My lover is healthy and tan,

the best of ten thousand men.

His head is like the finest gold;

his hair is wavy and black like a raven.

His eyes are like doves

by springs of water.

They seem to be bathed in cream and are set like jewels.

His cheeks are like beds of spices;

they smell like mounds of perfume.

His lips are like lilies

flowing with myrrh.

His hands are like gold hinges,

filled with jewels.

His body is like shiny ivory

covered with sapphires.

His legs are like large marble posts,

standing on bases of fine gold.

He is like a cedar of Lebanon,

like the finest of the trees.

His mouth is sweet to kiss,

and i desire him very much.

Yes, daughters of Jerusalem,

this is my lover,

and my friend.

- Songs of Songs 5 v 10 - 16, New Century Version.

PS

and about the picture, i just love blair underwood, he matches the description in the poem doesnt he (i dont know about the legs tho). so sue me for wishing!

I have discovered one of the benefits of studying the bible, this beautiful poem is evidence. And if u dey abuse me say na songs of songs i dey read, na u know o, i must study the whole bible!!! finish!

Guess i stumbled on it one day when i was studying seriously and my mind just wondered to song of songs, i remember some boys in secondary school use it to 'toast babes'. and i thot they were silly!

So, i wrote it out in my journal, titled it Dream man. one day am hoping i'll read that out to my man, hmm, the thots are warming me up already! pls help me and beg him to hurry and show up before i give up on him and all these beautiful poems o. i am full of idea, will he come when all the ideas run away finish?!

you have to understand the mushy mushy mood, i am ovulating. i get mushy when ovulating. and i think unlike the normal women, i ovulate 90% of the time, gotta see a Gynea for that. heck i dont even know when i ovulate. sad, sad, sad.

PS

I have 2 judgments before me. i have to read all the documents/processes filed in the case by both lawyers (a bunch of boring crap usually), what My Lord wrote which is like a doctors handwriting, check out all cases cited and generally translate everything from its greek/spanish state into english/yoruba language so i can understand and then finally give my opinion on the judgment. and somehow in all these, i found time to chat and read to u songs of solomon. am i officially nuts or what?!?!

i do have an excuse tho. U know am now a civil servant, they dont pay civil servants for the first 3 months (whoever dreamt up that bad idea), mine has decided to extend to first 4 months. no pay no work!

ok, just kidding. no pay, plenty work. My boss will kill me if i dont meet the deadline. i'll get my lawyer mojo back on in a matter of minutes. just had to digress and be mushy omotee for a while.

have a great week folks.

EVERYTHING I LIKE IS POISONOUS!!!

I've known my new boss for a long time now, although she's never been very fat, she's quite on the big side - which is permissible, she's a mother of 2 in her 40s. So she travelled for her vacation and came back looking slimmer and very very nice, may i add, to my dismay! thats case No. 1 out of many.

My former No. 2 Boss, (remember MP?), she dropped down from 16/18 to a 14! she once bought a 16 suit and the thing wasnt properly fitted! plus this woman dresses to kill, on a normal day, she dresses like she's going for a corporate lunch. very decent, nice and toosh. u dont want to imagine her in trad for a wedding, absolute stunner! may i add, she is also a mother of 2 grown boys and a bit over 50! u should see her on fridays, either in native or casuals, she looks like a very young mama! let me beef her small by saying "afterall, her husband get plenty money"!

My former colleagues mum, who is well over 50 looks like my colleague's sister. u have to squint to see her white hair (thank God for that!). on her grandson's first birthday, she wore pants and top and looked like one of us, conviniently. plus her daughter told me she has and knows where to get the hottest lingeries anywhere. now am seriously fuming.......

there's my friend K, she bakes cakes, she's the one i get to bake all my birthday cakes etc she has 2 little girls too and in her 30s. she is something between size 8 and 10. yet the very evil K bakes me the sinful, lovely and spongy choc cakes for my birthdays, just the way i love it and stupidly, i eat and beg for more. whats the result? very obvious and apparent, am a size 14!!!!!! ok, we are coming back to me...........

these are just a few, i see lots of these "Mummies" these days and they are hot. in fact, hotter than we twenty-something-and-very-single-girls of these days i can bet u.

now to the purport of this rambling cos i know u r wondering whats my ish with them.....

I am now a confirmed SIZE 14 going on 16!!!!!

in fact, i struggle to enter some fitted size 14 dresses these days.
i had noticed this some months ago when i tried on some of my trads, they just would not zip or pass the hip. u should see war in "packing" myself into some of my old trad attires, na war!
i became very very sad yesterday when i was trying on some jeans. size 12 jeans (the type that stretches usually do well on me). 14 wont be so smart. news flash, the size 14 could not pass my bum! the fact that its the very tough jeans material is not consoling me right now. i have exploded and am just 27 and unmarried and have no kids yet!!!

funny thing is, i do not "feel" fat. sincerely, i do not. in fact, i dont remember how fat i am until i try on something i like or i take photographs. these are the things that remind me that am fat.

i walk smart, can do exercises (dont do the gym bit tho), not lazy, dont feel heavy etc but am fat.

i know u cant wait to ask the obvious question, whats my diet like?

ok.......... confession time. i promise u, am going to be very honest:

i eat basically twice in a day, at most. brunch and supper.
i do not do large plates, i get filled easily.
i eat fruits, a lot. i love apples and eat them when i feel perkish instead of biscuits and chocs.
i have done away with coke almost completely, i can go a week without coke et al.
i have reduced ice cream drastically to about once in 3 wks (this is hard considering how much i love ice cream)
i do lots of vegetables.
i have zero resistant for cakes. yes. that is my undoing.
i love chicken which is healthy, abi? i know the skin isnt but i indulge once in a while.
i like junk food but dont do them often, hello! u need lots of money to do junks in this abuja place! i cant keep taking trips to grandsquare or kay's house when i feel like cake so that has reduced the crave for cakes.
i've done away with pastries but still do a little bread tho. i heard that is very bad.

this is so annoying. all the things i like except apples, which i hope some researcher wont come up to say is fattening, are bad for me. Btw, they say bananas are fattening, is this true?! and indomies too!

