Longest Time

Halloz!
Its been ages, havent been blogging (obviously) or reading any blogs, its been crazy! work is practically drowning me! will do a real post soon, not like anything special has happened asides work. will be right back sha.

miss y'all!

Response to Rape:

Like i said, the issue of Rape and Indecent Dressing has been highly overflogged already (woreva dat means) but for what its worth, our views are important, at least, some big lawyers still think its important abi? Lets reform Nigeria!

1. Should indecent dressing be a defence for the offence of rape?

The very obvious answer to this is NO!

so my very rich and careless neighbour leaves his house wide open and so i enter into it, steal his things and then i got caught and thrown into jail, my defence: he didnt lock his house.

I can assure u that somewhere at the back of my mind, i had always wanted to steal from my rich neighbour, the fact that he didnt lock his house was just some added bonus to make my stealing job easier. but then, i still get to go to jail, why?! bcos i STOLE!!! my neighbours refusal to lock his house, without conceding to carelessness is not a ground or an invitation for me to steal. i had the pre-requisite actus, i.e intention to steal from my neighbour.

i must add at this point that i am not an advocate for indecent dressing, i believe strongly in decency. to save repitition, more of this on 2.

2. In line with 1 above, again, should the Bill of the Senate on Indecent Dressing be looked into again and passed into law?

Again, a very strong and passionate NO!

Even after all the very serious issues that Nigeria has to look into and solve, the Bill on Indecent Dressing will still not be looked into.

What is indecent dressing anyway?

According to whose view and perception and beliefs are we going to base our definition of indecent dressing?

Can such person's view/perception/beliefs be universally accepted? i.e will it not offend some other person's view and opinion?

without going into unnecessary religious arguments, what is decent according to a muslim is very different from a xtian's definition of decency. and then, within the xtian circle, we start talking about what is accepted in some denominations, in my church for example, except u r a worker, u could wear almost 'anything' to church and if glares dont generally make u uncomfortable, then, u have no problems. meanwhile, if my father enters my own church, he probably will think satan himself dwells amongst us.

then we start talking about modes of dressing for some specific places. is anyone supposed to dress in iro and buba or suit to a club? or when a benin girl is getting married, will she be disallowed from wearing her traditional garb which could be likened to our modern day "tube dress"? do we seriously have time for this kind of triviality?

another main issue why it wont work, just like lusciousron said, the police will abuse it. i in my decent knickers (if its allowed) while jogging may be arrested (and molested) and then eventually beg and bribe my way to get out of a stupid cell. while on the other hand, a girl like me in bum shorts will be arrested but released so fast bcos she is Senator/Gov/Rich Man ............... daughter/girlfriend/niece! where is justice? in some cases, there can never be justice.

Anyway, no need to long things, we simply do not have the time, resources etc to start paying some already over fed men to start discussing this issue, we have a lot on our plates already!

3. Can a man be raped?

hmm, now, this is tricky!

the definition of rape provides only for a woman or a girl (dont want to start quoting the whole legal thingy). so technically, a man cannot be raped!

somehow, i dont just believe a man can be raped sha, i mean, he has the "controlling instrument" that cannot really be manipulated. its designed and created in such a way that makes it to be in control of affairs (even i am laughing).

the female organ on the other side, is built and designed to be at the recieving end.

on the other hand, if the provision is re-written in such a way that it includes "boy or man without his consent", then, maybe a man can be raped (still sounds funny tho, men always seem to consent to this).

4. Should there be an offence of rape between married people? i.e Can a man rape his legally married wife?

now, this is one other very tricky part!

hmm............ lets see.

i will give a full YES if and only if the couple in question are separated. if there is a legal separation, either a decree nisi or absolute, and then the man goes to where his wife (or about to be ex) resides and forcefully has sex with her, then, that is rape (or what they think should be spousal rape or marital sexual assault or somfin funny like that).

i will also say yes, if the husband has contracted some STD and has refused to be treated and still forces his wife to have sex, then, we could call it rape.

but when the couple are still together, not on the verge of some divorce or separation, they are in a state of what we call "bliss", how can we call madam's no and oga's cajoling and etc rape? somehow, the fact that there is not only a marriage, but a subsisting one in a state of "bliss" somehow does knock off the full effect of rape, i mean, rape?!!

we also must not fail to look into something important, if the husband has "raped" his wife, so to speak, will she still go ahead to sue him and expect the marriage to continue? in other words, is some "forced sex" ground enough to file for divorce?

what about the kids?

isnt the marriage some sort of proof for consent?

i will defer in my opinion if and only if, the husband is a total freak, who doesnt believe sex is good sex until he beats her, chains her, perform anal sex, introduce funny objects into her vagina or invite a third party (or 4th, 5th, 6th parties) into the show (without her consent tho, who knows, both of them might be total freaks) or generally, have "unnatural sex" with her.

ok, so, this might be rape of some sort.

(i know lots of u will disagree, let me know about it)

another issue is consent and its funny. abeg, is it possible to withdraw consent? at what stage?

i mean, guy is all up and ready and u know it, u wanted it sef, and suddenly, "stop, i cant"!

will it be rape if he continues?! not fair on the man o!

PS

u may have to read the first post to have full import of this post.

would love to hear (or read) ur comments.

Thanx!

Rape

Yesterday i was at this Law Reform Workshop, one of those law thingys that my boss forces everyone to attend. I usually find them boring, i go there thinking "how does this change Nigeria or even the legal system? What do these overfed legal luminaries know etc,".
But yesterday was different, i really enjoyed it cos they discussed a hot topic: Rape/Sexual Assault.

Basically, the workshop was to review and amend, if necessary, the statutory provisions concerning sexual offences, rape being the main offence. They have to know if the definition of rape, consent etc according to the laid down laws were adequate enough to accomodate all sorts of sexual offences.
Will not bother u with the definitions and all.

However, some very interesting, and rather hot issues were raised. they are often common issues but i will like to know ur take on these issues.

1. Should indecent dressing be a defence for the offence of rape? this discussion came up there and of course, everyone was against indecent dressing, but should it really be a defence by a man who has raped a woman?

2. In line with 1 above, again, should the Bill of the Senate on Indecent Dressing be looked into again and passed into law?


3. Can a man be raped?


4. Should there be an offence of rape between married people? i.e Can a man rape his legally married wife? (this is the most important).

So, before i post the rest on this topic, i want to know what Blogsville think.

PS:
i sat with a very cute guy, it made it more fun! details later.

And how can i not say how happy i am for Obama?!! Congrats everyone, i mean, this is good news for everyone. I see it this way: Its a message of hope, there is nothing impossible or unreachable, there is no dream too big to imagine.
May this ending year bring us much hope, and may the good unexpected happen to us all!