I havent got much to say, just this tiny, almost insignificant and silly issue that i have been thinking about. thats why the title is silly too.
Come April 14th, I will be a year older, specifically, i will be 27 (there, i said it). so whats the ish abi? well........ lets just put it simply, 27 sounds (and feels) quite old! i mean, i feel old! 27 is scaringly close to 30! the BIG 30!!!! in the next 3 years i will be 30!
What happened? suddenly am 27. a few years back, i used to think 27 was so far away and that by then i would have been a lot of things, on top of my list is that i would be Mrs. Omotee Somebody, i would be a big time young lawyer making plenty waves and of cos, plenty cash. i thot by now i would have figured a lot of things out, but alas, that age has come and Nos 1, 2 and 3 on my list are still at best, dreams!
No. 1 is especially difficult, moreso now that it seems all the men i meet these days are either married, stupid, extremely short, already hooked (and want u as a side plate), confused and just generally not it. the marriageable ones just dont seem to exist anymore! does anyone feel me?!
Dont get me wrong, i am grateful to God, u cant even complain about this things if u were very ill or better still, dead. i am thankful for life and i aint doing so badly, really.
But suddenly theres so many things i cant do anymore, i just feel so old. for the first time in my plenty years am not so so excited about my birthday, i am usually EXTREMELY excited about my birthdays, my phone rings every second, am all smiley through out the day (my chic hurts like mad), i get to eat lots of cake without guilt (hey, its my birthday now), i am entitled to N1500 credit from my Pop (funny man), i always look very very beautiful (or so i like to believe) and i am just generally on top of the world!
But right at this moment, the plans i have for my birthday are not it.
for one, i hope to miraculously get a break that day, which i already know wont happen except i fall very ill, ordinary illness doesnt get u a day off in my office, it must be obvious that u r about to die! i hope to lie down all day in bed, switch off my phones, eat a big chocolate cake with tea or something and watch movies or listen to good music and avoid all the drama and frenzy.
I also know that its all a dream, cos i will go to work, i dare not switch off my phone, i will even go to church, i will have a permanent smile plastered on my face and act nice and excited. i will do things that are absolutely different from my dream 27th birthday.
I do hope before then i would have shaken these feelings off, i usually feel this way (worried, cranky, mushy-mushy etc) when am ovulating and i think unlike normal girls, i ovulate 15 days or so. i dont even know how to calculate the dang thing, my doctor is so fed up. i just never know.
this is my latest ish, just wanted to share it with u.
i will create a list of things i want for my birthday, at least that will cheer me up. pls start preparing ur mind and saving of cos. thank ya!
saw MF yesterday, wanted to slice his 4 tyres or smash his windscreen, u know, just for the fun of it. but then, not even MF is worth so much energy. i finally realised then how fast it is to get over pple when u set ur mind to do it.