Tuesday, February 2, 2010

Lets call them Bee and Tee.

Tee met Bee sometime 2008, Bee is a colleague's cousin, she just thot of him as cute and quiet. never ever thot anything could happen.
so sometime mid last year, they got talking more, got closer and closer, seeing almost on a daily basis, lots of text messages, the whole works. Tee was enjoying the attention and care. Bee is one very very caring man, the very definition of a perfect gentleman. he remembers every tiny detail Tee.

This is kinda new for Tee. her man radar always seemed to catch the no-gooders who were never sure what they wanted from her or life generally. He was just different, always knew what he wanted and went for it, doing all it requires to get it. a very matured man.
Everything was just going on well for them, it seemed like a perfect match. But there was a big issue:

AGE.

Tee is a year and 2 months older than Bee. For Tee this was a big no no. She had refused to date a guy 7 days younger than she was during her uni days, the guy still hasnt gotten over that fact. Its just right and proper for the man to be older. Thats the norm.

Another issue, Bee is also just starting his life. He got called to the bar late last year which makes Tee 3 yrs above him professionally, he's doing his youth corp program right now. It will be quite right to say Tee is above him in the things that matter, so to speak.


So, some of you might have guessed along the line: this is the story of my life. I am Tee and Bubbly is Bee. I just wanted you to form your opinion before i told you who they are.

When Bubbly popped the question, i felt so sad and my heart ached but i was so convinced the honourable thing to do was say no. So i told him no, this cant work.
He wanted to know why but i wanted to save his ego, these things hurt men's ego i learnt. But i couldnt be evasive for too long, he wanted to know and then asked one day "Could this be about age?" I admitted it was.

He said he was willing to prove to me that it wasnt an issue for him and that it shouldnt stop us.
I kept thinking about everything that could possibly go wrong: his mum will hear and freak out, his friends will think am bossing him or that i've used jazz for him, he'll wake up one day and realise am too old for him, if i disagree with him he'll think am trying to lord it over him etc

Truthfully, i really really liked Bubbly, he makes me very very happy. For the first time in my life, i'm enjoying a drama-free relationship. There's no hide and seek, no shady secrets. He's a good xtian and very honest.
No, he is not perfect, he has his own issues, just like any human being. But with him, i am very happy.

Its not been all rosy. I'm having to change my mentality about dating a younger guy, its no longer such a big deal but its there, somewhere in my subconcious. I try to be normal, I respect him like i would any man and try not to make him uncomfortable or threatened. I'm proud of him and try to tell people as much as necessary of his true status, he is a youth corper and a green wig (fresh lawyer), thats what he is for now, he wont be like that forever. If people dont approve, well, they hide their dissappointment well.

The sum total of it is that, I think he loves me sincerely, if he's faking it, he's got to be better than Tom Hanks but then, I dont see why he would be lying. His mum has known and really likes me too, except she's better than Julia Roberts or so too. She seems to have accepted me.

I know i love him too, its hard not to fall for someone like Bubbly.
I told a very close friend who i know will be objective and she said :"you've been praying you meet a man who'll love u and make u happy, now u have found him, will u let age deny you of the joys of the relationship?"

So am taking it one step at a time, savouring the moment. I pray for the wisdom and strength to deal with this peculiar relationship of mine. And I'm praying things get better and that there will be a nice ending to this love story.

So thats it, story of my life.

PS:
i really would love to hear ur opinion on this, i've asked about it in the past, i've made my mind up so no big deal, do feel free to air ur opinion.

PPS:

Happy New Month!
This very wonderful month.
Pls do share, how do u intend to celebrate valentine? Lets hear it!

I'm publishing my valentine wish list next post, pls do feel very free to pick more than one item, i will make them very affordable and postable. thank u very much!

16 comments:

leggy said...

i think you should do whatever makes you happy.

Qm said...

Hmmmmmmm,just do whatever makes u happy really cos u have clearly stated all d fears i would have had too and it seems fine......as long as its not similar to tpayne and 9ice where one is a complete illiterate and she spent so much time and money tushing him up...i dont even care if twas her fault,there are clearly incompatible!!!

Omotee! said...

leggy, thanx, thats what i've resolve to do, no regrets that way.

