EVERYTHING I LIKE IS POISONOUS!!!

I've known my new boss for a long time now, although she's never been very fat, she's quite on the big side - which is permissible, she's a mother of 2 in her 40s. So she travelled for her vacation and came back looking slimmer and very very nice, may i add, to my dismay! thats case No. 1 out of many.

My former No. 2 Boss, (remember MP?), she dropped down from 16/18 to a 14! she once bought a 16 suit and the thing wasnt properly fitted! plus this woman dresses to kill, on a normal day, she dresses like she's going for a corporate lunch. very decent, nice and toosh. u dont want to imagine her in trad for a wedding, absolute stunner! may i add, she is also a mother of 2 grown boys and a bit over 50! u should see her on fridays, either in native or casuals, she looks like a very young mama! let me beef her small by saying "afterall, her husband get plenty money"!

My former colleagues mum, who is well over 50 looks like my colleague's sister. u have to squint to see her white hair (thank God for that!). on her grandson's first birthday, she wore pants and top and looked like one of us, conviniently. plus her daughter told me she has and knows where to get the hottest lingeries anywhere. now am seriously fuming.......

there's my friend K, she bakes cakes, she's the one i get to bake all my birthday cakes etc she has 2 little girls too and in her 30s. she is something between size 8 and 10. yet the very evil K bakes me the sinful, lovely and spongy choc cakes for my birthdays, just the way i love it and stupidly, i eat and beg for more. whats the result? very obvious and apparent, am a size 14!!!!!! ok, we are coming back to me...........

these are just a few, i see lots of these "Mummies" these days and they are hot. in fact, hotter than we twenty-something-and-very-single-girls of these days i can bet u.

now to the purport of this rambling cos i know u r wondering whats my ish with them.....

I am now a confirmed SIZE 14 going on 16!!!!!

in fact, i struggle to enter some fitted size 14 dresses these days.
i had noticed this some months ago when i tried on some of my trads, they just would not zip or pass the hip. u should see war in "packing" myself into some of my old trad attires, na war!
i became very very sad yesterday when i was trying on some jeans. size 12 jeans (the type that stretches usually do well on me). 14 wont be so smart. news flash, the size 14 could not pass my bum! the fact that its the very tough jeans material is not consoling me right now. i have exploded and am just 27 and unmarried and have no kids yet!!!

funny thing is, i do not "feel" fat. sincerely, i do not. in fact, i dont remember how fat i am until i try on something i like or i take photographs. these are the things that remind me that am fat.

i walk smart, can do exercises (dont do the gym bit tho), not lazy, dont feel heavy etc but am fat.

i know u cant wait to ask the obvious question, whats my diet like?

ok.......... confession time. i promise u, am going to be very honest:

i eat basically twice in a day, at most. brunch and supper.
i do not do large plates, i get filled easily.
i eat fruits, a lot. i love apples and eat them when i feel perkish instead of biscuits and chocs.
i have done away with coke almost completely, i can go a week without coke et al.
i have reduced ice cream drastically to about once in 3 wks (this is hard considering how much i love ice cream)
i do lots of vegetables.
i have zero resistant for cakes. yes. that is my undoing.
i love chicken which is healthy, abi? i know the skin isnt but i indulge once in a while.
i like junk food but dont do them often, hello! u need lots of money to do junks in this abuja place! i cant keep taking trips to grandsquare or kay's house when i feel like cake so that has reduced the crave for cakes.
i've done away with pastries but still do a little bread tho. i heard that is very bad.

this is so annoying. all the things i like except apples, which i hope some researcher wont come up to say is fattening, are bad for me. Btw, they say bananas are fattening, is this true?! and indomies too!

EVERYTHING I LIKE IS POISONOUS!!!!

the more i become consious of my weight, the more i exercise and watch my diet, its exactly at those times that people say "Omotee, u dey gain weight o!". when i let go and do crap, people dont seem to notice. o ti su mi o.

i know i have to be disciplined but this is so hard. i have heard a zillion weight losing methods but i know i cant do lots of them:

i dont like gyms, its just so routine and cliche. would love to lose weight in a fun manner.

i just want to be a size 12 at least, thats all i pray for. i know as a matter of fact that i have a hot shape (this is very true, ask my friends) but my stomach and big bum wont let it show that much. a size 12 with a fairly sucked in stomach will do me just good, this is all i want.

knowing my vices, what do i do now?!
i know i sound like a broken record but indulge me.

and please, please, do not, whatever u advise (i need ur advice badly), dont tell me to quit cakes completely, once in 3 wks cannot be that bad and am just taking 2 (or 3) slices of choc cakes!