A few questions have been in my mind for long and each time i try to discuss it with my friends, i just get funny answers. I just want to know if i'm being naive or silly or unrealistic:
Does or Should marriage for a woman mean an entirely different and new life?
Ok, thats kinda vague, will explain, hope not to lose you.
Usually, the trend these days for us ladies is that we get married, ditch all our old friends.
I dont think it should be so.
I'm of the opinion that your husband can never be ur all in all. somehow ur husband cannot be able to fill in as ur husband, girlfriend, sister and all those things our girlfriends mean to us.
Dont get me wrong, I am all for marriage, in fact, i wanna get married like yesterday. i love men (yes i do!), i am a bloody romantic and all that. dont think this is one of those activism thingis.
I am also aware that when u get married, you explore another realm of your life, its so different, time and energy tasking and all that. Things cannot definitely be like when you were single and
But then, is becoming Mrs. So so the ultimate goal? Isnt there something more you want to achieve? isnt life going to continue? Is marriage all that there is to life? Does marriage magically turns ur life over and bam! u r a new creation?
For instance, when u ditch all ur friends cos u r now married, what happens to days when there's something u want to discuss with a woman? days when baby does this funny thing and u just want to talk to a woman about it? days when u just want to have good times with your girl friends? days when you want to get a certain recipe? shopping? ideas? etc???
times when u and hubby arent having it so sweet and u just want to talk to a woman about it? and yes, i know about all the do-not-involve-the-third-party-in-your-marriage-rule but God has created us in such a way that we cant solve things all on our own, u only apply wisdom on your choice of person to talk to about things.
So when these kind of days come, what happens? there's suddenly no one to call on because we left them out when status changed.
And then there's this funny issue. Your husband suddenly dont like your friends whom they knew u with in the toasting days. they dont want u to go anywhere asides work. its going to be war before u are allowed to hang out with ur girlfriends, am not talking late night parties o, am talking normal shopping, birthdays etc. Trust me, in this 24th century, i still see men like that!
these men suddenly think ur friends especially the single ones will corrupt u. these ur friends will suddenly be able to "spoil ur head", something they couldnt do when u were 18 - 23, this feat will be achieved now that you are 28!!!!!!!
i have a friend whose husband doesnt want her to keep in touch with me anymore cos i might corrupt her. poor me is in abuja and chic is in london o!
i also have a friend who isnt married but Oga dictates who she talks to or hangs out with via phone, in fact, he prefers that she is always alone, all the time. she doesnt seem to complain so whats my own, it only makes me wonder....
But really, i wanna know, is that how its meant to be with marriage?
On me and my cockroaches, since the day i did that post, i havent seen them o! Praise da Lord!!!!!!!