EVERYTHING I LIKE IS POISONOUS!!!!

the more i become consious of my weight, the more i exercise and watch my diet, its exactly at those times that people say "Omotee, u dey gain weight o!". when i let go and do crap, people dont seem to notice. o ti su mi o.

i know i have to be disciplined but this is so hard. i have heard a zillion weight losing methods but i know i cant do lots of them:

i dont like gyms, its just so routine and cliche. would love to lose weight in a fun manner.

i just want to be a size 12 at least, thats all i pray for. i know as a matter of fact that i have a hot shape (this is very true, ask my friends) but my stomach and big bum wont let it show that much. a size 12 with a fairly sucked in stomach will do me just good, this is all i want.

knowing my vices, what do i do now?!
i know i sound like a broken record but indulge me.

and please, please, do not, whatever u advise (i need ur advice badly), dont tell me to quit cakes completely, once in 3 wks cannot be that bad and am just taking 2 (or 3) slices of choc cakes!

Hormones and other stories

Hey guys!

longest time. promised myself was going to get my writing mojo back but the muse seems to be angry with me. i have like a zillion things to talk about and yet, i dont get to put anything down, i just do blog rounds and close up.

a lot has happened since my last post:

LAGOS/NBA CONFERENCE:
i started my leave at old office on the 15th of last month, went to lagos for the NBA conference. the conf is actually an opportunity to hook up with lots of old friends, it was fun! i had plenty fun. everyone took turns in taking me out, debonairs, chocolate royale, galleria etc. yeah, i realise how bush i sound now for not knowing all those places, I do not like Lagos! i sincerely feel u have to be superhuman or something to live in lagos. but my man Fashola has performed some miracle there, its much much saner than i expected.

the conference was nice, lots of lawyers, forming activity like we can actually care to solve Nigeria's problems. ok, i am a pessimist, and i am changing that, but i feel the issues or Nigeria cannot be solved by lots of talks and conferences, our issues are much more.......... tougher than plenty speeches. God help us.

and in Lag i saw Cutie! remember cutie?

CUTIE:

Cutie is my name sake. Cutie and i met some 2 yrs ago and we clicked. he is so cute and so funny and brilliant plus we have plenty of chemistry. we really like each other and still both afraid to commit into a relationship cos of distance. Cutie stays in Lag, i here in Abuja with no hopes of relocating. now cutie seems to be open to the idea of the long relationship thingi and now.......... i couldnt be bothered. i really like Cutie but a real relationship takes 2 willing people. last time we discussed, we were supposed to be dating but he does something funny. when we talk on phone, he tries to be formal and nice, so that the people with him dont think he is talking to someone special. he calls later at night then gets into his element and starts the "Hi baby" thing.

whenever he introduces me to anyone, its very formal: "Meet Omotee", thats all. Its annoying! Does he think am stupid?

So, i just talked to myself. I like Cutie. would like it very much if we had something serious going on. Cutie doesnt seem to think that way. seems to me like he wants the 2 of us to know of the relationship btw us. That sucks and its really silly.

I know he had this girlfriend that they've been dating for so long and they've kinda broken up. then saw her passport in his wallet plus all his deja vu kind of attitude, i decided to confront him some 2 weeks ago about it. didnt quarell or anything. just sent him a text: "hey, are u and Miss......... still together?"
then he said "yes....but we should talk about this".

so we talked later and Cutie didnt own up, didnt say Yes we are dating or No we are not dating. just said "Babe, lets drop this, its not an issue for us. I am your man and I'm asking you to just forget about that whole issue".

can you beat that?!?!

anyway, i didnt quarell with him over it. just left the issue and dropped him as well. just stopped calling him and when he calls, i dont sound cold or anything. point is, as much as i like him, am not hung up over him, i am not crazy about him. my attitude is, if he is there, fine. if not, too bloody bad!

MF has taught me a lesson, i am not going to let anybody hurt me that much again. stay if u want to, if cant, take a hike! headache over a guy is too expensive for me to pay.

HORMONES:

i think i have a probem. ok, maybe not a problem problem, but its there, nagging, and no, i havent gone preggers.

usually when am ovulating, i feel extremely mushy mushy, badly want to have sex, have babies, i see babies and go, awwwwwwwwwwwwwww!

for the past few days now, i have been extremely mushy mushy, my hormones are everywhere, driving me nuts. i see a nice looking tall guy and i imagine a gazillion things and the poor guy wouldnt even be looking in my direction, talkless of saying hello! i think its pathetic! i am not even ovulating. is this normal? i think its a bit abnormal.

bottom line: I need a boyfriend and i need him fast!

PS:

i promise to update something that makes sense soon, but right now, my hormones arent even helping me make sense. have a great weekend y'all!