Monday, November 9, 2009

Wise or Not?

So i have this question for y'all.

Would you as a lady date/marry a younger man? If yes, how "low" would you go?

Same applies to men, would you date/marry an older lady? If yes, how "high" would you go?


Is it safe?
Is it wise?
Is it permissible?
Does it depend on the couple alone?
How can it be managed?
What age difference is wise?

I know this is kinda frowned at in our African society but whats your take on it? I really do need your opinion on this.
Very Long comments are welcome.

Why do i ask? Details later


Have a nice week everyone.

12 comments:

TRYBES said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
leggy said...

i could never date someone older...i need to be able to connect with the person on a mental and matured level.i couldnt date someone younger..they tend to be immature.

Repressed One said...

lol@ wise/safe/permissible--I don't think any of those questions can be answered by anyone but you!

Would i date a younger man? Yes, but ONLY by a year...at MOST two. I have younger male friends that i forget they are younger cos of the way they conduct themselves BUT i have somehow conditioned myself that i can't go lower than a certain age so i don't.

I don't know that its frowned on in African societies but i do think it's not something that is talked about...I know of and have heard of wives that are a few years older than their hubbies.

That said...it's all about personal preference and what each person is comfortable with. Age =/= maturity. As long as you can respect a man and he is what you want...i don't see the problem.

Myne Whitman said...

The lowest I went was 4yrs, but to be honest I didn't take him too serious. He was a very good friend/date but it never matured. But like repressed said it depends on the people involved.

Why are you not asking men how low they would go too? LOL Or womwn how high?

Miss FlyHigh - LondonsNaijaQueen said...

@Myne Whitman I think It's quite obvious don't you lol :-)

I have liked guys that are younger than but when I think of dating them I just think awwww they are soo cute I just want to give him a kiss .... I know that sounds silly but that's the truth. I don't think i could marry a guy younger than me I would feel like his mother lol ...I can only marry a guy about 4years older than me because of maturity matters.

leggy said...

im sorry...correction**=i could never date someone younger**

Enkay said...

I dated a guy who was one year younger than i was and we were actually going to get married! We broke up but the age definitely was no issue.

My cousin married a lady that was 6years older than he was. The family frowned because the age difference was really visible and they thought he was settling. They didn't stop them though and they're married with 2 kids now.

She obviously has more money than him and I've heard him complain about his marriage more than once. I wouldn't say that the issues they have stem directly from their age difference but from their individual differences. They're still married now almost 10years and I guess they're OK.

My husband is 5 years older than I am and it's working perfectly! You wouldn't even know unless I told you.

I guess it depends a great deal on the individuals involved.

tunrayo said...

like RepressedOne said, only you can answer that question. but i think it should be a personal decision not one based on what peple think, say or feel.

My brother is married to a lady 2years older than him. It works perfectly for them. My parents dont approve but i keep telling them as long as my bro is happy, its really none of their business. You'll never tell that she's older (except she looks slightly older but thats cos my bro has a baby face)and she never plays the 'i'm older card' as a matter of fact, he acts older. I gues it helps that he has more money than her but still...It works for them.

I dont think i can do it though. The guys i've met who are younger than me aren't mature enough to handle me cos i think when it comes to relationships i can act really spoilt. Who wants two spoilt kids in a relationship, twudnt work. I stand corrected

Nice Anon said...

After your upcoming post then I can chime in.

Omotee! said...

@leggy:
hmmm, i see. makes a lot of sense, even older men can be so immature

@repressed one:
u r assuming this is about me? ok, maybe sha.... wont tell now.
ok, so its not totally a no no for u, u just have limits, makes a lot of sense.

@myne:
lol @ how low would men go or how high would women go. thats usually not a problem now.
i agree with u, its basically btw the people. altho we cant exclude the grievance of people like parents etc

@missflyhigh:
look who's here! thanx for stopping by.
just 4 yrs? i guess i could go as high as 10 as long as he doesnt have too many issues sha.

@enkay:
enkay mi owon! good to have u here o.
hmmm, quite an expose. i think u r in line with most people that its basically a thing btw the couple and once they are settled into the idea, then folks will just learn to live with it.

i really value ur contribution enkay, thanx!

@tunrayo:
glad u stopped by too, thanx!
i agree with u a lot. glad there are examples that shows it actually does work.

@nice anon:
Nne, why can u not chime in now?! ok sha! maybe the post will come.

@everyone:
thanx for putting in ur bit. there may be a post on it. yeah, i said details later not details next post, u know say u no fit catch lawyer!
cheers y'all!

rayo said...

i cld prolly do a guy 2 years younga but he hs to be very matured

Rita said...

we are still waiting for the details...why are you asking? if you want we can talk off line cos I have a very very long comment :-)