Thursday, April 8, 2010

Describing the process of SEX

Never mind the title, its just some crazy stuff i heard in Dr. House Season I by that girl....cant remember her name now (yeah i just caught the house bug all these while). There's this part where she was explaining what the body goes thru during sex:

"Pupils dilate, arteries constrict.
Core temperature rises, heart races, blood pressure skyrockets, respiration becomes rapid and shallow.
The brain fires bursts of electrical impulses from nowhere to nowhere.
Secretions spit out of every gland and the muscles tense and spasm like you're lifting 3 times your body weight.
Its violent, its ugly and its messy"

WTH?!! thats some crazy description!!!!

Hope u had a great easter?

Mine was.....
Prof (thats my father) summoned us to come home for thanksgiving on Sunday. i really didnt want to go but i had no choice. it was extremely hot and i was sweating like a xmas goat! Sunday was kinda fun sha. We all (Prof, mum, my lil brother and me) had to sit in the front row and wearing "anko" (same kind of materia) which is something we NEVER do. my brother and i DO NOT as a rule sit in front of the church, or sit together or wear the same cloth for any reason. i think the last time we did the anko thing was during gran's burial. i sit in the last row with my friends and do everything but listen to the sermon, ushers always have issues with us. that was a long time tho and we've changed. so u can imagine how uncomfortable it was sitting in front and greeting EVERYBODY in church, my cheeks were sore. and afterwards i had to start answering the most popular question "When are we coming to eat rice" or "When are u bringing him" or "Do quick o, time is going o" which just annoys me. I answer them "Lets go buy a husband when u discover a mall that sells good ones". ok, not exactly, i only answer them in my mind amidst very fake smiles. its tres annoying!

we had a reception in the house after church and there were lots of folks from church. Prof invited everybody against the 150 or so people he told my mum. it made me realise one thing: i really love parties when we are not the ones hosting the guests, its more fun that way dont u think?

anyway, it was ok, i invited all my friends (trust me) and there was lots of gisting, laughing and drinks and cake (they came late so no food for them, lol). i realised in spite of the stress that it really is fun to be home again. it always is.
it would be better if telepathy can really work tho, the only aspect of traveling that i like is closing my eyes and getting to my destination without going on the road or in the air, its stressful on the road and its scary in the air. all in all it wasnt bad. i returned on monday to come see my beloved Bubbly. looking fwd to the next holiday.

my birthday is next wednesday, 14th april. i shall be 28. i don old o! i have license to eat the most sinful choc cake on that day with a large cup of ice cream, its my birthday now! like sugarking, i shall be doing something daring, i'd love to get a text msg or phone call from my blog family. i'll drop the number on wednesday.

i spoke to sugarking!!! he's absolutely cooooooooolllllllll and funny! thats the first blogger i will speak to except for those that i've known before. it was nice.
have a nice day y'all!

29 comments:

Nutty J. said...

Happy Birthday In Advance...

Hope you throw a party

sosexy said...

Crazy description of sex. although, I must it's true,lol..
Happy birthday in advance..
I'd be sure to call you..

doll said...

sure..its more fun that way! i mean when you are not the host..what was the occasion...??? cuz you dint say

Happy birthday in advance

Omotee! said...

nutty J: thanx o. i'll throw a party if u will come, lol

sosexy: figure this wont warn people off sex, lol. thanks.

doll: the occassion na longest thing.
prof was one of those 44 lecturers sacked from unilorin, the supreme court ordered that they be re-instated. prof is thanking God for His mercies all thru the 9 yrs and safety in the Niger Delta. u see, na long tin! lol

rayo said...

lol @ wearin anko, i hvnt done dat in a long yl. dnt 4get 2 drop d number o.

Mamuje said...

Col, happy Birthday in Advance.... and yes you are allowed to devour that sinful 10inch chocolate cake. :)

Fragilelooks said...

hapi b.day in advance. REALLY DATS sum shit description of sex.

UBIUDUE (Nigeria's marketplace) said...

happy birthday in advance deary. please send my cake and as for the SEX description, love it n im so stealing it. :)

phallatio said...

"Violent, ugly and messy!" Mmmm ... sounds good!

Fabulo-la said...

Ohh u just made me homesick.
Will be looking out for that ;)

Tisha said...

okay
you have been certified crazy

nice blog though

Myne Whitman said...

I'll be looking forward to the number, would be lovely to speak with you. And you share the birthday with my sister.

And I agree, parties are more fun when you're not hosting.

have a nice weekend.

Repressed One said...

Aww fellow Arian...Happy Bday in advance!! I'll definitely send you a msg...

Juanita said...

Birthday wishes in advance, as well. Cleaning up after hosting...sheer torture!

TayneMent said...

I feel like I am missing a sugarking tour oh. Happy birthday in advance, you april people too many jare.

Nice Anon said...

Have a great birthday!

Andrea said...

Yep, love April Its my bday month as well. I look forward to all the gift I am going to get.

Omotee! said...

rayo: pls note, u shall be wearing anko on my wedding day and i at yours, lol. and i sure will. how u dey now?

fragile: thanx ma'am! after that explanation, u sure still wanna have sex?! lol

mamuje: yes o, learned col! i shall DEVOUR the cake!

ubiudue: thanx o, and yes u shall have ur own piece if i know where u r, lol. thanx for stopping by!

hmm phallatio, u r a bad pesin! lol

fabulola uh uh, pele dear

tisha pretty face, thanx not for being crazy o!

miss whitman ur sis must be lovable abi? *wink wink* we april folks are! wey my book o?!

repressed no wonder i like u so much, cos u r an arian too! when's yours?

juanita thanx!

taynment: yeah n we are special too! thanx babe

nice anon: thanx dear, long time o!

andrea: yeah that is so cool! whats the date? u just can never tell with the gift o!

2cute4u said...

Lol..Ok..point taken..
Happy Birthday dear..I'd def.Give you a call.
You interested in having the WE ARE JOS banner on your blog?if yes, please visit http://helpnigeria.blogspot.com
Thanks a mil..

SHE said...

What a description! Makes it sound like something NOT to look forward to.

Don't mind the husband mongers jare. They can be really tiresome!

Omotee! said...

chacha: thanx o, i will expect ur call.

she: i refuse to be frightened off! na one tin go sha kill pesin one day na abi? lol

Nutty J. said...

Omotee: If that 10 inch cake is gonna be there, and a male stripper will serve it to me...then i'm gonna be there

Quick Question: Re u uhrobo?

My world said...

I see you had fun this easter :-))
happy Bday in advance,dear....waiting on da number..
I wanna speak to sugarking too o,I kinda think he's cool and you just confirmed it.
I'v spoken to a few bloggers,and they really are awesome :-))

Anonymous said...

funny,,,,happy birthday in advance,,,pls tell bubbly we want to come and eat rice sooooon...LOL

Omotee! said...

nutty J: male stripper?!?!?! i've never seen one o, no corrupt me, LDKMD. not urhobo, am as yoruba as they come, anything urhoboish about me?

my world: yeah, will do a post and add the number, my birthday is sounding like fun already!

blogoratti said...

Here's sending warm birthday wishes your way. Have fun!

Omotee! said...

blogorati: awwwwww, thanx so so much!

Omotee! said...

the number is:

08035837027

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