I cant explain what happened to me since the last time I blogged. Life just kinda went past so fast that its hard to catch up. Life just happened to me and I just didnt seem to find the words to put down.
But tonight I kinda found my voice (or fingers if you prefer).
Sadness and joy seems to have a way of making you come to yourself; you just slow down and see yourself again.
You know when you hurt so bad that you actually feel your heart ache? When the very essence of you seems to be drawing away? Yeah am there.
I'm not a perfectionist but I do try a great deal to figure how things work out for me. I try to have a plan and focus for my life. I also appreciate the fact that life does have a way of happening and messes up your plan.
I try to avoid anything that tampers with my peace, as much as I can. So when against all my plan my peace and joy is threatened, I hurt badly.
Its worse when its that someone you so hope and believe wont hurt you that bad just stabs your heart, twists the blade and isnt bothered a bit.
Sometimes you just need a heart of steel.
So I'm here tonight, crawling back to my safety nest where I can express my hurt, without fear or care. It wont solve my problems but hey, I feel good about letting it out.
Tears feel so comforting right now. I dont even wanna stop them. Feels good right now.
Rambled mindlessly enough for one night......
Soon I'll be on my way to Uhuru.... Will get there.