. My baby was really small due to the illness. Wasn't up to 1 kg yet. Everyone cried except Bubbly. Somehow, the guy was just so strong.
Now I know what "going through the valley of the shadow of death" means. I was scared shitless! I couldn't pray or cry anymore. I didn't know what to expect. Later I found the courage to hum one of my fave hymns:. "I will not forget thee or leave thee". It helped. The operation didn't take so long. I was even gisting with the doctors as it was epidural. Shortly, my baby boy was delivered and he cried! My little man cried! First time I saw him, that was a day after the operation, my heart leapt and sank almost immediately. He was so very tiny! With tubes and wires sticking all over him. He also had a bandage over his face. He had jaundice and malaria. He weighed 800 grams. Very discouraging. As with all new borns he lost weight again and dropped to 600 grams. So when I say tiny, he really was tiny. My faith was challenged. Some moments I'd feel encouraged by the plenty stories people told me about prem babies. Next moment I'd just start crying cos I know the stakes: there were no guaranties.

Back again