Wednesday, August 29, 2012

Back with my miracle 2

We were looking at getting discharged after he has gained the required weight and has stabilised well.  It was the longest 2 and a half months of our lives. Shuttling from home to hospital 3 times daily. Some days more. Going through plenty set backs. You just get phone calls that will sink ur heart some days. And just when we thot AH! Light at the tunnel, we faced another major set back: surgery. My tiny little man was going to have surgery urgently.
I remember that day; I had never fet that scared, hopeless and helpless in my life. Trust doctors, just when u think u have serious issues the they'd jump at, they just take it ever so casually! Long story short, the surgery started at 3am. By which time I was week n didn't know what to expect.

To God's glory, it was successful! He survived it. Shortly after, we were discharged. Went back on admission for another slight issue. Finally after 10 days, we came home.

A lot happened that I just can't put down here. The trauma, excessive bills, confusion, guilt, fear etc When I compare the way he looked at birth to what he looks like now, wow! I just marvel. Only God can do this. It's been an eventful 4 months.
But when I look back, I think of these few things:

Some people would gladly switch places with me. Failed IVFs n loss of full term babies. Now I know a lot.
In spite of it all, my son is my best birthday gift ever, I mean, how many people get that lucky!
God always accompanies u on those difficult journeys, even though it doesn't seem so at the moment.
Theres always a reason to thank God.

For those of u who found a way to keep in touch, I say thank u, so grateful.
LG, Luscious Ron, Chacha, thx so much.

Missed blogging, I hope am back.

Oh and my boy's name? Let's call him AJ.

Back again...... With my miracle. 1

As usual, I couldn't find the appropriate title for this post. So much has happened and there just doesn't seem to be a phrase to capture it all. So a few updates: After what seemed like 3 long months for me, I got pregnant. Very exciting as I was waiting to see which of the gruesome and wonderful tales of pregnant women I'd tell. First trimester I started spotting and was placed on bed rest for over a month. Read so much about it and what might happen. After the bed rest all seemed fine until I started bleeding in my 2nd trim. Placed on bed rest again and after about a month I was back on my feet again. Asides those issues, I was one of those lucky women, I had just 4 or so episodes of nausea, I didn't have crazy cravings for strange stuff. Hubby was lucky. No waking him up in the night to go look for water melon or roasted corn like I hear some people do. Sometimes I hate food but won't throw up. I was sleeping like an idiot tho! I sleep for about 45 mins or so at work. I mean, in the face of deadlines et al, I simply close the books and sleep and even snore! It was embarrassing, lol. Then I didn't really blow up like I thought I would. People didn't notice my bump until I was 6 months gone except of course for people close to me. Pregnancy made me look really good. Great skin and hair. I enjoyed it. At least that period.....

 Trouble started in my 7th month. I had the usual oedema that comes with pregnancy. My feet were really swollen and painful. So on good friday, I went to the hospital just to see that all was well. After my BP reading and urine test, I found I had pre eclampsia. I had read almost everything about pregnancy including the PIH (pregnancy induced hypertension) I had. So when the doctor diagnosed it, I knew exactly what it meant. I was admitted immediately. All I could think of was buying time for my baby. For a while, all seemed well, or so I thought. I felt I was going to buy plenty time for my baby. On my birthday during my breakfast, doctors said the baby had to be delivered that day as my BP shot so high and going further would be risking both lives. My baby was really small due to the illness. Wasn't up to 1 kg yet. Everyone cried except Bubbly. Somehow, the guy was just so strong.
Now I know what "going through the valley of the shadow of death" means. I was scared shitless! I couldn't pray or cry anymore. I didn't know what to expect. Later I found the courage to hum one of my fave hymns:. "I will not forget thee or leave thee". It helped. The operation didn't take so long. I was even gisting with the doctors as it was epidural. Shortly, my baby boy was delivered and he cried! My little man cried! First time I saw him, that was a day after the operation, my heart leapt and sank almost immediately. He was so very tiny! With tubes and wires sticking all over him. He also had a bandage over his face. He had jaundice and malaria. He weighed 800 grams. Very discouraging. As with all new borns he lost weight again and dropped to 600 grams. So when I say tiny, he really was tiny. My faith was challenged. Some moments I'd feel encouraged by the plenty stories people told me about prem babies. Next moment I'd just start crying cos I know the stakes: there were no guaranties.