Qm, thanx for stopping by. hmm, i think we are quite far from 9ice and Tpaynes issues.

Sugarking said...

I really think the key thing to success in a relationship is happiness and peace of mind. ypu've clearly pointed out that these are both there already, so what, for goodness sakes is AGE??? Its just a Year plus!!!! Ask urself sef, do u really see d age difference when u look at him? Both u and I know d answer. Enjoy ur life babes, life's too short.

Omotee! said...

sugarking: hmmm, i dont see the age thing when i look at him. thanx man, thats why i love u (truly).

happy new year + month

RepressedOne said...

I knew you were talking about you and bubbly as soon as i started reading.

Gurllllllllll, it's ONLY a year!!! Don't miss out on something great cos you Think society/awon aiye will frown on it cos really if the Age doesn't show in your daily interaction then why is it a problem?? I'm kinda hung up on age as well but a year isn't bad at all. Do what makes you happy biko and bubbly clearly does.

LMAO@ QM--see as you just open alaposurplus dem yansh...so that was [part of]their issue, ey? lol Na wa ya!

Myne Whitman said...

Hi,

It must be tough having to resolve this very difficult conflict of the heart, and I really feel for you.

But it would be good to think about why you're making your choice, and why exactly you wouldn't want to date someone who is younger than you, even if he is a good person that makes your heart sing with joy.

Would you go out with him if he was older than you but everything else was the same (including him just starting out)?

Would you prefer to go out with someone who was older than you but who was bossy and insecure, rather than someone who was younger and more mature?

I do understand that older women pairing up with younger men is not so common, so this would make the decision somewhat difficult. Anyway, whatever you do decide, I hope that it does bring you happiness.

Omotee! said...

repressed the sharp lady, lol. i know i couldnt fool all of u.
i feel honoured to have ur majesty here (ur head dey swell abi?)
thank u for ur kind words.

myne myne myne
i did struggle with all those things and i thot deep within myself why i was doing it; dating him that is. i've finally dealt with the age issues, i've given us a chance and i believe age or no age, the important factors are present. its tough but then... nothing good comes so easily right?

thanks a lot!

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Andrea said...

From what I understand, he makes you happy, his mom likes you, he treats you well.. he is a good man. I am not you..but if I was..guess what "f..k what society would say" it is your happiness that matters. But remember if you decide its him forever you must be ready to deal with all the issues. Now ask you self, can you handle the age thing. Will it bother you down the road if you decided to marry him.

Anonymous said...

Hmmmmmm,,,,its really worth d thoughts,,,,but d most important thing is where u really find happiness if he is matured enuogh to show all u all the TLC why not,,,tink ure good to go.We have older guys who behave like teens so age is jst in numbers,,,,pls urself and pray for wisdom to handle everytin,,,,,take kea girl.cheers.xxx

Omotee! said...

andrea, thanx for ur kind words and for stopping by.

anonymous G, thanx a lot. when will u start ur own blog? lol

Enkay said...

I'll say it doesn't matter what people think!

And to be honest, 1year isn't so bad at all.
He may be green wig now but that don't mean he'll need to climb the rungs of the corporate ladder one at a time.

I was working for two years already before my hubby jump started his career and now he's well ahead of me! Even if he wasn't it would not matter at all.

If you're happy, darling please don't hold back!

Omotee! said...

Enkay, been waiting for ur comment. thanx love.

rethots said...

"He wanted to know why..." every guy always wants to know 'why' but, is it always for ego???

"He said he was willing to prove to me that..." it matters not what the proof is, no guy needs ever proof anything to a lady, she already knows. More impportantly, she has already made up her mind.

Anonymous said...

I got married without my dowry being paid. The reason is simple my father's family are not responsible and after his death we the children had alot to cope with. Even when I was going to get married we were homeless. Omotee i guess you should know who is typing this. But then i was a bit concern about what the society will say (awon aye) but the truth is pple go forever talk and i think the proper thing to do is to give them what to talk about. I am happily married with a lovely datter and a man that respect and love me. If u love him and he loves u and u ve this inner peace that only u can feel plssssssss i beg u in the name of God grab this man and dont let him go. Pple dont get to live your life for u but u live your life if that is the case dont let them dictate who you shd marry. Age is nothing but numbers....